Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to split bill evenly six ways

356 replies

SaucySpider · 12/01/2019 23:26

I've just been for a meal with my daughter and son in law together with his parents. My husband and I arrived early so bought some drinks and were seated while we waited for the others. We had a very nice meal and had a good evening. However when the bill came my daughter split the bill evenly six ways but after our first drinks hubby and I only drank tap water (not because we are mean but because we like water with our meal) while the others all had at least two alcoholic drinks then coffees which were added to the bill. Thus we ended up paying for a large portion of their drinks. Don't get me wrong we are always willing to 'get a round in' when we socialise but having already bought our own drinks and not having any more I felt a little bit cheated or am I being a skinflint. Would it have been fairer to just split the food part?

OP posts:
FevertreeLight · 12/01/2019 23:58

You sound really miserable.

I would have expected one of the parent couples to have paid the bill for everyone. In fact I would have expected the parent couples to have a light hearted argument as they both tried to settle the bill. Finishing with a , well that was delightful, don't forget next time it is on us.

3catsandcounting · 12/01/2019 23:58

We always split the bill, whether its friends or family, though I do have a friend who happily chucks in her £20 for a calamari starter and fillet steak with a couple of side dishes, when most of us have just had a lasagne or risotto. (must pull her up on it next time, I know!)

Costacoffeeplease · 12/01/2019 23:59

We always split evenly, although if one of us has had a more expensive meal they usually put in more to cover it. I can’t stand it when people want to quibble and pay less

DippyAvocado · 13/01/2019 00:01

I'm with you. I hate this! I'm on a tight budget but try to join in with some social events, eg nights out with school Mums. I dont drink much so I usually drive to save money and choose an inexpensive option from the menu. Then it's so awkward if someone wants to split the bill containing the wine and steak some of the others have ordered. Maybe people think I'm tight, but I'm on a lower income than most of them and just can't afford to subsidise their choices. Now I feel I have to not take part in nights out.

nicoala1 · 13/01/2019 00:02

Not worth it to complain about a couple of drinks or coffees. You could have chosen to have the same.

I hate this tightness over a glass or two sorry. Different if company have taken the piss and ordered bottles of expensive claret or champagne, but for a couple of drinks and coffees I think you need to chill out.

CloserIAm2Fine · 13/01/2019 00:03

YANBU

However there’s no point brooding on it. The time to say something was when the bill was presented or at the start of the meal. Mentioning it afterwards makes you seem right. Wanting to pay your fair share without subsidising others is reasonable though.

chocatoo · 13/01/2019 00:03

I also am surprised that the 2 sets of parents didn’t argue about picking up the tab for at least the son & daughter...

CloserIAm2Fine · 13/01/2019 00:04

YANBU

However there’s no point brooding on it. The time to say something was when the bill was presented or at the start of the meal. Mentioning it afterwards makes you seem right. Wanting to pay your fair share without subsidising others is reasonable though.

CloserIAm2Fine · 13/01/2019 00:04

Sorry for the double post Blush

Believability · 13/01/2019 00:04

YABU I can’t beat it when people nit pick what they did or didn’t eat.

PenelopeFlintstone · 13/01/2019 00:04

How much extra did it cost you, OP?

Stormy76 · 13/01/2019 00:05

In future ask for separate bills, it can be done. I cannot bear penny pinching over bills, I have watched people tip out their purses to get enough 2p’s and 1p’s to pay for what they had......then refuse to tip the waitress claiming they have no money. If you can’t afford to go for a meal ....don’t go. I would have spoken up actually about the drinks, because you only drank water so should have had to pay for their drinks

Sparklybanana · 13/01/2019 00:05

Unless you’re broke or just had bread, I think yabu. It’s family. It’s your daughter? It’s not really significant enough to cause an arguement. next time just say you’re watching the pennies beforehand or drink more evenly.

MeredithGrey1 · 13/01/2019 00:06

I would have expected one of the parent couples to have paid the bill for everyone. In fact I would have expected the parent couples to have a light hearted argument as they both tried to settle the bill. Finishing with a , well that was delightful, don't forget next time it is on us.

Agreed.

Also, I think since it was your daughter who split the bill evenly, perhaps her in laws assumed that she knew you’d be fine with it? Maybe that’s why they didn’t suggest working it out by who had what.

ilovesooty · 13/01/2019 00:07

Why would one of the parent couples have been expected to pay?

nutellalove · 13/01/2019 00:07

YABU. You had some drinks. Slightly less than others . If you'd had none all then maybe YANBU but in this situation I think you are being petty

DippyAvocado · 13/01/2019 00:09

If you can’t afford to go for a meal ....don’t go.

So people on lower incomes shouldn't be able to socialise?? I can afford to go for a meal if I choose carefully. If I'm invited somewhere expensive, I don't go but if it's somewhere like a pub where there are a range of options on the menu why shouldn't I be able to join the outing and pick something I can afford to pay for?

Also, non-drinkers should not have to pay for those who are drinking as the difference in cost between alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks is huge.

Aridane · 13/01/2019 00:10

As a non drinker I think YABU

nicoala1 · 13/01/2019 00:10

This kind of penny pinching really gets my goat, sorry.

As you said the bill was split so how much extra did it cost you in the end?

WhirlieGigg · 13/01/2019 00:11

I’d say YANBU if you were out with friends. But when you’re out with family it’s a bit more flexible.

Original poster
SaucySpider · 13/01/2019 00:12

I don't normally worry about splitting evenly but on this occasion due to us buying our own first drinks then everyone elses being put on the bill it felt a little off balance. We ended up paying nearly twice as much for what our actual meals cost on top of what we had paid initially for drinks. However I am prepared to concede that in the greater scheme if things IABU.

OP posts:
Cherrysherbet · 13/01/2019 00:13

You’re being tight, unless you can’t afford it.

FevertreeLight · 13/01/2019 00:14

Why would one of the parent couples have been expected to pay?

Parents are generally more affluent than their children?
Good manners to offer to pay if you can afford it?
Splitting a bill is a bit off, so usually 1 person pays?
Parents treat their children?

Lots of reasons.

Fairenuff · 13/01/2019 00:20

having already bought our own drinks

You paid for tap water?

nicoala1 · 13/01/2019 00:23

Again, how much extra did you pay? Just wondered.

Swipe left for the next trending thread