When I Rule the World (lighthearted)

[wictional]

No driver who goes more than 10mph below the speed limit shall be allowed on the roads between 7-9am and 4-6pm (weather conditions permitted). Neither shall their car. AIBU?

Also, there will be one day a week where customer service staff will be allowed to say what they want rather than having to be polite about it. Like the purge, but with no murder. Hopefully.

Since I am a fair ruler, I will now hear requests from my subjects.

House numbers will be compulsory

thighofrelief101

Kindergarten offered free to all children from age 2 ( mat leave up to age2), school starts at age 7 with wrap round care if required, free. Overnight stay once a month at school/ kindergarten for adult free time.

Escalators up the side of every road wherein we all jump on and off as required so no need for buses/ cars ( I thought this up as a child).

Chewing gum which turns into a 3 course meal ( a la Charlie and the Chocolate factory) so I never need to cook ever again, just make toast and cereal.

A tap with fresh tea on every work desk.

@NigelGresley for president (bloodless coup)

and I let you have 12th night!!

Loving the idea of a tea tap, but mine will have coffee or Baileys. Or both.

I will be the leader of this new world OP.

I will be a kindly despot, being Emperor will require no effort on my part. People will respect me and have true joy in their hearts that I have become a megalomaniac.

Everyone will sing lovely songs about me and give me flowers and gifts that I deserve.

People will communicate via coded handkerchiefs and artisanal chocolates

@badlydrawnperson On a lever on the steering column reverse would be down.

Anyone who disagrees with me or hurts my feelings will have the choice of being shot in the face or getting told off by my mum.

People without children will not be automatically required to cover all leave/ absence granted to parents simply because they are parents. People without children will be given the option to cover these if they wish, for suitable additional pay and/or toil.

If you run a company/work in this country/deliver to this country you pay the proper tax - all tax avoidance schemes to be illegal - yes, I'm looking at you Amazon.

Large multinationals should be required to apportion their profits to countries according to turnover in each and pay each countries rate of corporation tax to the respective countries.

Properties bought in the UK, particularly by overseas investors, should be lived in or let, not left unoccupied as 'investment'.

Apparently it's a myth that properties are left unoccupied, the mayor of London commissioned research that showed it wasn't true. It was speculated by researchers that part of the reason for the myth is that it does take a couple of years after completion for a new development to become fully occupied, so there is a period of time in which a new development looks both complete and empty.

MephistophelesApprentice

If after every kick in the balls men were offered a pint, or a steak, or an any food/drink then I think they would.

Woman would not ask to go through the pain of childbirth without receiving a baby at the end of it! We’re not that bloody mad!!

All calories and sugar shall be removed from chocolate with none of the taste or texture gone. 🍫🤪

I would reverse the 12A and make 12 the cut off full stop

I would make it the law that you can be removed from and permanently banned from ALL cinemas for

Using your mobile phone during a film
Not removing your child if they are crying or misbehaving
Talking during a film in a situation that is not an emergency

You can tell what riles me can't you?

I would also enforce proper spelling and grammar, fines for use of things like

Could of
Chester Draws

I actually think people should receive fines (somewhat lighthearted)

Oh and I'd criminalise the Greatest Showman and all its fucking songs

Everyone in the world would have adequate housing. Access to medical care will be free for everyone. Sanitary products free for all. No second homes allowed. Women would rule over everything. Men would not be able to hurt anything other than them selves. Named brands wouldnt exist.

Strengthening of GDPR and requiring an Opt in to cookies.

All4 not having adverts.

4 days weeks for all.

Speakers on phones are disabled in public places or on public transport.

High schools serve healthy food.

Free public transport to achools.

All public transport is free and so is university fgs!

Cruelty to dogs is punishable by being shot in the face. Ditto unnecessary beeping in cars.

Overnight stay once a month at school/ kindergarten for adult free time.

^

I am so down with this.

Work should be seen as what has been completed, NOT as a 40 hour per week debacle. I can complete 40 hours of work in 20, so I should be allowed to go home early. Or work part time, even.

halfwit exactly. If i can do 11 hours work in 3 hours i should be rewarded. Arrive at 11, leave at 1 three days pw Ft wage. Makes sense to me.

Hotel duvets will be 4 tog as standard with thicker ones in the wardrobe for normal people my username is not random.

looks at clock and sighs

Everyone will have their own individual temperature bubble.

YES!

Chewing gum will be banned

Formal office wear will become a thing of the past. Hot day? wear shorts and t-shirt. Cold? wear that thick padded jacket or comfy jumper.

Beer will be an aid to weight loss.

Vegetables will no longer the 5 a day thing but cheese will.