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Original poster

To know it's all gone wrong night before 12 week scan?

432 replies

missymoon · 09/01/2019 17:33

I've had such a good gut feeling this entire pregnancy. Now my 12 week scan is tomorrow and I feel so numb because I just know the baby's dead. I know it's gone wrong. I can just sense it. All the threads I've read about mmc say that they just knew and that's exactly how I feel. The day before my scan. What a sick joke :( can these feelings ever be wrong? Sorry I know it doesn't belong here but posting for traffic I need answers or I'm going to do nothing other than cry all night. This can't be happening.

OP posts:
InternetRandomer · 09/01/2019 17:45

It’s just a defence mechanism that your brain is using. Preparing for the worst case scenario. Perfectly normal after previous losses. I’ve been there as have many others here Flowers

SpiritedLondon · 09/01/2019 17:45

You my lovely are going to need to take a deep breath..... and then do a few more. You need to calm yourself and Let’s think through this logically. Have you been pregnant before ? Are you aware of all the signs and indicators? Other than this terrible dread are there any other indicators that your baby is not well? Pain, bleeding etc? Any indicators that you’re still pregnant - painful boobs etc? I imagine that there are plenty of women who “knew” categorically that their baby had died only to discover that all is well - but I doubt they post too much about it on social media. I can remember thinking I was about 9 weeks pregnant and being so concerned by my lack of symptoms that I paid to have any early scan only to discover my tiny micro baby ( sesame seed sized) was all well and I was only 7 weeks pregnant. She’s now a healthy 6 year old. Maybe this intense fear is in fact a symptom of pregnancy and not a second sight. I know it’s easy to say relax but please at least try and calm yourself if you can because it won’t change the outcome- tomorrow will come soon enough. Hopefully other posters will have more reassuring stories to tell you. Good luck.

BIgBagofJelly · 09/01/2019 17:46

People only remember and talk about these feelings when they're right. If you "just knew" something was wrong and it turned out fine you tend to forget/not mention the misplaced feeling you had.

JammyGem · 09/01/2019 17:46

No one here can say whether you're right or not, but I'm hoping in this case you're wrong. If it helps, I had exactly the same feeling before my 12 week scan, to the point that I almost didn't attend as I didn't see the point... DD is currently asleep on my chest, so I was definitely wrong!

Original poster
missymoon · 09/01/2019 17:46

I've had no signs it's gone wrong. I've had HG actually so been feeling horrific and in and out of hospital and have stayed positive through it all because I knew it would be worth it. It's just such a scary gut feeling it seems so certain I could bet my life on it. I'm so sure that it's making me terrified. But you're all hopefully right and my mind is just playing tricks on me. My scan is at 9.30am so I just need to survive the night. Thank you all I needed to hear this stuff xx

OP posts:
Huffleypuff · 09/01/2019 17:47

There’s no way of just knowing, it’s just coincidence when you’re right.

When I had my MMCs I had no idea, one of the times I was having the strongest symptoms I’d ever had but the baby had died.

With my twin pregnancy all symptoms stopped at 8 weeks, I was sure the baby had gone, it turns out there were 2 of them, strong and healthy.

Pregnancy loss can cause horrendous anxiety during subsequent pregnancies. Try not to let it eat you up, it ruined my pregnancy for me. I was convinced my babies weren’t going to make it every day until they were born. They’re completely fine.

Try to stay calm until tomorrow, it’s much more likely than not that everything is fine x

NorthEndGal · 09/01/2019 17:47

I hope all goes well for you tomorrow

timetoriseandshine · 09/01/2019 17:49

You can absolutely be wrong and in this case I pray you are!
Your getting yourself worked up over something that may not have happened which isn't good for the baby.
I myself am 16 weeks pregnant and the hormones and stress and worry of literally everything is maximised a million times over
I had a big bleed at 8 weeks and just 'knew' my baby was gone...a scan the following day just proved me wrong. Our baby is 16 weeks and perfect
Please update us tomorrow but I'm sure baby will be fine
Lots of love

LittleScottieDog · 09/01/2019 17:51

After my mc, in my subsequent pregnancy (now wriggling on my lap after a feed) I grew more anxious as each scan approached. I'm sure this is the case here. Reading about mmc is hard because more people are bound to comment saying they knew and they were right, than people saying they thought everything was fine but it wasn't.

Step away from the threads and try to relax. I know it's hard but it's the only thing to do.

Best of luck for tomorrow x

Hubblebubbletripletrouble · 09/01/2019 17:53

As all pp have said, these are just feelings - I know how scary they are but it doesn’t actually mean anything. Try to distract yourself as best you can tonight. You haven’t got long to wait Flowers

AppleKatie · 09/01/2019 17:54

Try to distract yourself OP, if you’ve had HG and been in and out of hospital with sickness you are likely progressing just fine. There is no way to know for sure until tomorrow so make yourself do things that will eat up the time waiting.

ForgivenessIsDivine · 09/01/2019 17:55

Best of luck for tomorrow. Stay strong and I hope you get some sleep.

Smeeeeeee · 09/01/2019 17:55

Best wishes for tomorrow Smile

Allfednonedead · 09/01/2019 17:56

I did have a miscarriage the night before my 12 week scan. I knew because of the cramps and the bleeding.

I went into hospital but was told there is nothing they could do at that point. Either I was miscarrying or I wasn’t, and there was no medical intervention that could change things.

So for the next one, at 10 weeks, I stayed home. Then I got pregnant with DTs, who will be six next month. I was sure they wouldn’t stick, but they did!

Quartz2208 · 09/01/2019 17:56

take a deep breath the chances of this just been anxiety are very high

Loyaultemelie · 09/01/2019 17:56

Wishing you well for tomorrow Thanks

Shednik · 09/01/2019 17:59

I ‘knew’ during pregnancy that my child had severe learning difficulties. She’s now 9 and doesn’t. My sister ‘knew’ she was infertile. Her daughter is three.

You can be wrong! And at this stage, if a pregnancy goes wrong, nothing can be done to save it. So the wait for the scan will be excruciating. But it will soon be over.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 09/01/2019 17:59

I knew I was going to lose my baby. Bleeding and no heartbeat and a size that should have a heartbeat. At the time it seemed incredibly cruel that I had to wait 2 weeks for it to be confirmed.

Two weeks later the doctors also knew. So much so that before they did the “confirm miscarriage” scan they had already spent an hour talking me through my options and I had confirmed what I wanted to do.

And then they found a heartbeat.

He’s 5 now.

We were all wrong.

Penninepain · 09/01/2019 18:01

Try go relax 😁 Easier said than done, i know, but I think just about everyone feels like this about something important in their lives.
I floated on a cloud through pregnancies, gave birth with nothing more than an ooch, then looked at this screaming miserable wench of a baby and decided there was NO way on Gods earth i was capable of raising it to adulthood.
Who knew what to feed it? Would it be too hot or too cold, and would I know?

Doom and gloom are a part of life. Thankfully usually misplaced, so just relax and enjoy 😙

ScarlettDarling · 09/01/2019 18:02

This is anxiety, nothing more. It's horrible though. Try to relax, good luck with your scan tomorrow x

VampirateQueen · 09/01/2019 18:02

I felt like this before every check up when pregnant with both of mine, I was wrong every time. I hope for you it is just nerves and that everything will be fine for you tomorrow. Flowers

PumpkinPie2016 · 09/01/2019 18:05

I felt this way before my 12 week scan. My symptoms had stopped and I as utterly convinced that I would go to the scan and the baby would be dead. The scan happened to be on my husband's birthday and I was convinced his birthday and all future birthdays would be ruined because we were going to get awful news.

The baby was fine and is now a healthy 5 year old!

With my 20 week scan, I was feeling baby move so knew it was alive but was convinced that there would be something awful wrong - there wasn't!

I honestly think a lot of people have these things and it's almost is preparing ourselves for the worst.

I hope all goes well tomorrow!

MotherTruckerHere · 09/01/2019 18:05

In my experience, you are so excited to be pregnant but then, the night before the scan, it suddenly dawns on you that you could potentially find out there’s a problem... chances are, you’ll be absolutely fine. I’m watching this thread. Hope tomorrow goes well OP xx

paintinmyhairAgain · 09/01/2019 18:07

will be thinking of you tomorrow, hope all goes well for you Flowers

EnglishRose13 · 09/01/2019 18:08

I felt like this before my 12 week scan too. He's going to be three in April.

I really hope everything goes well tomorrow. I'll be checking this thread. Good luck!

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