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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Summer born babies - am I wrong?

749 replies

Sunflowermuma · 08/01/2019 12:31

Hi all, I'm probably BU particularly as my friends plans don't actually have any impact on me but

I have 2DD D1 is 3 and May Born. DD2 is 6m July Born

My friend has 3 kids. DS aged 7Sept, DD 3Aug and DS 5mAug

Our two daughters are both due to start school in September at different schools, my friend told me this week how she is in contact with the school to have her daughter start Sept 2020 instead as she's summer born. I asked why as her daughter is already in nursery 5 days, has no health issues and certainly isn't behind on development. Her reasoning? She just doesn't want a child to be youngest in the year.

Her son is very bright and doing really well at school and she puts that down to his sept birthday.

I queried her and said someone has to be the youngest and surely if she doesn't have any developmental issues the school will just say no. She replied saying that she'll make something up as she'll do what she can to get her DD ahead. Again this made no sense to me as surely having another year at nursery won't be good for her and she may get picked on once the other kids realise? She got a bit snappy with me and told me to mind my own so I now feel bad for questioning her, I was polite and tbh just trying to understand her thinking

Do people really do this? I understand delaying for developmental reasons but just to make your child the oldest instead of youngest?

OP posts:
tattyheadsmum · 12/01/2019 17:55

@holasoydora, beautifully put. Can I ask where you got that information re the government requesting reports on summer born boys? It might be useful for me when I start my application for out of cohort.

@Angela712, could I ask you the same re those statistics?

holasoydora · 12/01/2019 18:34

Grin at MC MC!

Also not a label I ever imagined would apply to me...

tatty a family member who is a year R teacher told me that data on the whole class is collected, then certain subsets, including SEN and summer born boys, and that effectively this meant they were viewed as a ‘disadvantaged’ group that the government wanted data on. These were her words and I have to admit I didn’t look into it further, but it did stick in my mind. I will see if I can dig out something concrete!

Oliversmumsarmy · 12/01/2019 18:34

We wouldn’t have this issue if our children started school a lot later.

Or we go back to teaching children the basics and got away from the National curriculum.

Maybe if primary were just for making sure every child could read, write and do basics maths when they come to leaving for secondary there wouldn’t be these problems

Angela712 · 12/01/2019 18:52

@tattyshead of course ... if you google school application offers you'll get the downloadable doc with stats fir Primary school place numbers.

The BBC report under a Freedom of Infirmation request provided the rest www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-45901714

Angela712 · 12/01/2019 18:53

@3out - i'm down wiv dat!!!

Angela712 · 12/01/2019 18:58

@tattyshead you shpukd also look at Gov briefing doc 07272 Summer-born children : starting school

tattyheadsmum · 12/01/2019 21:08

@Angela712 and @holasoydora, thank you both.

Angela712 · 12/01/2019 23:20

@tattyshead you're very welcome!

nojellybabies · 13/01/2019 18:05

“A - well I / my dc were August birthdays and we all have double firsts from oxbridge
B - well if you delay them they'll have an unfair advantage and where will it end?
C - if you delay them they'll go straight into year one
D - the teachers can tailor learning to all ages and abilities
E - they will all catch up within a few years “

Ooh, someone upped the bingo game :)

Angela712 · 13/01/2019 18:30

@Nojellybabies

F. only wealthy parents can afford to delay or defer

nojellybabies · 13/01/2019 21:36

Let’s not push our luck.

Angela712 · 13/01/2019 21:52

🤣

crazypikle · 15/02/2019 18:06

I agree it’s shitty and snobby, it will probably come back to bite him on the arse st some point when hid great new friends drop him or leave him out and he’s got no fall back
But how would your son feel if Bens mum says something to her son and he gets cheesed off will it not just cause more of an embarrassment I’d say just forget him his loss clearly

ginpink · 15/02/2019 18:26

@crazypikle

??

crazypikle · 15/02/2019 18:32

The name says it all I posted it on the wrong thread 🙈

BrieAndChilli · 15/02/2019 18:40

The problem is that the ability to defer has been brought in to help those summer born who ARE young for thier age and would benefit from being in the year below, however slowly more and more summer borns will be deferred, and people will defer as it will be seen as a disadvantage not to until eventually ALL summer borns will be deferred.
Then all the March/April babies will be the youngest and will in classes with kids that were born the precious May (so the same age gap as the current Sep and Aug babies) they will then be behind and disadvantaged so then it will be campaigned for those children to be deferred and so on - where does it end? It makes more sense for all children to attend a school type nursery and to be assessed they can then either proceed to reception or stay in nursery for another year.

ginpink · 15/02/2019 18:43

😂 @crazypikle which thread was that meant for, I'm intrigued now

UnperfectLife · 15/02/2019 18:53

So, to get her child ahead, she's going to put her a year behind???

SummerHouse · 15/02/2019 18:56

She is just trying to make the best choice for her child. Disagree if you like but do it in your head.

celtiethree · 15/02/2019 19:10

In Scotland it’s very common to defer, assuming normal distribution of birthdays then the age range in every class is 14/15 months difference from oldest to youngest, with this increasing, as parents are now arguing for their Oct to Dec children to be deferred so they are not the youngest. End of Feb is the cut off with an automatic right to deferral if your DC has a Jan/Feb birthday.

I didn’t defer my DC and many in his year are more than a year older than him, some more than 15 months older.

As deferral gains ground in England I’d anticipate it to become more common than not, esp. if children can then start in reception.

Sunshine6 · 15/02/2019 20:32

@BrieAndChilli I really can't see that happening at all. Most parents want to what's best for their child and for a lot of summerborns starting aged just 4 works fine, as you can see from plenty of comments on here, other parents can see the benefits of delaying entry for a year for their child. Not many people want to go against 'the norm' especially if there's a big battle to get it, which at the moment it still is in a lot of areas. The assumption that a delayed start instantly puts that child ahead of everyone else is also wrong. My June born has started reception aged 5 & 3 months and he's exactly where we figured he'd be, smack bang in the average to lower average in his class. So had he have started aged 4 & 3 months he would be right down at the bottom, struggling, being labeled as behind and possibly always staying like that. He needed that extra year of playing to mature to be ready academically & socially Other children are well & truly ready for school at just 4 and I can't see many parents wanting to delay their start if they are ready and wanting to go. He's the only one in his class of 30 that's started at CSA so it's still not a common thing to do.

TeacupDrama · 15/02/2019 22:03

lynney88
as a december birthday you are legally entitled to defer your child in Scotland, however only Jan/Feb deferrals automatically get another years funding for nursery, if your nursery support her deferral she should get funding and with the difficulties you have described that should not be a problem

Getting funding for extra educational needs is a different battle to this

at no point in Scotland do you miss a year once deferral is accepted you start in P1 and work up school with that group

my DD is an early december birthday as after discussion with nursery it was thought not in her best interests she is the youngest but 1 in her year but she is doing well she has always been sensible but I would have deferred if nursery had thought she would benefit from it, she will be 17.7 when she finishes school though

a 5 year old has 25% more life experience than a 4 year old

if children started between 5-6 rather than 4-5 that % would drop to 20% or less
personally I think the Scottish system is better no younger than 4.5 when starting, if you stick with 31st august I would allow anyone to defer a July/august birthday and May/june birthdays with supported reasons by nursery

33goingon64 · 15/02/2019 22:18

We are unusual in England (massive assumption you're in England) to start formal school at 4. It's much younger than most other countries particularly in Europe. We seriously thought about deferring for DS (August 2015 born) but we're going ahead as he seems very mature (apart from still being in nappies...). Wouldn't judge anyone for deferring for any reason. The law entitles you and the dc will be ahead in their year.

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