Summer born babies - am I wrong?

[Sunflowermuma]

Hi all, I'm probably BU particularly as my friends plans don't actually have any impact on me but

I have 2DD D1 is 3 and May Born. DD2 is 6m July Born

My friend has 3 kids. DS aged 7Sept, DD 3Aug and DS 5mAug

Our two daughters are both due to start school in September at different schools, my friend told me this week how she is in contact with the school to have her daughter start Sept 2020 instead as she's summer born. I asked why as her daughter is already in nursery 5 days, has no health issues and certainly isn't behind on development. Her reasoning? She just doesn't want a child to be youngest in the year.

Her son is very bright and doing really well at school and she puts that down to his sept birthday.

I queried her and said someone has to be the youngest and surely if she doesn't have any developmental issues the school will just say no. She replied saying that she'll make something up as she'll do what she can to get her DD ahead. Again this made no sense to me as surely having another year at nursery won't be good for her and she may get picked on once the other kids realise? She got a bit snappy with me and told me to mind my own so I now feel bad for questioning her, I was polite and tbh just trying to understand her thinking

Do people really do this? I understand delaying for developmental reasons but just to make your child the oldest instead of youngest?

@ginpin2 that would be down to the heads of both primary and the secondary to approve unfortunately. I'm sure as a former teacher you could be very persuasive so why not ask? Best of luck.

@tigger85
Sorry i din't know the answer but with medical issues you may be able to apply for out of cohort anyway? I would call the Dept for Education, ask to speak to the Primary Admissions team and find out. Send an email too but they taje 3 weeks to respond.

My younger niece was born in July and got her degree (2:1), aged 20.

What if she had got a 1:1 at 21?

What’s the point of all these anecdotes of summer borns doing really well academically? I always wonder why people think that’s a valid contribution to a discussion. There are always exceptions to the rule and no one has ever suggested that summer borns are guaranteed to fail!

I am sorry that you felt judged arewenearlythereyet. I have to say I did feel judged a bit (including a bit by his headmistress).

But then I had such lovely support from one of his preschools who were massively in favour of later school start and gave me the confidence to know I had made the right decision. Most other people were supportive too, including a year R teacher.

Most people knew my son when he was a toddler and found social situations quite difficult which was the main reason we deferred him. A year longer at preschool has made all the difference in that respect.

Haworthia quite.

My son’s headmistress even gave us one, pointlessly... Apparently, she was an August born child and did fine!

And for the record i'm not bothered about how well my children do academically - only that they are emotionally ready for school and don't spend their academic life struggling to keep up.

@plainvanilla have you heard the one about my chain smoking 90 year old nan? 🙄

Angela- yes, there's already a potential 11 month 3 week discrepancy between the oldest and youngest. You're saying that because that already happens, extending that to almost 2 years doesn't matter??!

If one child were just 4 and the other was 6, that's a fair old life-experience difference, isn't it?

My younger niece was born in July and got her degree (2:1), aged 20

Dp is very late summer born and academically he is brilliant but socially he knows he suffered and would have been as equally brilliant but had a better time at school if he had been even a few months older.

It is not just about academics or being socially mature it is about both.

The odd child it will not affect but for the majority there will be some form of hindrance connected with them being that much younger.

If school started at 7 my Ds would have flown but it was all a bit too much too soon and it has had a huge impact on his education because nowadays education is taught and if you don’t get it then you get left behind.

Atm he is on a course at college where because of varying circumstances he is the youngest by far. Not only because he is a summer born child but because they have put him up a year on top.

He was looking forward to making friends in a more school like environment but as he has been put in a class with so much older boys he isn’t getting the social experience we were hoping for.

He is doing extremely well in the class and has topped the exams and tests every time with near perfect scores and if he can pass his English GCSE he will pass his course and qualify as one of the youngest there but I can’t tell you the struggle it has been socially for him.

@Lweji I don't think that is relevant.
She is as "ignorant" as anything. No foreign languages, or much general knowledge, but well up on political correctness!
I love her to death, though.

@miljah no there won't be up to 2 years difference in age!!! Basic maths fail.
I would have been the eldest by 4 weeks

No child would be 6
All children have to start school the term after they turn 5.
Please do RTFT

@Miljah I'm not sure where the 2 years gap or 6 year old is coming from. The youngest could be 4 & the very eldest could potentially be 5 & 5 months. So a 17 month gap at most. That would literally only be if one child was born on April 1st & one born on August 31st.

The thing is though 1 year at 4 is 25% of their life. At five it's only 20% ,at 6 16% so the relative difference decreases with age. So the 5 year old is not as relatively immature to a 6 year old as a 4 to a 5 year old. Quite apart from this nursery hours are determined by calender age ,so September borns have on average had more nursery as well as being older. Summer borns are doubly disadvantaged

@stillwishihadabs
Exactly 👏

The difference between a child born on 1st September and one born on 31st August the following year.

Whilst one is a new born the older could be walking, talking, eating solid foods, they have had 11 months 3 weeks and 6 days more input than the younger child.

Then at school they are expected to be at the same level

@Oliversmumsarmy They're not necessarily expected to be at the same level. When my DC1 took the Eton Test, they staggered it to accommodate children who were younger in the academic year....

Bit off topic, but @Lweji I did get a First, aged 20 (youngest in my year - end of August). And it was a long time ago, before First were relatively common...

@nojellybabies ... we have a winner surely?🏆

@etonianmother let me tell you about my nan. 90 yrs old, died of old age, chain smoked her whole life since a child. I presume you will consider giving your DC cigarettes for their next birthday now? Because she was fine - so obviously people making links between smoking and cigarettes are just looking for an excuse for their weak constitution

.....and YES it’s EtonianMother by a nose!

I would say she has raised the bar ......

.....sweepstake next time?

Oh go away, you lot. If my username were 'SloughComprehensiveMother', you'd all be saying how fantastic it was that they took birth month into account during the Admissions process...

And I can't help it if I was shit at lots of things brilliant at my degree subject, despite being an August birthday, can I? (Doesn't stop me leaving the 's' off 'Firsts' )

Oh if only your user name was the issue....

Oh @Etonianmother once you've nursed the bruise from carrying a self-inflicted chip on your shoulder, do us the courtesy of RTFT would you?