Aibu thinking my parents should pay

[PigsInSlankets]

For themselves on my birthday? I don't expect them to fork out on my dinner or my dh/dc. But its a 'milestone' birthday and I don't think it's fair to expect me to pay for themselves and their families.

Attending are myself, DD, DH.
My DMis bringing 2 DBros and DGM
My DF is bringing DSM, 2DBros and 1DSis.

They suggested going for dinner to celebrate, and now they've both said they're unwilling to pay. It's been booked for months and they've told me they don't want to pay when it's only 2 weeks away.

UPDATE: So a few things have happened.

DF responded, he said:

"(PigsInSlankets), I'm am dissapointed that you no longer want to go for dinner. We were all looking forward to spending your (X)th birthday with you. I understand your financial situation is difficult at the moment. We will probably not be popping in for a drink as we probably won't have time. We hope you have a lovely birthday. Dad."

I got a pretty crappy toned message from my aunt saying "your dad told us what happened. such a shame. we were looking forward to seeing you too. nevermind. happy birthday (First and Middle name)"

Hadn't heard anything from DM since, until about 20 minutes ago when she asked to borrow £50.

This is crazy. So they could come for the meal if you were paying but can't find the time for a drink otherwise. They're so disappointed because they wanted to see you on your birthday but not enough to pay for their own meal? I think they live in a parallel universe of some kind.

Charming 🙄

Is this out of character for them?

We will probably not be popping in for a drink as we probably won't have time.

But they had time for a meal, if you were paying. They are scrounging users and but seeing them will do you no harm at all.

And not seeing them

Omg. I would respond with goodbye. You should not have to buy their time. You are worth more op.

So what does you aunt think happened? They sound like hard work

I just don't understand your parents' way of thinking. They think THEY should be bought meals by their daughter for HER milestone birthday? They're bonkers!

"dissapointed [sic] that you no longer want to go for dinner" ....He knows full well that you wanted to go for dinner and that it's his and your DM's extreme selfishness that has caused it to be cancelled!

Honestly your family are just embarrassing themselves now. They sound awful.

She asked to borrow £50?

There are no words

I wouldn't respond to any of them. They have created their own little drama!

And your mum can fuck off. She has no shame.

Tell do you need the £50 for going out for a meal .

I am assuming a huge back story of cf

He had plenty of time when he thought you'd be the one coughing up for it. Sorry your parents are acting like stropping teenagers. Go and have a great day without them.
P.S. Ask your DM what part of I can't afford stuff right now she doesn't get

Gosh this is so bad I can barely believe that it’s real!

I’d reply back to them all “thanks for doing everything you can to make my special birthday upsetting. Don’t worry- I’m sure I will have a lovely day without you.”

Nothing extra to say, parents are just unbelievably crap sometimes. I hope you have a lovely celebration with your own little family OP & enjoy your special birthday.

'So dad told you that he invited me out to celebrate my birthday and then, this week, told me I'm paying for everyone? Despite him inviting? You think it's a shame i can't pay or a shame not to see me since the latter you can do skmething about- to aunt

Im disappointed you feel it's fine to spend my money and will use me for that but wont make the effort to see me.'- dad

No. The bank of me and mine is close. As is the invitation to my house on my birthday. -to mum

Oh, OP

They have some serious brass balls to act like the wronged party here.

Whatever you do, have a fabulous birthday and don't let this hinder your enjoyment of it, if you can help it.

I know they're family, but really, right now they're behaving so so selfishly.
You deserve better.

I do hope you're not even entertaining the idea of lending your mum any more money.

I wonder how it was told to your aunt? I bet it wasn't in a positive light.

You really don't need these people in your life, they're sorry excuses for parents.

"Gee, Dad. I'm disappointed you had plenty of time for a leisurely expensive dinner when you expected me to foot the bill (on my own birthday) but no time on the same evening for drinks and cake to celebrate same birthday. Wow. Says it all, really."

As for your mum, a simple, "No,You already owe me £X for X. I'd like you start paying that back next week, btw. Installments are fine. ." to her CF request.

I'm agog at their rudeness.

I would not reply to the lot of them.

You still haven't said if they have form for this? Obviously they're both tight, but this is emotional and financial manipulation?

Wow so they had time to come to the free meal but not to pop into yours for cake and a drink?! They genuinely sound like hard work. Fancy your mum asking for fifty quid! 😧 Forget them all. I hope you have a lovely birthday with your own family.

Interesting to know what aunt thinks happened.

'Dad, thank you for your message. Of course I'd want to go for a meal on my birthday, but am not in any position to pay for everybody to eat at my expense.
On birthdays it is usual to treat the person whose birthday it is. I wasn't even expecting to be treated, but I certainly wasn't expecting to treat everybody else on my birthday.
Very hurtful how you'd all have the time to have a free meal with me on my birthday, but not have time for a drink.

No words OP...I hope you have a lovely birthday with the people that genuinely love and care for you Hugs

Your parents really are Scum OP.