What do you make of this DM story

[Stepmum3]

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6561079/Millionaire-reveals-moment-doctor-told-father-three-adored-boys.html#comments-6561079

Basically a man finds out after 21 years he couldn’t of possibly fathered his three boys he knew as sons due to being diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. Then sued his Ex wife for the CSA and walked away with 250k. He had paid her 4 million and maintenance following their divorce. Two of the boys no longer talk to him 1 saying if you sue mum I won’t talk to you again.

I get the anger and hurt caused by this however the value of the boys he placed at 250k. What will the money bring back I feel nothing. A real sad story and upsetting for all involved. Although, I do think the wife is a bit of a cunt.

There were a few lines that raised my eyebrows, like when he said his eldest son took the news of his CF diagnosis "surprisingly calmly". I can understand him having a lot of anger to wards his wife, but he sounds quite passive aggressive towards at least the eldest boy too.

If she's truthful in that she used condoms with the other man and presumably not with her husband, perhaps she did think he could be their father.

She made her choices, and if she loses all her money I have no sympathy. But he also made his. He was still very wealthy (£10 million from buying a few shares in a friends' start-up is amazing good fortune) and £250,000 back is not much more than a token. If he could go back, I wonder if he would just not say anything...

Only on MN would posters try and turn this in to the mans fault.Theres only i person at fault and thats the mother.She should have thought of her kids feelings.She is the one that lied to them.

Hes right to sue her,and i read it as its not so much about the kids its about the deceit.And how she thought she would get away with it in this day and age.

If only one child wasn’t his then I could maybe understand but the fact all three children have the same father shows she knew exactly what she was doing. She went back to him for more children who were biologically related to each other.

I also wonder if someone was going to run the story anyway and he decided they may as well hear it from him rather than rumours and ‘sources’. Otherwise why go public 2 years after the fact.

£250,000 back is not much more than a token. If he could go back, I wonder if he would just not say anything...

I'm under the impression that in this case the monetary value is very much secondary to the legal acknowledgement of wrong doing.

His ex wife is an disgusting human being. Despicable lady and I don’t blame him for suing her. I would do the exact same.

why ar4net the boyds mad at their mum though-i get that it seems theyre dad who isnt now is mean tying to get money but she lied to them for all thse years how can they stand by her

Look at your kids. Imagine tomorrow seeing a doctor that gives you a quite serious diagnosis that also means your kids aren't actually yours(but definitely your husband's/ex). Not just that you find out you'll never actually have kids of your own.
Then come again and blame this man. Yes he hurt the kids and probably lost them, but I can't imagine going through that kind of pain,betrayal and anger. I also can't say with certainty how reasonable,sensible and "think of the greater good" my actions would be.

And so they can't call this woman a shameless grasping liar because it's too close to home

People always say this “oh you must be like that yourself then if you sympathise or see both sides”. Such a lazy and limited way to think. I’m not going into details here but you couldn’t be further from the truth given my own personal situation.

What she did was awful it’s trye but until I see the swathes of men who abandon their blood children and refuse to pay or support them in any way being roasted and vilified as much as the far less women who behave as badly then I might be a bit more sympathetic. All three kids have nothing to do with him, apart from the occasional text message. More to this imvho.

He's a millionaire, and apparently founded "compare the market" so he didn't need the £250K that he won back from the ExW. It was a bit petty and resulted in 2 of the boys not wanting anything to do with him. Such a sad story.

The whole thing is his ex-wife's fault, she started all of this. I do realise that on MN women are hardly ever wrong and their behaviour, however abhorrent, can be twisted but in this case she is 100% wrong. However wealthy he might be he is entitled to money from her, even if it leaves her in a cardboard box.

However wealthy he might be he is entitled to money from her, even if it leaves her in a cardboard box.

No he isn’t. Legally she was entitled to half the marital assets accrued in the time they were legally married. Like it or not.

As a mum to two kids, I can't even begin to imagine how it must feel to years down the line be told they're not yours after all.
She's a foul individual. How can anyone do that to another person?
I'm with June on this one.

Good post by wilting flower. It seems like the wife possibly knew all along he was not the father because of her request to chose the Jewish middle names ? But as he is very wealthy I think in the circumstances he possibly should not have sued and paid the solicitor fees into a savings account for the boys as none of it is their fault . I know he is bitter and I don’t blame him but he could have afforded to be the “bigger person” in my opinion.

so lying is ok then carol take money in a divorce settlement for years of bringing up someone elses children

and noones legally entitled to half automatically it doesnt work like that

*Only on MN would posters try and turn this in to the mans fault.Theres only i person at fault and thats the mother.She should have thought of her kids feelings.She is the one that lied to them.

Hes right to sue her,and i read it as its not so much about the kids its about the deceit.And how she thought she would get away with it in this day and age.*

This! All the fluff about 'they're still your kids no matter what'. No, they're not, because he didn't volunteer to foster or adopt, it was put on him through deceit.

Assuming the Daily Mail has reported the story accurately; then the man is a fool. Understandable that he was hurt and shocked but those boys were his sons - legally and emotionally. He's thrown that away to get revenge on his ex-wife plus £250k from her. So now he's a multi-millionaire with an extra £250k but he's also got a life-limiting condition, his second wife has a life-threatening illness and he's lost two of his sons.

That's a man's pride for you; he was willing to humiliate and hurt the young men who called him dad.

He won the money because of the maintenance aspect I think , so he got back what he was entitled to , but lost the relationship with two of the boys . He was paying for their education I think . And she won’t be living in a cardboard box as it appears she has a new relationship and is well off.

Gabs they were married. They built a life and assets together and as I said, it was what was accrued during the marriage she is entitled to and what she’s done does not change that. He got back what he paid for the children I believe and that was right - legally. She kept the rest of the assets awarded to her in relation to her time in the marriage - legally. Luckily legality prevails or some of you would have her begging in a ditch in rags.

As I said until I see this level of vitriol and demands they should have NOTHING aimed at fathers who abandon their children then I won’t join in with the witch hunt.

Was he awarded the money? I thought it was a settlement agreed with the ex. I wonder what a court would have ordered in this case.

I feel sorry for this man. It is easy to pronounce on what the right response to this situation should be when you are not the one experiencing it.

It's a very sad story and the sons are bearing the brunt.

The woman is just awful and I think I would cut her off if she was my mother. Infidelity happens nobody is perfect but a 20 year affair , she couldn't have had a clue who the father was. A narcissist of the highest order and she obviously just viewed her husband as a meal ticket.

I don't blame him for suing her but it's cost him the relationship with his sons and he must surely regret that?

Actually the £4million she got included fees for their private school until they finished school. In no way would £250k cover that and the £3k a month maintenance that he paid her for the 10+ years after their divorce and before he found out about it. So no she shouldn’t have been entitled to so much as they were not his children to pay school fees for unless he willingly knew and did so.

At the end of it, he's right to aim back his CMS payments and sue her for paternity fraud as she has commuted that.

They aren't his children and yes it's sad they've all been lied to, but he isn't responsible for them.

He'll probably get his name taken off the birth certificates as part of the fraud case and then truly will have no legal responsibility for them.

I feel sorry for him.

The whole story suggests he’s lying. It’s just not possible to be diagnosed with cf that late in life (even mild cases). My guess is that he always knew he had CF, they used a private sperm donor, and when he met his fancy woman he decided to plead ignorance. Never believe what you read in the DM.

People return to court over the financial settlement from divorce for much less than this.

I think he had every right to although financially I don’t think £250,000 would have made much difference to him and I believe this is what they agreed before it got to court. It would have been interesting to see what would have happened legally if it had got to court.

I couldn’t help thinking how nice and ordinary she looked. I know that is daft but it made me think how seemingly normal and average people have such complicated lives.