What do you make of this DM story

[Stepmum3]

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6561079/Millionaire-reveals-moment-doctor-told-father-three-adored-boys.html#comments-6561079

Basically a man finds out after 21 years he couldn’t of possibly fathered his three boys he knew as sons due to being diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. Then sued his Ex wife for the CSA and walked away with 250k. He had paid her 4 million and maintenance following their divorce. Two of the boys no longer talk to him 1 saying if you sue mum I won’t talk to you again.

I get the anger and hurt caused by this however the value of the boys he placed at 250k. What will the money bring back I feel nothing. A real sad story and upsetting for all involved. Although, I do think the wife is a bit of a cunt.

Divorce out of the question.

It might've been hard,complicated and even traumatic. It could've meant her losing out on the business and money/income. But it was possible.

It's definitely possible now and they're still married.

They did divorce, he appears to have remarried. Those poor children, what was she thinking palming two pregnancies off on him.

@madmum5811 that was a reply to another poster about her friend. Sorry should've made that clear.

@Oliversmumsarmy theres a difference though the woman had a choice to leave.But didnt,she chose to stay and have someone elses children.

The man didnt get a choice.And what would you do if your dh lied to you about something that was so important.
Wpuld you say " its grand doesnt matter a jot."

20 years is a long time.He maybe passed up oppurtunities because of the kids.Kids that werent his.

Jesus fucking Christ. I knew there were some scummy morally bankrupt people on here who are incapable of empathising with people who don’t share the same genitals as them on here, but this thread takes the fucking biscuit.

And I don’t know what thread the pious ‘nobody is supporting his wife’ posters are reading. Have they missed the posts twisting the entire situation so it becomes a woman trapped in a loveless marriage desperately seeking solace from an abusive and miserly husband? Or the ones where he is accused of lying about the entire condition?

That they were married for seven years without conceiving so he must have known and willingly agreed to her conceiving with someone else? Have you people never heard of contraception? It’s not banned for married people. They might not have had an active sex life.

Or the posts where people are saying he must have been cheating with his current partner or ‘had his eye on her’ when he left his marriage and therefore is assumed to have been having unprotected sex with her from the day his previous marriage split up?

School fees are irrelevant and he most likely paid them himself or had put them in a trust for the children so they’re highly unlikely to be included. I don’t see why he would pay them via his wife, particularly when they are tax deductible and he’d want to be sure the money was used for exactly that purpose.

He hasn’t disowned them, he says he wants a relationship.

If a partner did this to me I’d want to blacken their name and shout from the rooftops what a liar they were. Why should she get to pretend to be the perfect doting respectable Mum after what she did? I’m sure there are quite a few children out there who might prefer if their mothers hadn’t cited their father’s infidelity in court cases. I can’t imagine many of them getting a lecture on here about how they should have put up and shut up for the sake of the children. The money is a token amount, it’s clearly about the principle that she doesn’t just get away with it and carry on like normal.

There are also quite heavy hints in there that at least one of the children already knew he wasn’t the father but had kept quiet about it. The eldest had very little reaction to being told the man he believed was his father had a serious, life limiting genetic illness that would impact hugely on himself, his own fertility and his children. And then he pre emptied him saying that he wasn’t the father, refused to have a DNA test and tried to emotionally blackmail him out of suing her.

And yes she did prevent him from getting an earlier diagnosis by hoodwinking him into thinking he was fertile when knowing he was infertile may well have led to a much earlier diagnosis.

It’s just unbelievable. People on here shout LTB if a man leaves an unwashed spoon in the sink but apparently a woman can deceive a man for 20 years about his children’s parentage, dishonestly extort money and knock years off his life span and she’s just giving him what he deserves?

FFS. Have a word with yourselves.

Not condoning what she did but how was she to know that the children were from the affair.

You see, there’s this mad thing lots of women do. When we tell someone we’re in a monogamous relationship with them, we actually are. So when our kids are born, we know who their Dad’s are. Mad isn’t it?

And those of us who aren’t sure, maybe we had a couple of one night stands to close together, that sort of thing: well then we’re honest about it and get it all nicely sorted out when the child is a few weeks old so the child knows who its father is and doesn’t get it sprung on them 20 years down the line that it’s someone else. Crazy, huh?

Turning this around there could be some poor woman married to a man who has fathered three children . Its a heck of a mess.

The ex-wife and all the boys have refused to comment on the story. We only know his side of this. He’s had some time to come to terms with this yet publishes the boys’ faces all over the paper. He’s a knob!

The other woman I know who did something similar with one child for 11 years ended up in prison.

"1. On 24 January 2012 at Mold (Caernarfon) Crown Court pleaded guilty to and
were convicted of three charges of obtaining a money transfer by deception and
2 charges of dishonesty making false representation to make gain for
self/another or cause loss to other/expose other to risk and on 17 February 2012
you pleaded guilty to and were convicted of ten charges of obtaining a money
transfer by deception, for which on 29 March 2012 you were sentenced to 20
months imprisonment on each charge, to run concurrently."

My grandfather left his wife and two children for his pregnant 20 years younger mistress. It destroyed his wife's life and severely damaged the children. This was the 1920s, to lose your husband was shameful and Your Own Fault. The mistress died young, leaving young teen twins and a 5 year old. Thereafter brought up by first family. Hellish for everyone concerned. A dna test a couple of years ago confirmed that her 3 children were fathered by someone other than my grandfather. Every so often, I think of my mother's and grandmother's lifelong unhappiness and, a hundred years later and 2 generations away, it can make me furious that people can be so deceitful. A lifetime of deception and beyond. I'm not surprised that this husband's pursuing a scorched earth policy. What has he got? A terminal illness that will shorten his life. His wife ditto. No children. No family and 20 years of betrayal and lies. He's got a lot of money? So what? That's all he's got. I doubt it gives much comfort.

That article by Sarah vine is good - she's right "you're either in or you're out" he wants it all ways. He's not only not considered but had deliberately dismissed the feelings of the INNOCENT young men involved. His anger and desire for revenge he's allowed to override any love he ever might have had for them.

Genevieva - could not disagree with your post more. His health is his responsibility nobody else's. After 7 years of no conception geez after 1 most people would be investigating why if they were genuinely interested in being a parent, certainly if they had health concerns. He also took that knowledge into the 2nd marriage AND with wife 2 not conceiving within a year and their both being older with declining fertility especially (but not only) for her if he'd really wanted kids with wife 2 he'd have investigated much earlier. No, this all smacks of someone who loves money more than people - even the young men he raised from birth!

Shatnerswig we don't know that the sons don't who the bio father is, just that the ex husband doesn't.

We also don't know that the sons haven't fallen out with or at least had some very strong words with their mother regarding the whole mess. Entirely possible and understandable if they're equally pissed off with both parents.

"If you sue mum I'll never speak to you again" doesn't necessarily mean they're on mums side. Could well just mean 'if you publicly, legally deny me as your son then that will hurt me too much and I will never speak to you again' PLUS remember we only have masons word his son even said that!

Morehairy - lashing out - understandable but momentary reaction. This has gone on for at least 2 years and now he's writing a bloody book about it?! Why? What purpose can that POSSIBLY serve? He doesn't need the money he's doing it purely out of revenge with no consideration for the 'children' at all!

And I suspect the "reward" for information on the bio father is so he can sue/name him too. Again nothing but revenge. Yes this guy slept with someone else's wife and that's a scummy thing to do, but he wouldn't necessarily know they were his kids until now! So what's he gonna sue him for?

"Impossible, but, if it were possible for the situation to be reversed, how many women would sacrifice a relationship with children built up over 20 years? For £250k and public revenge? Not many I think." Agree - but not just women either. As stated in the article it's very rare for such cases to be pursued yet it's quite a common scenario. I strongly suspect because most in masons position feel just as angry and hurt - but their love for the children/people they raised believing them to be genetically theirs outweighs their need for revenge.

"Only on MN would many posters twist this around so many times to somehow make out he is awful and she is ok." No most of us are saying they BOTH have behaved appallingly and our sympathy is with the 3 "boys". Not with either parent.

Oliver'smumsarmy - sorry but I don't believe she couldn't have left. My mum was (and still is in some ways) a victim of DV and abuse in the 70's and 80's and definitely could have and had opportunities to leave my dad, even to get us away from him, which she CHOSE not to take. Actively going back to him despite loads of support to leave. If your 'friend' had enough freedom to have an affair she WAS in a position to leave. Many women do and have in worse situations.

God this is an unpleasant thread.

Maybe you should hide it justmabel?

Well said Augusta.

Pity there isn't an applaud emoticon here.

As stated in the article it's very rare for such cases to be pursued yet it's quite a common scenario.

No it’s not. It’s thought it might be quite common and estimates have been made, but there are no reliable statistics or definitive studies. It was estimated that 10-20% of children did not belong to their claimed father, but that was lowered to 1 to 2 in 100 with further research.

But the overwhelming majority of cases will never be exposed and neither father nor child will ever know.

Those where it is discovered are far more likely to be short term non committed relationships where there is always some ambiguity about potential paternity.

For this number of children to be passed off for this length of time to be exposed as not the claimed father’s children is highly, highly unusual. And for deceit delaying the diagnosis of a life shortening illness to boot is practically unheard of.

It’s not a common scenario. There aren’t hordes of men across the country with clutches of children they know are cuckoos staying shtum about it.

Not least because if this was genuinely a widespread problem, I really can’t see it being something that the MRAs wouldn’t be weaponising.

It really is very unusual for something as long term and deceitful as this to be exposed.

Agreed Augusta.

But the overwhelming majority of cases will never be exposed and neither father nor child will ever know.

Over the next decade or so, with more and more people using the likes of Ancestry and 23andMe, I think this is about to change...

I’m not sure. I think that those kits do tend to deliberately shy away from giving DNA in a format that could alert to it.

Firstly you’d have to compare it directly to the father’s, secondly with recessive genes and inheriting a random 50/50 portion from each parent, I think it will still stay relatively rare for it to be exposed via those tests interpreted by laymen. I’m sure it will expose a lot more than now, but still not that many.

I’ve always had a gut feeling that the amount is overstated, particularly in these days of contraception and relaxed rules about sex outside marriage and women having the ability to leave relationships and move into new ones fairly easily.

Plus I’ve never really known that many women be promiscuous.

But maybe that’s coz me and my friends are boring and there are a lot more women out there getting a hell of a lot more action than us.

I'd argue even 1-2% makes it a fairly common scenario (unwittingly raising another man's child)

As for the comments on commercial DNA testing you may well find the thread on this interesting.

Already in America there's support groups for people who've done these tests and discovered they're not genetically the children of who they thought they were.

I've certainly heard of enough cases in real life and reading online about people discovering such information that it makes me think it's certainly not uncommon.

Commercial DNA testing is quite a new phenomenon and women who knew the potential fathers were similar enough in looks to think they'll get away with this likely won't have considered commercial DNA testing being popular or even a thing when they had their DC. Especially if they had them 10/15+ years ago!

His children wouldn't have cf unless their mother is also a carrier. So his eldest wouldn't have been 'hugely impacted' if he'd actually been his biological child. He would have been a carrier, as thousands of people are. No impact on fertility

👏🏼 Augusta

Graphista, 1-2% would make it relatively common. But 3 children and the deception continued for decades then discovered? That’s unusual.

augusta
🙌🏼👏🏽
Well said, the hypocrisy in some of these posts is amazing and unbelievable!

Well he's released another story today about how he is now being 'inundated' by offers from women all over the world. Maybe his wife (or others close to him) should gently try to steer him away from the media now.