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Original poster

What do you make of this DM story

228 replies

Stepmum3 · 06/01/2019 13:05

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6561079/Millionaire-reveals-moment-doctor-told-father-three-adored-boys.html#comments-6561079

Basically a man finds out after 21 years he couldn’t of possibly fathered his three boys he knew as sons due to being diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. Then sued his Ex wife for the CSA and walked away with 250k. He had paid her 4 million and maintenance following their divorce. Two of the boys no longer talk to him 1 saying if you sue mum I won’t talk to you again.

I get the anger and hurt caused by this however the value of the boys he placed at 250k. What will the money bring back I feel nothing. A real sad story and upsetting for all involved. Although, I do think the wife is a bit of a cunt.

OP posts:
hellojason · 06/01/2019 13:59

Might be going off on a tangent here but the wife got £4 million alimony/maintenance?!!!!!! Mind boggling.

DishingOutDone · 06/01/2019 13:59

So what has everyone taken from this, is it that he rejected the boys rather than saying look I'm your Dad and I always will be? Or did the boys say oh well our mum says you're not Dad anymore so we don't want to see you? (I'm talking about before the money issue BTW) - or did the mother deliberately turn the kids against their Dad, have they met their real dad and decided they liked him better?

If the boys rejected him his grief must have been appalling surely. But ultimately, the wife is despicable. I wonder if she ever apologised to him and her sons? Like "sorry I put you all in this terrible position I wouldn't blame you if you never spoke to me again" - that sort of apology?

knittedjest · 06/01/2019 14:01

the focus on blood relations and this is a shame as you don't need to be blood related to be a fantastic father

Some people do. In fact I would dare say that most people do. My youngest BIL was raised from the day he was born solely by a man who was not his father who later had his own biological child. He swears black and blue that he loves them both the same. And I know he truly believes that. But actions speak louder than words.

Tistheseason17 · 06/01/2019 14:02

I feel for this chap. He is clearly not all through this in his head based on his recent comments.
Turns out his ex wife insisted on specific middle names for each child indicative of their actual parentage. She then pursued him for money when they divorced to raise children that were not his, knowingly.
So he is angry at her and he is punishing her and there is an impact on the now grown up children. They are the true victims.
Who knows how to react unless you're in that position?

I suspect he and the sons will salvage something in the future, but yes, he has been phenomenally deceived. It was all 3 children, not like just one mistake!

InSightMars · 06/01/2019 14:05

Even if the 250k were just a token to him, if it made him feel better about having been duped into bringing up 3 children who weren’t actually his, then I guess it was worth it to him. Also let’s allow for the shock the CF diagnosis must have been to him this late in life compounded by find8ng out his sons weren’t his?

It is sad that the sons have gone nc but it’s also sad that they make allowances for how hurtful and devastating the massive deception their mother perpetrated must have been and compounded with a diagnosis of CF, bloody hell that’s huge. The fact is he has financially supported her and them their entire lives and I don’t think he’s resenting what he spent on them, he’s resenting being duped by her. Yeah, maybe it’s wrong of him to not just ‘let it go’ but who beyond a plaster saint really could? No, I get why he feels she shouldn’t just walk away Scott free - he’s human, he’s desperately hurt and he’s lashing back; it’s entirely understandable he’d want her to suffer at least some retribution.

silvercuckoo · 06/01/2019 14:06

@MadMum101
The award was for the CSA fraud, i.e. statutory child maintenance, which was obtained by claiming that he is their father, i.e. fraudulently.
Divorce settlement awarded by the court is a different thing, and takes all circumstances into account.

stuffedpeppers · 06/01/2019 14:06

The woman is a CU next tuesday - done and dusted.

He sued her to find out the truth because she was still insisting they were his?

She should be stripped of her assets - she committed fraud twice.

I feel very sorry for him and his children. She is scum and coming clean when asked might have stopped the suing but having to go to court to get paternity tests done because she would not tell the truth is heart breaking for all the males involved. With a history of cystic fibrosis in the family- it did matter to the children, in case they were gene carriers aswell.

Erokose · 06/01/2019 14:08

Kids are bluffing, when they need help with uni and housing they will make contact. Family break ups are horrible stuff.

CarolDanvers · 06/01/2019 14:17

Kids are bluffing, when they need help with uni and housing they will make contact.

Doubtful. Mum and her new partner are very wealthy in their own right.

lizzie1970a · 06/01/2019 14:19

I feel so sorry for him. His ex wife is atrocious.

I feel for the boys with this being in the news but this man has been so hurt I doubt he's thinking straight. The eldest son should not have said if you sue mum I won't speak to you again - he should be telling his mother pay 'dad' back the money you obtained fraudulently from him. I hope they can have some kind of relationship.

I wonder if the biological father will come out of the woodwork. The mother won't be able to show her face anywhere - total humiliation. I feel so sad for the boys, innocent parties.

Ellie56 · 06/01/2019 14:19

I get that he is angry, but as a millionaire he didn't need the money, so why sue the mother and alienate and hurt his children in the process?

Jsmith99 · 06/01/2019 14:19

Kids are bluffing, when they need help with uni and housing they will make contact.

I agree. They are their mother’s sons, after all, and the apples don’t fall far from the tree.

shartsi · 06/01/2019 14:22

She is an awful person. Of course she knew he wasn't the father. We all look at our children and see their father or his family traits in them. Disgusting person.

silvercuckoo · 06/01/2019 14:25

Surely not in all cases? In that case you could have a child having maintenance from their father and a step father.
And this is perfectly possible. I know someone who was ordered to pay his step-child's private schooling fees as additional child maintenance after being married to the mother for 7 or 8 years, and it was determined by the court that he had assumed financial responsibility for the child's upbringing. The biological father pays CSA maintenance too, but at a ridiculously low level.

MynameisJune · 06/01/2019 14:29

The mum is wealthy because her exH made her wealthy. I have no sympathy for women like this.

DarkDarkNight · 06/01/2019 14:29

What a disgusting excuse for a mother. She has lied to her husband and children all those years. It is her the children should be mad with.

She very cynically engaged in a long-term affair and had children with a man she knew wasn’t her husband (I am assuming she did know her husband wasn’t the father because of the Jewish middle names and reluctance to Christen the children as stated in the article).

She shouldn’t be allowed to profit financially from her husband at all in these circumstances.

CarolDanvers · 06/01/2019 14:31

The mum is wealthy because her exH made her wealthy.

So you don’t agree that marital assets are joint then? And that what was accrued during the marriage should be split equally?

CarolDanvers · 06/01/2019 14:32

They are their mother’s sons, after all, and the apples don’t fall far from the tree.

Wow! That’s a really awful thing to say actually.

BartonHollow · 06/01/2019 14:35

I also found the diagnosis so late odd but also

He should have got £4,000,000 back off her and she should have received a prison sentence because her divorce settlement was fraud and she knew that even before it began so it's intentional large scale fraud, because it's not as if we're talking about a couple of hundred a month if you're lucky, their divorce made her an independently wealthy millionaire and not just the wife of one

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 06/01/2019 14:36

the focus on blood relations and this is a shame as you don't need to be blood related to be a fantastic father

It’s very easy to say that when you haven’t been the one deceived for nearly two decades. All well and good entering into a parental relationship when you know you aren’t related to the children, but to have that forced on you with all the dishonesty of a long running affair, and then being judged for being devastated when you find out? No, that’s unfair.

The mother should be ashamed of herself- she had years to come clean and be honest with her sons that their father wasn’t who they believed.

Pachyderm1 · 06/01/2019 14:40

Everything about this is sad and both this man and the mother of those boys are revolting little shits. Those poor kids.

BartonHollow · 06/01/2019 14:41

Several people criticising him and defending her on thread makes me wonder :

If they would do the same if £4m was on the table

They have deceived a DH/DP as to their child's parentage both during and after a relationship

And so they can't call this woman a shameless grasping liar because it's too close to home

MynameisJune · 06/01/2019 14:44

@caroldanvers no when she purposefully deceived him for all those years I don’t think she had any right to anything from him.

Fluffycloudland77 · 06/01/2019 14:45

I thought very badly of her cheating on her dh like that. I’ve no time for anyone who cheats on their spouse.

strawberrisc · 06/01/2019 14:47

This must have also been an incredible blow for the children too. Yes, Mum is a twat but going public with the story has hardly helped to continue a relationship with the children he raised as his own.