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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give it to her? CF?

150 replies

SpangledPants · 06/01/2019 08:00

Had to NC for this as it's really outing. I work for a top company who provide a very £££ exclusive luxury service. Every once in a while (like maybe once a year), as a random bonus, we are sometimes offered a (specific timeslot) freebie to enjoy these services ourselves. Having been in this company for 15yrs the novelty of a freebie has worn off a bit and we are free to offer it to close friends/relatives. Before xmas my best friend heard I had a freebie and asked if I would let her have it? I was ok about this but it necessitated handing her an electronic keycard. Over the Christmas period I tried to drop off this card but the family weren't home. On a separate day I phoned up but got no answer so I assumed (wrongly it turns out) that they'd all gone away. I then get a txt from said friend asking to come & collect the card. I replied that I'd tried to get in touch twice over xmas to drop it off but hadn't found her home & that the card had now expired. I'd need to go into work and ask if they'd allow me to have it renewed? (this isn't always possible due to scheduling). Anyway, in the middle of the night last night I got woken by an arsey text about said friend having not gone anywhere during the holidays & having been home all the time. Hmm Like she didn't believe me. She's not the drinking sort but I wonder if she was drunk last night because the message was out of character. It left me feeling a bit pissed. This is a gift, not a right and I tried to deliver it twice. I'm being (indirectly) accused of lying & she's waiting for me to renew the key. Aibu not to hand it over now? I don't want to spoil a previously good friendship but I'm feeling unappreciated here. I don't even know if it can be renewed now due to scheduling.

OP posts:
BeatNickBeamer · 06/01/2019 08:02

YANBU to be annoyed, why didn't she contact you over Christmas rather than wait for you to do the legwork? She's definitely being a CF for getting arsey about something that was a nice gesture in the first place.

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox · 06/01/2019 08:02

Don’t even bother trying to renew the card and don’t bother answering her text. It will all blow over but right now she is being a dick.

puguin86 · 06/01/2019 08:02

YANBU. How entitled of her!! Tbh she should have been going if her way to come pick it up from you earlier ... I'd just message back in Monday saying sorry it's expired.

Mmer · 06/01/2019 08:04

I would just tell her that your company wouldn't let you renew it.

Didntwanttochangemyname · 06/01/2019 08:04

'This is a gift, not a right and I tried to deliver it twice' is all you need to say to her, cheeky thing!
If I were you I'd lie and say the company aren't able to redo the card and she's missed the boat, then slowly reduce contact with her.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 06/01/2019 08:05

She sounds entitled and ungrateful - why are you dropping the card off to her surely she should be collecting it from you.
Anyway in the interests of not destroying a previously good friendship I’d just see first if it can be renewed and if it can I’d renew it and let her know when she can collect it from you.

ZoeZebra1 · 06/01/2019 08:06

Reply to friend "I went out of my way to deliver the card on X date and X date, it's a pain we missed each other and it's a shame my bonus was wasted. Obviously I was more than happy to offer my bonus to you because we are friends however due to scheduling I cannot renew the card."

strawberrisc · 06/01/2019 08:06

I love a CF thread!

She’s accusing you of lying. I’d be well pissed off.

ivykaty44 · 06/01/2019 08:07

Ok so your not the one spoiling a friendship
Your friendship will never be the same
So what is the point if you trying to recover a situation of her making?

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 06/01/2019 08:08

If it’s just a card why didn’t you just pop it in her letterbox? Confused Job done, problem solved. If it expired it would be on her.

Yes she was BU to send that message but I do wonder why you didn’t go for the obvious.

calpop · 06/01/2019 08:08

is there any reason why you didnt you put it through the letter box?

now id just tell her shws missed the slot

MrsExpo · 06/01/2019 08:08

Just tell her it’s now expired and can’t be renewed. Definitely don’t tell her when you get another one. She’s being a CF and YANBU.

dontneedthedrama · 06/01/2019 08:12

Just tell her can't get renewed.
Was there a reason you couldn't put through letterbox?

Gobbolino7825 · 06/01/2019 08:12

I can see that your friend is being a bit of a CF, but why wouldn’t you just text her to tell her to collect the card, or post it through her letterbox? She’s your best friend?

But yes, she should have contacted you to collect it but she wouldn’t necessarily know the card would expire. Hopefully she will apologise for being rude about it.

Original poster
SpangledPants · 06/01/2019 08:14

The keycards are valuable & for security purposes aren't to be left lying around where anyone could pick them up. They also have to be returned in a specific timeframe. I couldn't post it.

OP posts:
Gobbolino7825 · 06/01/2019 08:15

Basically you knew the card would expire - she obviously didn’t. She texted to ask to collect the card and you told her it had expired. I can see why she might be a bit miffed actually.

floribunda18 · 06/01/2019 08:16

It is entitled of her, but did you also try to contact her before delivering the item? Also if it's a card, I'd have just pushed it through the door and sent a text to tell her and when it expired.

Original poster
SpangledPants · 06/01/2019 08:16

I phoned her, she'd have seen a missed call from me & known what it was about. The mismatch in our timings isn't really an issue, people are busy over Christmas but there's no need to get arsey about it.

OP posts:
JanuarySnowdrops · 06/01/2019 08:17

She asked you for your bonus from your employer and is getting arsey because she wasn't in when you tried to do her the favour of dropping it off to her? Twice? Hmm

Tell her to fuck off. Or don't bother to respond!

ZoeZebra1 · 06/01/2019 08:18

Did she know it had an expiry date?

floribunda18 · 06/01/2019 08:19

There was no need to get arsey about it, but people are busy over Christmas as you say, which is why I'd have sent a simple text arranging collection or whatever and informed her of the expiry date, to save any hassle in the long run.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 06/01/2019 08:22

"Sorry, you were not in, the card has expired and I'm back at work so can't run round after you madam. End of, fuck her, finito, sayonara, b-bye.
Anyone else dying to know what the service is?

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 06/01/2019 08:22

Nah. She’s asked you for your bonus. A luxury. You’ve kindly said yes and given her for free what should be yours.

You tried. You couldn’t get hold of her. She accuses you of lying and getting arsey.

That would be it for me. Tell her straight or lie and say you can’t renew it depending on how much you value this friendship. But she wouldn’t be getting anything.

Is the friendship pretty balanced? If she had a bonus she wasn’t using would she give it to you no strings attached?

MoreCheeseDear · 06/01/2019 08:23

She could whistle for it were I you.

Sparkletastic · 06/01/2019 08:28

She'd get short shrift from me. Text along the lines of 'this was a favour not a entitlement' and leave it at that.

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