Am I the only one who thinks this assault is not ok

[BuffetTHEvampireSLAYER]

I am absolutely fuming.

DS 17 was on a night out and returned with a bruise on his face, when I questioned it he said he was messing around with his friends and he went to bed.

I have since had a phone call from his girlfriends mother who informed me that her daughter is pregnant and her husband punched my DS and she told me that he's lucky thats all he got

I woke DS up and he told me that everything's ok and I have to stay out of it.

I am obviously shocked if his gf is pregnant but i'm more worried about the assault that has occurred

What should I do

Goodness. I emphatically was not advocating booting anyone in the face. I was making a slightly piss-taking comment relating to the rather strange comments at the start of the thread. If you read the rest of my comment it's actually quite measured.

as her father wants

Those who think the police shouldn't be involved - would it be ok if the OP went round and punched the girl in the face?

It would not be ok. Neither is hitting her son. The police have to be involved to ensure it doesn't happen again. Her parents are totally unrepentant. Chilling.

At 17 you are old enough to fall in love and legally allowed to have sexual relations. They may love each other very much and they might both want this baby. Mistakes happen no matter your age. It is up to the young couple what they decide to do. It is not ok to punch anyone and the police should be informed.

Has anyone considered whether the girlfriend is safe? I would consider calling the police to check out that as well.

OP, this is a dreadful stuation.

Your ds has been assaulted. That is a criminal matter. However, he needs to make the decision as to whether he wants the police involved. If it were my son I would hope he would call the police because the gf father is completely out of order.

Your ds and his gf have equal responsibility on this. However, as others have said, his gf will end up with the majority of childcare so it's her decision as to whether she wants to keep the baby.

I think you need to support your ds and his gf. I'd also want to check if she's safe as her father is obviously violent.

I am obviously shocked if his gf is pregnant but i'm more worried about the assault that has occurred

Yeah, the bruise on your DS's face is the really dreadful thing in this situation

DS is 17 and two of his close friends have already had serious pregnancy scares with their girlfriends.

I can see how the sheer frustration of the situation might make a normally mild-tempered person go bananas. The OP's son's life is not going to be derailed, the girl's is.

None of that makes it ok to hit the bf.

OP, you should be more worried about the pregnancy, which could impact this young girl, your son, the GF’s family and yourself for the next 18+ years.

You don’t say what the family’s like? Is the father generally an arse or did he completely (and unacceptably) lose it under great stress? This is important as if they are violent, your grandchild could be growing up in a violent household.

As angry as you understandably are, you need to calm down, get to know the family and help your son and his GF make sustainable plans for their child, should they decide to go ahead with the pregnancy.

Good luck.

Congratulations on becoming a grandparent

Isn’t that a bit premature violet? Does anyone know what the girlfriend has decided she wants to do?

By the sounds of it. She's keeping the baby.
@PurpleDaisies

Lordy what a thread.

Pregnancy, even if undesirable. Isn’t an excuse to punch anyone.

I’m projecting massively, and the reasons for teen pregnancy are complex, however a significant driver for some teenage girls is a desire to escape from violent Home lives. I would want to know more about the family, and yes, I would consider reporting to the police because of the welfare implications for the GF and unborn child.

Assuming she goes ahead with the pregnancy, then all parties are going to have to attempt to form a positive relationship.

The father was out of order, but I don't see how pressing charges will help the situation. Maybe it was a one off incident out of anger, and hopefully today he's calmed down and will apologise. Still doesn't make it right, but I'm not sure pressing charges is the right thing.

Personally I would wait and see what happens next.
At the end of the day if the GF keeps the baby you are all going to be ‘family’ and for the sake of the child need to co exist for its sake. I know punching your son was not appropriate and I’m not saying he was right but it was a knee jerk reaction in the moment and may regret it now. After all we all all human and can do something (as a one off!!) that we are ashamed of.
I would give him the benefit of the doubt he may have regret. Again I am not saying he was right to do what he did but I can understand his reaction.
Let your son sort out the mess and as a mother support him, he will be anxious, upset etc about it all and will need your support not another thing to worry about. If there are no long lasting effects and it’s a one off, of the child is to be born I would brush it aside this once.

He didn't get his girlfriend pregnant.

THEY, together, had sex and have created a pregnancy. They are equal in this. It's not the boy's fault it happened. It's both of them, equally.

Of course no one should be assaulted over it. I can't imagine anyone agreeing that the OP should assault the girl for being pregnant with her son. So we shouldn't be minimising what's happened to the OP's son.

However I wouldn't report myself. I would leave that to the decision of the young adult, after sitting and having a long conversation over it, and over the pregnancy and what will happen next on that front.

Did the dad punch his own daughter too? As she is equally responsible. What a disgusting man. The sensible thing to do is for one calm level headed parent to sit down with your son and gf and go through all options.

By the sounds of it. She's keeping the baby.
@PurpleDaisies

Does it? The op’s posts say she is pregnant. Nothing else.

I'd be more worried that you had to hear about the fact that he is going to be a father from the girlfriends mother. Your son kept this from you, lied to you and is refusing to accept that he will probably need help with this. He sounds like a very immature and irresponsible child- no wonder the father was angry at him.I guess it was something which happened in the heat of the moment- I'd let it go if I was you- the police will be unlikely to follow this up if his only injury is a bruise. What about the girlfriend? She is equally responsible for this situation!

@PurpleDaisies
Well we'll just have to wait and see if @BuffetTHEvampireSLAYER comments and says different.
Until then. Nobody knows. 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

Your assuming an awful lot Fresta how do you know the Op,s son kept this from her and lied ,maybe they have just found out?

So the father punches Op's son & the mother says that he's lucky that that was all he got?

What horrible people!

Yes a shock for everyone-but it doesn't have to be the end of the world.

If contraception was being used to avoid pregnancy, isn't it likely that a termination will be decided on?

You don’t say what the family’s like? Is the father generally an arse or did he completely (and unacceptably) lose it under great stress? This is important as if they are violent, your grandchild could be growing up in a violent household.

^This. If he's the local Mr Fisty (and given the girl's mother's comments, it does sound like a family where a punch imay be seen as a reasonable response) that would make me more inclined to encourage DS to report the assault and to offer the GF a safe space to consider her options.

if contraception was being used to avoid pregnancy, isn't it likely that a termination will be decided on?

I dont think that necessarily follows at all.