To try and persuade DD to not get a tattoo?

[TurquoiseSeal]

DD plays a video game (a lot) and is almost 19. She wants her first tattoo and has had a design done which is literally a character from the game. As she's so young, it might seem cool now, but I really think it's the type you're going to regret, she won't play this game forever. She plans on using the birthday money from us (she is a uni student so doesn't have another way to fund it really) so I'm slightly reluctant to now give money on her birthday. AIBU to have these feelings and persuade her or?

It is cringe, but then being that judgmental about a persons appearance is always cringe.
I see it as each to their own, unadorned skin and greying hair is the choice of some and I respect that. However I expect the same respect for my purple hair and visible tattoos, otherwise yes I cringe for you, particularly if you appear proud of being small minded and judgmental.

"Well, that's how I've always chosen my tattoos. You can hate the argument if you want."

How can you possibly know what you might think/ feel in 20 years?

Also brb just burning my tattoo off because some "trendy, North London teens" (gag) think they're "naff". My life is over.

I really hate tattoos. I don't know why but they make me feel physically sick. My DD is only 11 but I'd be heartbroken if she chose to get one.
I'd think back to that perfect baby who needed no adornments to be beautiful and feel so sad she'd mutilated her body.
Over the top maybe but that's how I feel.

I'm nearly 30 and now getting all of the cool tattoos I got as a 19 year old lasered. Painful and expensive! Mine are all easily hidden though so haven't bothered me too much. If she is adamant, maybe try persuade her to have it somewhere discreet.

All my DD's have tattoos. They carefully thought about them and mean something to them. Certainly not naff.
It's their bodies, and not up to me to dictate how they live their lives, as long as it isn't illegal.
If I gave them money for their birthday, I would deem it their choice how they spend it. I don't give gifts with strings attached.

SusanneLinder

Do tattoos always have to mean something to be valid or taken seriously?

I see plenty women at the gym with dolphins or roses on their wrists or ankles, are these always hugely meaningful?
There must be a lot of women with an emotional attatchment to dolphins.

My son had a tattoo and randomly picked out a design from a book, his friend allowed the tattooist to choose the design himself.

I am sure some tattoos are meaningful to some, but surely that's not always the case?
I'm just suggesting that some people get inked simply because they like the idea of it.

I agree it's not up to me to dictate their lives but no way would I fund them to get a tattoo. I'm entitled to my feelings.

I remember those horrible barbed wire tattoos around arms and ankles in the 1990s. Awful.

What is wrong with describing people as trendy North London teens? Surely, trendy North London teens exist?

And I don’t get why all the gagging/cringing about them thinking tattoos are naff? Why the fuck shouldn’t they think tattoos are naff? Seems like a pretty normal thing for a MNer to report.

Get over yourselves. North London teens probably don’t like your trainers or your drink choices - but I’m sure you couldn’t care less, this is no different.

I'd think back to that perfect baby who needed no adornments to be beautiful and feel so sad she'd mutilated her body.

Imagine if she gets her ears pierced! 😱

I'm cringing at the judgment. I cringe at anyone who judges on appearance alone.
Trendy is a bit 80s....

BumDisease I choose subjects that I've always loved, like I have a tribal style raven on my back because I love ravens. I wouldn't go for a game character or a band name, I would go for a football club badge.

I think it’s perfectly ok to either love tattoos or hate them. People who have them probably dgaf what others think, and vice-versa.

I just think it’s weird to be proud of your adult children being judgemental towards all people who have tattoos, and for their mum to them claim that because her kids hold those obnoxious views, it obviously means tattoos are “going out of fashion”.

"I remember those horrible barbed wire tattoos around arms and ankles in the 1990s. Awful."

Because of course those are the only tattoos...

@Carrotss oh noes what if she wears ¥ gasp ¥ MAKE UP!!! 😮

If unmarked skin is a rebellious thing to do then it will happen

Things go in cycles and it's likely that tattoos will become unfashionable again at some point, but I don't think unmarked skin is or will any time soon be seen as "rebellious". Even now at what seems like peak tattoo culture, less than 50% of adults are tattooed. So the majority still do have "unmarked skin".

I was a North London teen once .

I was a South London teen and I would've got a slap if I'd used the word naff

Just make sure she Googles someone who's really good at the style she wants and books in with them. She may have a wait of several months if they're good enough. She's going to have it forever so make sure she goes to the best. I don't understand wanting a cheap deal on a tattoo.

Yeah same .

"What is wrong with describing people as trendy North London teens? Surely, trendy North London teens exist?

And I don’t get why all the gagging/cringing about them thinking tattoos are naff? Why the fuck shouldn’t they think tattoos are naff? Seems like a pretty normal thing for a MNer to report. "

If my mum had ever described me as "trendy, west Scotland teen" I'd have died of embarrassment. And it is entirely up to them if they think tattoos are "naff", a word I highly doubt aforementioned trendy teens actually use.

Finally, no one cares what they think, so no need for the smug attitude from the parent.

My personal opinion is that all tattoos look awful. However, if my child wanted one I wouldn't stand in their way. It's their life and the worst outcome is they have a tattoo they regret. It's not the end of the world.

I'm heavily tattooed. My mum took me for my first tattoo, i had gone on about one for ages, and I just wanted a simple one. My mum talked me through it, advised me on where I should get it as it was my first (my mum had no tattoos at this point).
Her theory for everything is, she would rather be open about everything and support my choices than to say no, stop me and have me rebel and go behind her back.
In my opinion this worked well as when my mum has said no in the past, I know it's because it's something I really shouldn't have been doing.
Of course I'm an adult now and know how to make good choices. Especially good choices about tattoos.

@thatmustbenigelwiththebrie

No, the worst outcome is they have a tattoo, love it, decide they want more and end up with two full sleeves and supermario on their forehead.

When I was 18 I was a naive idiot. I’m so glad my mother prevented me from getting a stupid tattoo that I’d have regretted. It was of something I was really into at the time, but which would now be considered to be very common and embarrassing. Perhaps at 23 or so a person can make a sensible decision, but not at 18.