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AIBU?

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Original poster

To try and persuade DD to not get a tattoo?

294 replies

TurquoiseSeal · 03/01/2019 05:10

DD plays a video game (a lot) and is almost 19. She wants her first tattoo and has had a design done which is literally a character from the game. As she's so young, it might seem cool now, but I really think it's the type you're going to regret, she won't play this game forever. She plans on using the birthday money from us (she is a uni student so doesn't have another way to fund it really) so I'm slightly reluctant to now give money on her birthday. AIBU to have these feelings and persuade her or?

OP posts:
FamilyOfAliens · 04/01/2019 23:21

My impression is that the tattoo fashion for the young is waning now

Can I ask where you get that impression from? I would the exact opposite is true (I follow dozens of tattooists on instagram and have a heavily tattooed DD).

WorraLiberty · 04/01/2019 23:47

FamilyOfAliens I have 2 teenage DCs (16 and 19) and there does seem to be a new way of thinking now that tatts are a bit 'naff' as 'everyone has them'.

OP, it's up to her what she does with her body and her money and if you give her money for her birthday, then it is hers.

WRT her not playing the game forever, she might see it as part of her childhood...in the same way some people get Winnie the Pooh or whatever tattooed.

FamilyOfAliens · 05/01/2019 00:00

Worra

As I said to a pp (but got no answer), what’s the basis for your view that tattoos are “naff”? Is it from your own DC and their friends? Bit of a small sample size if so Smile

NT53NJT · 05/01/2019 00:18

The vast majority of people who get tattoos don't get them because they are "cool" or "in fashion" they get them because they mean something to them and they like the look.

ReaganSomerset · 05/01/2019 00:30

@familyofaliens

I don't think Worra said she/he thinks they are naff, just that that's the way her kids seem to see them and that it is a line of thinking some younger people hold these days. I wouldn't worry about it, the teens in question probably do a whole host of things you would consider naff. It wouldn't do for us all to be the same. Smile

yikesanotherbooboo · 05/01/2019 00:45

Familyofaliens you were right to pick me up on my comment about tattoos seeming to be less popular with the young. I work a lot with teenagers and young adults and have three of my own. At one time new and planned tattoos were constantly being discussed and they no longer are. There are still some amazing designs being carried out but it seems to me that these are more on those with a really big interest rather than the rank and file. You are right though , my evidence is based on my corner of the world.

theoldtrout01876 · 05/01/2019 00:51

here is the insta page of the lady that did my Dds first tattoo. She was 18 when she got hers, and as our birthdays are 3 days apart she got me one too. This girl is so talented and her tattoos are BEAUTIFUL. My daughter who is now 22 has 4, all big and all beautiful.
My tattoo choice means something to me, its not random. The meaning is personal and disguised as a beautiful picture, it makes me smile every time I look at it.
Both Dds and my tattoo pictures are on the page I linked to Grin

dustarr73 · 05/01/2019 00:55

@theoldtrout01876 very pretty,just not my type.

Nat6999 · 05/01/2019 01:22

I can never stop my DS from having a tattoo as I've got one. He is already collecting pictures of what he wants when he is 18, I didn't want him to dye his hair during the summer holidays but he insisted on doing it, I spent 2 nights before school started stripping the remains of it out for him, as he has decided to grow his hair long, he still got pulled up at school as there were still hints of blue & red in his hair, short of bleaching it or dying it black there was nothing else we could do as he refused to have it cut short. As long as our children aren't out committing crimes or using drugs & turn out to be reasonably well rounded, caring & hard working individuals, who are we to complain?

MiamiLogic · 05/01/2019 01:38

My mum told me if I have the money to waste on a tattoo she will never loan me money ever again because I obviously don’t need support anymore. That was almost ten years ago and I still don’t have a tattoo despite supporting myself since graduating...

WhoTookTheChristmasCookie · 05/01/2019 01:52

@MiamiLogic that's awful.

I can't believe the amount of posters on this thread who openly admit to attempting to control their adult children purely because they don't like tattoos.
If the person in question is over 18 it's sweet fuck all to do with you whether they cover themselves in tattoos or not.
Using financial support (and threats to remove inheritance/gifts etc) is abusive.
The kids must be so passive to not tell you where to go.

WanderingTrolley1 · 05/01/2019 01:54

Yanbu.

I’d be so very disappointed if my DD came home with a “tatt”.

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 05/01/2019 02:00

cookie it is not controlling to NOT give money as a gift ffs. Any money given to a child over 18 should be considered a massive fucking bonus, the withholding of it could never be considered abuse.

JFC fucking breathing in the direction of your children is considered abuse by some people on here.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 05/01/2019 05:21

Of course it’s controlling to have conditions on monetary gifts. If you give money as a gift, it’s nothing to do with you how it’s spent. The moment you put a condition on it, then it become control.

Paddy1234 · 05/01/2019 05:55

Also I do agree with tattoos becoming a lot less popular now with the teens coming into adulthood.
As soon as 40+ get in on the scene and take it over for themselves it was always going to happen.
So whether or not I would be happy if my teenagers got one isn't relevant now as they are seriously uncool to them.
There are been a huge change in the last 12 months.

WhoTookTheChristmasCookie · 05/01/2019 08:38

@IAmAlwaysLikeThis that's not what I said.
Withdrawing a gift of money (that would've been given anyway) because the recipient has mentioned they might like to get a tattoo is controlling.

A bit like 'I'm only giving you this gift if you spend it on what I allow you to. If you don't, then you're not having it.'
Don't know how that can be seen as anything but controlling.

70sbaubles · 05/01/2019 08:55

They have a certain 'look' though. Can you imagine Kate Middleton sporting a tattoo? Or the Queen? Or Camilla? No chance because they look rough. They're either trampy or a sign of wanting to be a celebrity. Neither way are they representative of a classy or elegant style, they are limiting and people would judge a professional with tattoos.
Although this is MN, and everyone on here knows CEOs, judges, consultants and barristers with full sleeves and they are amazing Hmm

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 05/01/2019 09:45

^ has anyone ever not done anything because "what would Kate think?!" Hmm

And no, YOU would judge a professional, not "people".

MrsJayy · 05/01/2019 09:49

I bet Kate has a butterfly on her arse that only will knows aboutGrin

papayasareyum · 05/01/2019 09:51

I'm not keen in tattoos. When our eldest wanted one, aged 18, I was laidback about it and resigned to the fact that she was getting one. She wanted a character from her favourite movie and it was a very original design. She's an artist though and I knew that if the artwork was any less than perfect, she'd be upset every time she looked at it. Thank God she recently changed her mind (after paying the deposit, they refunded it)
I'm certain that if I'd been vocal about her tattoo, she'd have gone and got one anyway to spite me. I think it's better to be relaxed about it and even if she does go ahead, they're adults. They need to learn from their own mistakes. (like my friend who covered her first hated tattoo with two other tattoos and now has a huge weird inking on her shoulder which looks awful and is costing her a fortune in laser removal)
I sympathise though cos I'm really not a fan of tattoos and most of my friends who got them in their teens and twenties (we're all middle aged now) regret them or regret the design.

Biologifemini · 05/01/2019 09:52

Did you go grey young?
Tell your daughter she may be more likely to become allergic to hair dye if she gets a tattoo.
And I would pay her to wait until she is a little older. Some tats done young look daft.

Carrotss · 05/01/2019 10:17

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whiteroseredrose · 05/01/2019 10:29

@Umbongounchained

No, of course it's not true! DD doesn't particularly want a tattoo. She's only 15 and very sensible.

We've discussed the 'permanent' thing, which she understands. (She also knows that people writing on the backs of their hands gives me the heebie jeebies).

She was more concerned about her brother inheriting the lot than not inheriting herself!!

Krieger · 05/01/2019 10:33

Say how much you like the design and offer to pay for both yours and hers. In the same place. Might put her off.

whiteroseredrose · 05/01/2019 10:35

Like a PP, my daughter was looking at photos of me in my late teens and early 20s.My look was mildly gothic.

Now I'm 50 (in fact by my mid 20s) the style I liked was massively different. Think little Jigsaw suits and heels. Fortunately none of my teenage look was permanent so it didn't impact on my future choices.

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