Food addiction ruining my life

[EatingIssue]

My eating is out of control. I tipped the scales at 20st today. I suffer with stomach problems and even eat through insufferable pain and eat things that will have a dreadful effect on me and make me violently ill. The. I will eat it again. There are wrappers all around my bed shoved down the sides, hidden in my glove box. My knees hurt and I don’t recognize myself to the point it’s actually frightening and upsetting sometimes catching the reflection of the real me. Not to mention having nothing in the way of a life as I have pushed everyone away from me because of my embarrassment. I almost wish it was drug addiction because it’s less taboo and there seems to be help. I have no access to healthcare for this, be it therapy or weight loss surgery which I wouldn’t do anyway as I would just eat my way back to this as it’s obvious a deeper internal issue I’m guessing due to the compulsiveness of it and how I know I’m ruining my life and body but can’t stop.

As I don’t have access to healthcare can anyone please advice me how I can beat this myself? I get bursts of hope that I might one day get out if this hole so I don’t feel like a total lost cause. It goes back to my childhood, secret eating but at various stages of my life I’ve kept a semi normal weight. I’ve had long spells where I’ve been relatively normal but I don’t know where to start or how to get any semblance of normal back.
I would really appreciate any input at all. Thank you.

Ultimately its good old fashioned will power. I have to lose four stone. Nothing will change until you overhaul your eating habits. Start by binning all the shit and dont buy anymore.

Overeaters anonymous?

Or try the book "end emotional eating"

At the end of the day you need to feel how you feel without numbing out or punishing yourself with food. Incredibly hard though.

Good luck, you can change x

Hi OP,

I’m so so sorry to hear this and to hear how it’s made you feel

May I ask why you you don’t have access to healthcare?

If you’re based in the UK and a UK citizen (and if you feel comfortable talking to your GP about what you’re going through), the NHS will certainly be able to help for free until you’re recovered.

These links might also be helpful:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/binge-eating/

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/recovery-information/help-treatment

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/types/downloadable-resources

www.oagb.org.uk/

You feel worthless but you're not. You are worthy of love. You are harming yourself and punishing yourself. Look at eating healthily as a kindness to yourself and you deserve it. If you keep doing this there will never be a happy ending.

The nhs help? Your joking me

Overrated anonymous meetings or Food addicts meetings with AA meetings. Its a long old graft.

If you can't make it to a meeting, you can buy and download their materials and a diet free from sugar and flour are what FA recommends. If it's helpful I can try and dig out the FA plan I was given by my sponsor when i used to go

Hypnotherapy?

Seriously my Paul McKenna CDs are amazing. I had Stress, sleep & anxiety ones. Had to get a hypnobirthing one from elsewhere.

When my stress levels were awful, I was doing the CD every night.

Try it:
www.amazon.co.uk/Hypnotic-Gastric-Band-CD-DVD/dp/0593070747/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?ref=plSrch&keywords=paul+mckenna&dpPl=1&dpID=51C0UnUyf8L&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1546379883&sr=8-6

Ps I’m not on commission

Hypnosis or self hypnosis might really help you OP.

Hi op, I could have written this. To the pp who suggested ‘good old fashioned will power’ and ‘overhauling your diet’ I’m sorry but it is way more complicated than that. As someone who has lived with food addiction for a very very long time it is relentless. The compulsion to eat is so strong and it is constant. It never lets up. It is torture and it has nothing to do with ‘will power’.

Op all I can suggest is that I am going to try the exante diet (I am not affiliated in any way). It means replacing all food with their meal replacements which means I can abstain from food in the same way a drug addict can abstain from drugs. I think the Camebridge diet is very similar and you get one to one support. Hope this helps and I’m sending you big hugs.

@Tryingbutfailingmiserably

Ultimately its good old fashioned will power.

This is a really unkind comment, you should be ashamed of yourself.

It's not all about willpower. Often there are underlying issues such as self-esteem issues and/or trauma at the root of overeating.

OP, has this been a lifetime struggle or is it a recent weight gain?

I listen to this whilst dropping off to sleep, it's when your subconscious mind is most receptive.

Try it a few times a week and see how you get on!

doesn't matter if you fall asleep part way through. your subconscious mind will still take the message in. strangely the nights when I do listen the next day my appetite and food willpower response is much improved!

also watch this video, I love this guy

The NHS can help, you can be referred to an eating disorders unit, though waiting lists can be long.

I read a book called 'eating less' by Gillian Riley. It looks at weight problems from the perspective of food addiction. Lots of useful insights and strategies.

Definitely try OE anonymous - attempting it through willpower without addressing underlying causes will make you miserable and won’t be long term.
You can make today your last day of overeating and you don’t have to be 20 stone ever again which is a good place to start.

I don’t have access to the NHS unfortunately.

It’s not a new issue but it has spiraled out of control in the past year because I began working from home, ended a relationship and pretty much became a recluse. Said goodbye to the shame that has previously stopped me buying so many multi packs of bars and crisps in the local shop. Bought cheap tent like clothes every time I outgrew my more normal clothes.
I can’t believe how far and fast I’ve fallen down this rabbit hole.

I really appreciate all responses. I just felt I had to reach out tonight because I’m so desperate to overcome this or even get a bit of a grip on it and go back to being an “normal” overweight person.

The lack of healthcare is the real trouble. I will look into all the options, thanks again!
I like the sound of Paul McKenna, it feels deep rooted but I’ve had a much better handle prior to the past year.
I also like the sound of Exante.
Strangely I seem to have better luck with black and while strict meal plans than anything else.

I sympathise as I have similar tendencies. I decided last year I had to take control so read lots of self help books while going to Slimming World (in an effort to maintain healthy eating at the same time). Did well for about 8-9 months then fell off the wagon and stuffed myself until I had regained all the weight I'd lost
I have just started Lighter Life and have committed to do at least one month on total food replacement shakes (in the hope it will reset my appetite and reduce my dependence on food) while I do CBT and self help

OP, I would recommend reading Michael Mosley's book, The 8 Week Blood Sugar Diet. Don't decide that you're going to do the diet (or not), just read the book, and then decide whether you think it could work for you.

For deep-rooted eating issues, changing habits is key.

Diets don't work, sorry but neither do faddy books. There's so easy fix. Establishing a positive relationship and routine with food is key - it has to stop being the enemy as well as the comfort. Cook from scratch, and what you make should be super tasty too - losing weight doesn't mean living off boring salad.

I battled and battled with my weight, I went from obese to a size 10 so I do understand completely. It took me two years to lose my weight, but 6 years later it's still off and I love food again. I eat so much more now because it's good food, too! It changed my life, and honestly if I can do it, you can too.

That’s another thing, when I have followed low carb type diets before after I had detoxed the sugar or carbs or whatever, I had a lot of self control. At the moment I feel totally out of control if I had the money I would honestly be checked in somewhere.

Where did you start @troubled?
I really would love to resolve these issues from the root and don’t care how long it takes. I just can’t go on like this

Following as I'm in EXACTLY the same situation as well as being a wheelchair user so I can't exercise.

Overeaters Anonymous is absolutely shit. Full of religious culty weirdos.

NHS won't help. Refer to a nurse who gives a list of healthy foods and off you go.

Haven't tried hypnotherapy because I have PTSD and the thought of being hypnotised sends me into a panic attack every time.

It's a shit situation for which there is no support unless you have access to money, which I don't.

To the poster who said it's about willpower - how appallingly ridiculous.

How can you not have access to the nhs? If you are not in the uk, there must be some form of healthcare organisation you can see.

You can do it!

It sounds like you’ve had a difficult time last year.

Forgive yourself. A wise woman once said to me - if we spoke to others like we do to ourselves, we’d have no friends left. Treat yourself like a friend you are encouraging.

Also diets shouldn’t be a punishment.

Perhaps a hobby that gets you out of the house that is not food related to build your confidence up?

OP, do you know why you eat? It sounds as if it may be a coping mechanism for something. Finding out what that ‘something’ is and getting support for that could be a good starting point.