Food addiction ruining my life

[EatingIssue]

My eating is out of control. I tipped the scales at 20st today. I suffer with stomach problems and even eat through insufferable pain and eat things that will have a dreadful effect on me and make me violently ill. The. I will eat it again. There are wrappers all around my bed shoved down the sides, hidden in my glove box. My knees hurt and I don’t recognize myself to the point it’s actually frightening and upsetting sometimes catching the reflection of the real me. Not to mention having nothing in the way of a life as I have pushed everyone away from me because of my embarrassment. I almost wish it was drug addiction because it’s less taboo and there seems to be help. I have no access to healthcare for this, be it therapy or weight loss surgery which I wouldn’t do anyway as I would just eat my way back to this as it’s obvious a deeper internal issue I’m guessing due to the compulsiveness of it and how I know I’m ruining my life and body but can’t stop.

As I don’t have access to healthcare can anyone please advice me how I can beat this myself? I get bursts of hope that I might one day get out if this hole so I don’t feel like a total lost cause. It goes back to my childhood, secret eating but at various stages of my life I’ve kept a semi normal weight. I’ve had long spells where I’ve been relatively normal but I don’t know where to start or how to get any semblance of normal back.
I would really appreciate any input at all. Thank you.

Thanks names I actually did read about that last night! Particularly on MN it seems a real favorite. I’m a bit nervous it might be too intense at the moment but it’s definitely on the list for a bit further down the line!
Swimming is a great idea. Public swims near me are very limited but I might look into investing in a membership somewhere I would feel comfortable and actually go!

Thank you

There’s Pilates and yoga near me but I would be terrified I’d have to be airlifted out if I got muscle tangled up! I’ll look some up on YouTube though!

I set up a secret Facebook group that nobody can find or see. If anyone wants to join just send me a message and I can add you (I might need to friend you on Facebook but feel free to delete afterwards) if this isn’t allowed feel free to report/delete. I just thought it could be nice to have somewhere private to chat. Or if anyone knows any other way that’d be great too.

I feel really revved up. Thanks again everyone!

EatingIssue - I’m only about a stone overweight but I identify with a lot of issues raised in this thread. I too eat less over Christmas and even lose weight on holiday, as I snack less when other people are around. I try not to have too much chocolate in the house, but I’ll snack on anything I can find - eg grated cheese, bowls of dry cereal, bread. As I’m finishing a meal I’m already thinking about what I can eat next, so it’s nothing to do with hunger.

If I’m very busy all day then I don’t snack. However, I’m an introvert and associate being at home with being relaxed and happy, and for some reason that makes me want to eat when I’m at home, even if I’m only relaxing in the sofa for a short time. I think this is purely down to habit and it’s something I need to change.

I think we all need to identify our own triggers and work out how to best deal with them...

I struggle with this and my weight sometimes balloons out... especially when I'm anxious or tired I just cannot stop eating... even if its painful. I'll eat entire tubs of ice cream and entire loaves of bread, entire packs of biscuits in a matter of minutes.
I've managed it better at different times in my life. It's a bit bad right now as I've just had a baby a few months ago so obv am very tired and stressed so have ballooned up to 15 stone! But before I was pregnant i did manage to keep a stable healthy weight for a long time.
My top tips are making sure you eat a big filling breakfast that is also quite bland. Something like porridge. I found that sweet or flavoursome food would set me off eating uncontrollably.. the blander the food was the more able I was to eat normally. And being full and eating at regular times helps massively... if you try and skip meals or not eat enough then it swings back round and you end up binging. I found I had to stick very rigidly to a schedule of eating so I was never hungry. Dont forbid yourself anything because again that can make you swing back round and binge but do not keep sweets and crap in your house. If you want something sweet go out to the shop and buy 1 item and eat it before you get home. And make sure it is not just before a meal time as you may end up falling into eating loads of crap instead of eating an actual meal. It does take some effort but it's so much easier to deal with when you are eating regular filling large bland meals.. because you are full and not overstimulated by sugar...

It's also useful to sit down and have s think about triggers.. what emotional state are you in when you binge and why? If you can identify some emotions and/or situations that regularly cause you to binge you can try and prepare for those situations in advance or try to avoid them. Distraction is also really helpful... mild exercise is a good one for example...if you feel like you want to start eating when you know you've actually eaten enough, then do something physical to distract yourself like go outside for a walk... and just walk around until you are tired and the initial feeling has passed.... you might want to look I to things like mindfulness which can apparently be helpful in the same way

Hi EatingIssue My story is very similar to yours in that I spent years binge eating, my every waking thought was what I was going to eat for my next meal. I gained so much weight it was disgusting. In the end I developed type 2 diabetes and tipped the scales at over 30 stone. I joined ww and lost a couple of stone and then I knew that I had to get active if I was going to lose weight. I started by walking up a hill near my house, then I did the couch 2 5 k plan, I wasn’t really running as I was to heavy but it definitely helped. I have to stay active as I still love food, I still constantly think about food but now I eat healthy food not biscuits and crap. So far I’ve lost over 14 stone. I’ve still got a long way to go to my goal but I find a lot of help on Instagram. There’s a huge weight loss community there. I’m happy to chat more or join your fb group x

@WhatALump

You have done so well. I hope you are enormously proud of yourself.

@WhatALump

And if your user name is something you used to say about yourself then it's time for a name change!

@Scifi101 thank you I am immensely proud of myself. It’s been a 2 year slog not a quick fix and It’s not ever going to be over. I think there’s always going to be the possibility that I might slip back into old ways so I have to kee in top of things all the time!

Lol no my name is because of a hernia I have 😂

YouTube has got some really good workouts. I found some I like for each area, rather than one complete workout. I did arms and upper body, core and legs. I needed to start really easy, much easier than a regular one at the gym. I like fitness blender and body fit by Amy.

WhataLump

That is a phenomenal achievement!!! How has your headspace changed? And if you dont mind me to ask, how have other people responded to you about your achievement?

I think im a bit frightened of being thin.

OP Please watch this video, as it explains why people who have a large amount of body fat, feel ravenous all the time. Nothing to do with their faulty willpower but their consistently high insulin levels. Based a scientific research.

If you watch other videos by the poster you can find out more. Jason Fung MD also talks about it. He does not touch willpower in his book Obesity Code. It is biochemical processes in our bodies which drive appetite levels, satiety or how much fat is being stored. People who wheel out the willpower solution are just plain ignorant and make a person struggling with weight blame themselves, their faulty personality and their lack of moral strength while it is nowt to do with it.

OP This will help you accept the cause of why the weight gain happened and stop blaming yourself for it. It will also give practical tools to solve the problem and reverse the weight gain momentum.

People who consider excessive weight to be a moral issue, please watch this and educate yourselves.

YouTube: Fasting and the Fifty Percent Insulin Problem by Bob Briggs

However you go about change, ine thing I know it that it 100% needs to come from a place of self-love, not self-hatred.

If you set out with a mindset if “I hate myself I am going to change my horrible body” you will end up sabotaging your efforts and lose motivation the moment it gets hard, because you hate yourself.

You need to do it out of love for yourself. Love is strong, and overcomes obstacles. Start every day by writing three things you genuinely like about yourself.
Finish each day by writing three good things you did today. Din’t set the bar too high. Be kind and gentle to yourself as you would a child. That will give you the courage and inner strength to keep going when it gets tough. The knowledge that you’re worth it will sustain you.
Good luck

Nemo That is such a kind and clever post.

I've been asked on pm about my surgery. I'm going to link my thread as it's quite long (and old!). Hoping it might be of help.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight_loss_chat/1191101-Ive-just-had-a-gastric-band-fitted

Ah well I fucked up today. Ironically had to take my purse because I needed to buy fruit for the toddler... and also the discounted box (yes I said box) of liquorice allsorts for me feel a shocking failure. not even two days of decency can I manage!

Well onwards and upwards - Body Pump at the gym tonight and a new day tomorrow! At least it's not donuts

Namestheyareachanging. Don't worry about the sweets now. Next time you won't make the same mistake so lesson learned. I agree if it comes from a place of self love next time in the shop will be easier. Welldone on body pump.

Body Pump was harrrrd - I'm going to know I've done it in the morning! But I was actually quite impressed how much my poor abused body could still do - I'm certainly an achey mess but I made it through! Just imagine what I could do if I actually took care of myself!

That's great you went. I found when I did body pump (ages ago) the next day sitting on the loo was hard because of my thigh muscles! Yes exactly- imagine the difference it will make longterm.

This is a lovely thread! People being kind and supportive . Makes a change from all the LTB screeching! I just wanted to say OP that I’m cheering you on . You actually sound very savvy about your situation and not making excuses...which is an important part. I’ve been everything from anorexic to obese and back again so I know how hard it is. But we owe it you ourselves to keep trying. Good luck.

I’m sorry I’ve been AWOL, I feel as if I’ve been on a voyage of self discovery
Actually genuinely though!
All your posts have set a fire under me and I’ve been determind to unpick and especially those of you who mentioned self love. That really resonated with me. I always thought I actually had too much self love, as I “indulged” myself as mucj and as often as I liked. I never looked at all the negative horrible thoughts I had about myself daily or that my idea of motivating myself was to take hideous bra and knickers pics of myself and scrutinized how sub human I am.

I’ve taken a few small steps since posting and mainly thanks to all of you!

I invested, for the first time in an absolute age, in normal (albeit size 22 and 24) nice clothes that make me feel good and normal (albeit the obvious) I can’t believe how I had let myself go, weight aside. I looked through photos of myself from just a few years back before this all got so out of control. It really spurred me on and made me feel like much less of a lost cause!

I got a fitness tracker device thingy and walked about 8k steps yesterday and 15k steps today. I also got some CBD oil as apparently that can help with joint pain, I can’t actually tell if that works or not but no pain so far and I have a lot more energy from having got out in the fresh air and actually spent the majority of my day vertical when I’m so used to being horizontal!

I haven’t outright binged since posting as I actually haven’t felt the urge but my choices evein without the compulsion to overeat are diabolical because all I’ve known for a long long time is overdosing on utter junk.

Im just reading through all the posts since now

Wow, OP. Well done!

I truly wish I had your motivation and mental strength. I spent yet another day horizontal today as the pain was too bad to move. So fed up of this existence.

Another one here on the Same shitty boat. Following with interest. I'm 40 & life is good but I am disgusted with myself for keeping bad habits.

I have over eaten daily & also drank much alcohol, especially in the last few months. This is my first sober night in ages & hoping to turn things around & have better habits by the end of Jan. I don't know where this compulsion comes from but I want to treat my body better. I have young dc & if anything happens to me, I don't need the guilt of knowing I haven't been looking after my body the way I should for their sake.

Small steps - I am trying to lose half a stone & getting to 10k steps a day for current goals. Hoping for a few rips off this thread

Names, a packet of sweets is not the end of the world, slip ups will happen. It’s what you do after.

When my PT guided me ditching sugar it was a slow process, took several months. If your body is used to sugar fixes, it will crave them, it will drive you to gorge on sweet stuff. But you can trick it. Still have something sweet, but instead of bad bad refined sugar, it can be dried raisins and other dried fruit. Can be nuts, can be a piece of fruit. It will still be something sweet for you.

Unfortunately, it is impossible to be free from sugar cravings as long as you still consume refined sugar. It will soon spiral back.

What I found was I had to completely cut out rubbish, and I had a lot of dried fruit with my tea at first. But then I needed it less and less. To the point I can have a cup of tea on its own now and enjoy it.

Sugar is in every manufactured foodstuff, any shop bought sauces, bread, even things which supposedly are not sweet. It drives appetite to unnatural levels and makes us tired once the initial buzz is over. It sends insulin into overdrive and as long insulin is high, the body will not burn an ounce of fat.

Play it as a long game, it is an addiction, it will take persistence and time to conquer. But it will be so so worth it.

I do not enjoy shop bought cake/chocolates now and will happily pass them over. If I bake, I put a lot less sugar as I can’t stomach the ‘normal’ allowance. Best of all, hunger does not rule my life. Needs be, I will happily wait 2-3 hours even when hungry. It is not the same desperate hunger, it is tolerable.

It is liberating!