my local facebook community group is spectacularly idiotic today, is yours?

[GaryBaldbiscuit]

Just a few
Is the tip open today?
Are there any buses?
Are the doctors open?
Can I weigh my baby today?

To name but a few!

Just the normal stuff on ours, namely:
Is anyone else's internet not working
Does anyone know a make up artist who is definitely available on some random dates in several months time
Is the shop open
Is anywhere other than Mcdonalds open for breakfast
Stop driving the wrong way around the tesco car park
Someone giving away a tatty fridge
fencing or gate recommendations
Best Chinese take away that is open, takes card and delivers
Is the chip shop open
Various childminders advertising
Are any shops recycling xmas cards
There's a horse with a rug falling off

Apparently one for another semi local village has had 170 people moaning about Hermes not delivering today.

Lots of photos today of my “town through a lense”. Cue lots of pictures of mundane things and areas with heavy filters on to make it look faaaaaaaar more impressive.

Bit snobby but....

southendnewsnetwork.net/news/facebook-mums-group-launches-campaign-demanding-introduction-of-a-search-engine/

'Alfie, Alfie and Alfie'

I don't live in a village sadly

Ours had so many posts asking about loud noises/bangs were, that a spin off group was created. I can't remember exactly what it was called, something along the lines of 'Loud Bangs of Darlo' It's still a running joke on the page, along with 'blame the council' when something is going wrong, and 'put the market back in the market square' when asked for a solution to a problem. It's a right good yarn our page :-)

There’s an old dear on ours who replies to pretty much every single post so something like ‘has anyone been to the new Chinese that’s open and would you recommend it?’ would be replied with ‘I’ve not been yet but I remember when it used to be a butchers and they were always very friendly. Hope that helps.’ Or ‘has anyone seen my cat? It’s brown and I live on Town Street’ would be replied with ‘I saw a cat a while ago. It was black and white and near Torquay Harbour.’

Mine's full of the usual, but I was amused the other day when someone asked where they could get logs from and someone replied 'trees'
The only exciting/unusual thing that happens is that there is a woman in the village who owns peacocks and lets them roam, so we regularly have posts asking where the peacocks have come from, someone tags the woman and then she replies not to worry, they will always go home for their dinner

A person on ours has found a rat and posted a picture of it, asking if anyone has lost A gerbil/hamster. Cue hundreds of «that’s a rat « posts with the OP maintaining that it’s a lost pet and posting pictures of the rat being looked after until it’s owner comes forward!

Hilarious a rat!

Do you think Roger knows 'Old Lands Eye'?

I live for 'chester draws needs gone'.

Today's brilliant post was someone moaning about the (fantastic) local pub running out of food before she had arrived, having booked a table and she was complaining that no one apologised to her.
A few minutes later someone said "I think they did actually" and posted a picture of a sign outside the pub that they'd written especially for moaning customer.

It's usually full of lost things found, moans about the tube, people that lived here years and years and years ago posting really old pictures, a man with a massive collection of reptiles and nail bar recommendations.

We have some very funny trolls on ours, just the other day one posted to say they they'd heard that the shopping centre was going to be turned into centre for asylum seekers. The amount of people that believed it was hilarious 😂

*^

On our local fb site today someone posted a picture of a huge human turd that someone ( presumable a NYE drunk) had done on their doorstep ! Disgusting I know but actually made me feel queasy.

Oh and moaning about the council. So much moaning about the council and how shit they are and how they are only interested in their pay packets.

There was a 'has anyone lost a peacock?' on my local one a couple of days ago, along with a photo of said peacock.

I heard a theory that a lot of the more batshit conspiracy theories only really took off when smartphones became the standard. The theory goes that the people who are likely to believe all that rubbish were not capable of getting online otherwise. I think local Facebook pages support this idea. They don't use Google as they have no idea how to independently seek out the information they need so they are all on sodding Facebook instead.

judasprudy you may think the homeopath is talking shit but products on skin do get absorbed into bloodstream (nicotine patches etc) as skin is very porous, and Johnston & Johnston are facing several lawsuits in the US and elsewhere for knowing they had put potentially carcinogenic ingredients (including asbestos in talc) for many years. They've recently had to payout a huge amount to a group of women who sued for their part in their ovarian cancer.
It's well known in the beauty trade they've been trying to sit on media attention for the various lawsuits.
So her post is not as far fetched as you may think.

@whyamisoconfused yours wasn't stupid. This was Xmas day and in a tiny village. There was no way the chemist was gonna be open. They didn't ask for alternatives, just if ours was open.

Glad you got sorted though.

We have a local roaming peacock. People are always posting photos and asking if he’s lost. I think his owner lets him wander.

Ours is 50% people posting about what a beautiful part of the world we live in, how blessed we are, wouldn't want to live anywhere else, "BEST PLACE ON EARTH"... (with arty photographic evidence)..... and 50% people moaning about fly tipping, dog crap, fireworks, escaped sheep, and the local youths ruining the place and turning it into a "shit hole" (with very damning photographic evidence 😂) really opens your eyes to a wide variety of perspectives. This morning we had one person posting about their "lovely scenic walk through the town centre, and what a great start to 2019", followed by another post saying how disgusted they are that they've "just had to dodge piles of poo (dog I assume?), vomit, blood stained tissues, squashed kebabs and broken glass" as they walked through the town centre. Kind of sums it up 🤣🤣🤣

1. Fireworks - will someone think of the animals.
2. Cleaners - looking for new clients.
3. Lost cats.

Nothing exciting.

One woman on ours decided to post the Park Run should be banned as it was wrecking the local park. Not a wise move. She got torn to pieces.

I live in a village and our chemist was open for 2 hours on both Christmas Day and today. I found it a bit odd until someone said that there needs to be somewhere open for people coming off heroin to get their daily methadone! I must live a sheltered life as I wasn't aware of any heroin addicts around me

Oh and I reckon Roger is definitely a MNer...