my local facebook community group is spectacularly idiotic today, is yours?

[GaryBaldbiscuit]

Just a few
Is the tip open today?
Are there any buses?
Are the doctors open?
Can I weigh my baby today?

To name but a few!

My local mum group is the worst. Where can I buy paper? Um... shops??

@Sparklingbrook we had the facial question on ours a while ago and some of the replies were very funny. Not least because the op didn’t get what they were finding so funny.

Ours today has been the usual crap about what takeaways are open/moaning about fireworks/loads of missing dogs/found dogs/need a plumber ASAP.

Ours is just moaning moaning moaning about anything and everything. And a group of people who all know each other who tag each other as the "culprits" of whatever is being moaned about and all swear like the billy-o.

Missing/found cats/dogs/rabbits.
Lost phones/bags/debit cards/dignity. And a turkey crown.
Various pleas for last minute nails/lashes/brows.
A spectacular row about fireworks in a graveyard. I think that got out of hand and deleted.

Ours is full of MLM sellers, despite the anti MLM rule. When it’s pointed out to admin they invariably claim the shit that person is trying to sell, along with a call to join her team, is not an MLM scheme🤔

“Does anyone know which farmer owns the sheep which are out” always followed by a dozen “call 101” comments.

The fact someone has had a minor bump with another at a junction brings the “it’s a death trap!!!” comments.

We had the excitement of a helicopter search which was local page trolling gold. Best was when it was all over, someone posted “that’s it away now”. Really? Thanks for that, I wondered why the noise and massive searchlight had stopped.

I tend to avoid it mostly as it makes my inner grammar and spelling pedant twitch.

It was incredibly helpful when we were all snowed in last year though. Keeping tabs on where had the bread and milk was great.

We had a man telling us in great detail about the highlights of his year which included raising money for his bladder problems and then a long long list of his achievements such as running marathons and appearing on local news talking about his bladder problems ... I kid you not.
He claimed to want to know about our highlights of 2018 but I couldn’t compete

One of our local selling sites had this gem a while back.

That’s not nice Roger 😂

Roger you meanie

What take aways are open today?
Where can I get breakfast today?
Co-Op IS open today

I really just want to reply to most with lmgtfy.com

thats not nice roger

We have numerous firework threads, parenting or lack of, for young hooligans, aka teenagers, bins, Travelling community, shops open/closed including whether some have ceased trading altogether and fireworks (there appears to be an obsession with fireworks)

On ours this evening we had someone ask if any Indian takeaways were open tonight. They asked this an hour after a local Indian restaurant had posted saying they were open tonight. People can’t be bothered to check anything.

Our usual topics are dog sh*t, parking and the local thief.

ours has had requests for change, wanting to know where to buy big jars of pickled onions and eggs and the cost and complaints about a family putting furniture out on the pavement for the bin men to take away.

I'm Team Roger, even though that sounds vaguely filthy.

Ours is a bit of a shocker, tbh — people complaining about neighbours ‘stalking’ them by driving past their house slowly (30mph zones) accusing other neighbours of drink driving, alcoholism and even paedophilia.

Roger is my new hero

Roger you hero

Maybe we should reply 'that's not nice Roger' on a thread everytime somebody says something horrible

Ours has the near daily 'dog poo' rant complete with photographic evidence...

Mine are having a huge row about parking.
Half of them are outraged that traffic wardens have been out today and have ticketed the selfish wankers who parked on our narrow main road on the yellow lines despite the fact that there is a very large, free car park only a couple of metres away. Apparently this is deliberately nasty and a slap in the face for anyone who was “sensible and didn’t drive home pissed last night”.
The other half are correctly pointing out that new year doesn’t mean the basic traffic laws don’t apply but it’s all descended into a lot of mud slinging on both sides ;)

Roger has a certain style but he's no Marjorie Proops is he.

We have a school one that is three capital letters..whenever I see a notification I always think ...what are the fuckwits wittering on about now