my local facebook community group is spectacularly idiotic today, is yours?

[GaryBaldbiscuit]

Just a few
Is the tip open today?
Are there any buses?
Are the doctors open?
Can I weigh my baby today?

To name but a few!

Ignore my first post, turns out I joined the local swap/share rather than the community one. Joined my community one and the first post was "Has anyone lost a black and white cat? There's a dead one run over by a car on XXXXX road"

I'd have been SO tempted to make up fake lyrics to Old Land's Eye!

Does anyone else have a local "parking like a twat in TOWN" page? People take pictures of cars parked badly. People then tag the owners if they know them. Always worth a look!

We have a very bossy type that’s made it her duty to inform us of rubbish collection days and chide anyone that puts their bins out early.

I’m absolutely certain that therr are more than a few of us that are now doing it on purpose.

Yes, we have a “Bad parking in Village-name”, but the only person who ever posts on it is the person who created it. Because like, no one else is that daft.

Yes our local Tesco is always a target for a parking like a twat post. To be fair the car park is a pit of hell.

Top threads currently on our town one:

What can you recycle in green bins.
Local coffee shop only has one person at till & massive queue.
Looking for literature for diabetes sufferers.
Buggy fit classes in the area.
Holistic approaches to mind, body and spirit.

Top threads on our very local one:

What New Year resolutions are we making.
Find My Past.
Dodgy van, 'man dressed in full black hoodie tracksuit with hood up and hood tightened to hide face, ran out of the driveway of a house in darkness'
Old photo of farm.
Old aerial photo.

police have more important things to do than update Facebook about an ongoing incident
Oh I forgot, better still are the police FB posts of an incident or someone missing. There is always a bright spark who says “have you checked the CCTV” or “Did you ask the taxi driver where he dropped them off” or “police are so lazy just using social media to solve crimes” as if they get a report of a crime and just say “here you go Bev, stick this on Facebook, that’ll get it solved, I’m off for a cuppa”. I always imagine them reading it and saying “shit! CCTV, why didn’t I think of that”

Police Helicopter - why is it out? Pure nosiness Helicopter, or smoke seen from a big fire etc, always mask the nosiness with “only asking because I hope everyone’s ok”

team Roger! Love it

Various pleas for last minute nails/lashes/brows

Yes, this always surprises me - especially the "6am tomorrow" ones.

Can't believe no one's mentioned potholes!

Actually today's is quite sad because a well-known and much loved community figure has died.

There was a post about fireworks at 11pm, the other day, which I reported to admin as it got nasty, apparently it was in memory of someone who died

I like to report posts, about car park shaming

There was a post about rubbish being left by kids in a park, bottles,cans etc. People started picking on the woman who posted it, saying she should have put it all in a bin instead of posting on Facebook.
She then started calling the man who posted that a cunt and said it would be a better idea for him to stick the lot up his japs eye!

Oh and reports complete with videos of dodgy white vans driving slowly, including looking up their number plates, lots of messages about whether or not to call the police

Does anyone else have a local "parking like a twat in TOWN" page? People take pictures of cars parked badly. People then tag the owners if they know them.

Yes we have this - especially entertaining as the main roundabout in town has some weird road markings that look like - but crucially aren't - parking spaces. So they get parked on. A lot.

😂 😁 Japs eye

EspressoButler

We’ve had hunt day today too, same every year. I came off after seeing someone say ‘we all know animal cruelty is like a pedo’. The same poster had previously said they enjoy eating meat even deer as long as it’s killed right & she hoped when the horse got spooked the rider fell off and broke their neck

The ones I hate on our local group are "What do you think this rash is?" with a picture of a hideous close up of some red, inflamed skin.

Urgh! Go to a doctor!

Ours is quite amusing.... someone posted the other day about someone shouting "shut your fucking dogs up" over her fence as they were barking at them. Turned into a 50 reply rant about dog barking and how anti social it is when her NDN pipes up and says it was him and he was having a larf with a winky face. NDN said she was going to kill him, she'd just booked her dogs into training classes.

We also have the regular joys of binmen, dog shit, people driving slowly round the village and looking at houses (yes that would be the Amazon delivery people with their high vis jackets on) and the other gem of cattle scaring people walking their dogs and could the farmers please control them better

Mine is an absolute gem of a group. Never failes to amuse me.

"has anyone lost a cockerel? There's one stood outside of Lee's takeaway now" complete with photo of cock just standing there staring.

"has someone lost a peacock? I've just seen one walk past the shop' photos attached. Everyone responds" that's a Guinea fowl"

This has really cheered me up! I don’t actually “like” my town group because it is so pathetic but I do occasionally check it out for a laugh/cry. Usually it is full of apparent daily mail readers leaving ignorant comments. Then there will be the shared local news stories with lots of swearing about those involved. Today they are slating the police, saying they are lazy etc.

Often aggressive posts about “that cunt who cut me up today in the white Audi” etc and then full arguments about who was right and who was wrong.

Then to top it off, every now and then someone will post a rebellious “I love this town you lot don’t know shit” and a full scale row will shortly follow. Such a depressing read, which is why I can’t officially like it!

We have posts as well about if your head is hanging off should you go to the walk in centre, A and E, or phone the NHS direct number?. Then people start saying don't ring the NHS line because they did that and the advisor was totally wrong and the person ended up dying etc.

it’s everyobes group everywhere
oh and the parking ... dont forget the parking !!!!

but then again today a local town group did manage to track down one woman’s elderly missing father .. call an ambulance and reunite them even tho the bridge was closed fir the annual duck race !!! true story

Mine is adverts from childminders, New Years resolutions and some crap from a homeopath about how everything you put on your babies skin gets absorbed into their bloodstream so if you use Johnston's they'll come to some terrible harm.

We also had someone genuinely asking “does anyone know the actual words to Old Lands Eye”