To murder DH and my in laws in pregnancy induced rage?

[MrsHughGrant]

I've got hyperemesis gravidium. I've had it for 7 weeks and I'm in hell. Been signed off work, I vomit from when I wake up until I go to sleep. I've been in and out of hospital. I'm on medication now but I'm still sick constantly and I'm so tired and I just have no energy.

DHs extended family all came over for 5 nights over Christmas, it was pre-arranged, Christmas and I battled through. I didn't stay in bed and mope I showered and put makeup on and tried to be a good host despite how awful I felt. Played with the kids, cooked for the adults etc. They left 2 days ago and I was so exhausted from the time they were here I slept for 14 hours, woke up just to eat (and spew) and then passed out again. Today I am still completely exhausted, the house is a shit hole, I've thrown up five times and I just feel like crap so I said to DH I'm not going to make it to your mums later feeling like this, but go without me obviously and have fun.

The fucker turns around and says "they're coming here remember?" I thought he was joking but nope, got 5 adults and 5 children all coming back at 3 for the next 2 nights. He has not told me this. I know exactly why he hasn't told me this as I'd say no and now I don't know what to do. He's said can't I just do what I did the other day and power through and get the house sorted. I'm just lying in bed crying now I feel so peopled out I just can't do it. I just want to sleep. I just can't think of another option other than murder.

God I hope your DH is mature enough not be having a strop because his plans have changed and I hope he come back to look after you rather than fucking off to celebrate with his family.

Thank fuck for that!

I hope nice SIL has stern words with your DH, op. Some men (NAMALT) have a terrible tendency to view their wives as a cross between beast of all burden and Wonderwoman. She might be able to persuade him that however capable you may be, you're a mere mortal and he's being ridiculous in his expectations.

Thank goodness.

Do you have what you need, OP? Water by the bed, etc.?

Try to rest now. You can deal with anything that needs dealing with DH when you're better equipped.

Can't YOU just "power through"?

Wtactualf?

Tell him to get off his fat last derriere, and HE can "power through".

Take to your bed (or a hotel bed). Do nothing.

I’d be hesitant at admonishing the in-laws too much- they might know that OP has HG, but without personal experience and after being reassured by the “D”H that she was fine except in the car , they probably didn’t grasp quite how miserable she’s feeling.

The blame here lies purely with DH- he’s supposed to be advocating for her and knows exactly how unwell she’s been.

God I hope your DH is mature enough not be having a strop because his plans have changed and I hope he come back to look after you rather than fucking off to celebrate with his family.

This. Hope you are able to keep fluids down now and relax.

From your comment before about not affording a hotel due to being on statutory sick pay and not being sure if you would have the right to pay from your joint account - I hope your selfish DH isn't expecting you to be the only one out of the two of you to be paying the price financially for you being too ill to work at the minute??? Please don't tell me he's carrying on as before with "his" money...

" The plan was always his mothers until DH told them I was too sick to travel so rearranged without telling me."!

Wtf??

So he thought that you'd really rather the party be at yours than miss NYE with his family?

Thank god for nice sil.

Agree with everyone. Rest up first. Deal with fuckwits later. Hope you’re feeling better

Hope you feel better soon, your DHs behaviour is outrageous.

HURRAY !!! Well your DSIL is a keeper, the rest are a right shower.

With reference to a pp, Iamnobird . I've also learnt this year to stop feeling I must be kind and reasonable, at all times, so as not to hurt other people's feelings. I am responsible for being kind to myself. I used to always give a f*k. My bag of f*ks to be given is now virtually empty!!

As far as where 'D'H is, at this point if it were me, I'd just as soon he stayed the fuck away!

Shocking behaviour! Feel so awful for you

Bloody hell-what a load of selfish idiots. Your DH for starters!

Text SIL and thank her and then lock yourself in the bath for the afternoon with chocolates!

Nice SIL text again saying all sorted and to rest up. DH text and said he didn't mean to upset me and do I want him to bring anything home, I've told him to go to MILs with the rest of them and he said ok. Now I'm angry he agreed rather than insisting on coming home. I'm just going to sleep all day

Oh OP, you poor thing. Your SIL sounds ace and I hope you can get some rest today now. HG is awful and they’ve all been totally thoughtless. Rest up

how are you feeling

i have severe pregnancy sickness and being medicated. Thankfully for the most part with meds i can keep stuff down.But if i move around to much or do to much around the house i will throw up.Last night i could not for the life of me remember were i put my hand bag so went looking for it rummaging.Just after a few mins of looking i randomly throw up on the kitchen counter.I felt awful so my other half cleaned it up and reminded me to park it.

Talk to your man say as much as i would like to have family round i am just to ill.

it sounds like he just does not seem to understand the gravity of your situation.I feel awful the house is a mess and all i can do is look at it ,hate to think how you must be feeling =/

Your SIL is a legend

Hooray for SIL! I hope you manage to relax a bit OP x

Big love for SIL.

And it would serve your DH right if he got noro. If he does, no finger lifted and no sympathy.

I hope your SIL gives your DH shit when she sees he’s turned up at your MILs and not stayed with you.

They all sound awful apart from nice SIL.

Nice SIL sounds amazing! Glad she's on side.

Stay in your pjs and if you feel well enough later order yourself a takeaway.

Kick in the balls for DH tomorrow.

your DH is a thoughtless twat.
I hope your nice SIL rips him a new one. It would be a long time before l would forgive him for doing this

Massive kudos to your SIL for sorting them out. I think you made one mistake in this entire thing: you battled through Christmas. I know and completely understand why you did but in your DH eyes he could have thought:" oh, she did it then, she can just do it again".

I really feel for you. I've had minor HG and honestly, I couldn't move off the couch, let alone host and cook dinner so in my eyes you're an angel.

I'd be giving DH the bollocking of a lifetime when he finally shows up.