To murder DH and my in laws in pregnancy induced rage?

[MrsHughGrant]

I've got hyperemesis gravidium. I've had it for 7 weeks and I'm in hell. Been signed off work, I vomit from when I wake up until I go to sleep. I've been in and out of hospital. I'm on medication now but I'm still sick constantly and I'm so tired and I just have no energy.

DHs extended family all came over for 5 nights over Christmas, it was pre-arranged, Christmas and I battled through. I didn't stay in bed and mope I showered and put makeup on and tried to be a good host despite how awful I felt. Played with the kids, cooked for the adults etc. They left 2 days ago and I was so exhausted from the time they were here I slept for 14 hours, woke up just to eat (and spew) and then passed out again. Today I am still completely exhausted, the house is a shit hole, I've thrown up five times and I just feel like crap so I said to DH I'm not going to make it to your mums later feeling like this, but go without me obviously and have fun.

The fucker turns around and says "they're coming here remember?" I thought he was joking but nope, got 5 adults and 5 children all coming back at 3 for the next 2 nights. He has not told me this. I know exactly why he hasn't told me this as I'd say no and now I don't know what to do. He's said can't I just do what I did the other day and power through and get the house sorted. I'm just lying in bed crying now I feel so peopled out I just can't do it. I just want to sleep. I just can't think of another option other than murder.

I had breast cancer - full treatment of surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, hormone treatment, the works.

I also had hyperemesis gravidarum when I was pregnant with my first son.

I am not lying when I say that having chemotherapy was easier compared to hyperemesis. I was on a three week/four week cycle of treatment, which meant I had a good few days or a week of feeling ok, before my next infusion was due.

I had lots of drugs to mitigate the chemo side effects, but most importantly - I had understanding and empathy from people. That was severely lacking when I had hyperemesis.

Please, feel free to use me as an example if you think it will help. Hyperemesis is awful and you get no relief from it, it's constant.

Just to pre-empt the inevitable daft comments from people who can't read, I am in no way saying that having cancer is easier than being pregnant. I am saying that for me, my experience of having chemotherapy was easier to cope with than having hyperemesis.

His family, he can sort it out while you stay in bed!

You sound really poorly today OP, all this drama aside with the family. Are you keeping anything down? I know it's NYE but you could get really dehydrated so don't be afraid to call doc or midwife.

I was going to suggest hospital too but thought I’d get shouted down for ‘wasting NHS resources’. However, I’m genuinely worried you’re not being looked after properly at home.

ring in laws & tell them how ill you are (hint vomiting might be catching- lie!)

64anon probably avoiding actually seeing op because they’d have to acknowledge their total selfishness.

My cousin was hospitalised with HG, it was terrifying to watch. I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling, and now this.

Do nothing, do not go downstairs, and tell your husband that you don't want to see anyone as you feel so awful. Save your energy for coping with your physical well being. When they've all gone tomorrow then I would read him the riot act. I would also find this unforgiveable, and take the first opportunity I could to turn the tables on him.

My ex got very drunk and was sick everywhere when our dc was tiny. I took great pleasure in leaving him the next day to care for them whilst I went shopping. I don't even like shopping. I knew he was capable of doing so, he just looked and felt awful. Felt good !

I can’t get over this thread! What a bunch of arseholes.

I’m so angry on your behalf op!

Your DH knew family was coming and you were exhausted after Xmas yet didn’t keep the house tidy or do any cleaning for today!!!!

I’ve learnt a lot this year but the biggest thing is that it is okay for me to be ‘selfish’ sometimes, to put my needs before others and to just say no. The ignore the guilt that comes with not doing all the running around. I think you may have just realised this too.

They've gone! I don't know if they're coming back or if everyone's cancelled but they've gone.

I hope nice SIL manages to sort them out for you

In terms of pure thoughtlessness from a partner, this is one of the worst things I’ve read on MN.

Really hope your SIL gives your DH the dressing down he deserves.

Did someone say to DH that "ah, so many women have been pregnant, MrsHughGrant needs to stop being so precious about herself"? Sounds like it and he, of course, lapped it up because it would save him so much effort.
Stay strong, stay firm and stay in bed.

Glad they’ve left you to it. Really hoping that your sickness leaves you soon, op and that your husband and ils stop being quite so shit.

Hurrahhh!!!

Where the fuck is your DH though?

@XOhTriangleSquare No idea

Good! I hope it's your SIL who sorted it.

Just reading this thread has made me feel anxious and tearful on your behalf OP, hope you're ok and manage to have a restful day- although now you'll be stressed to death.

Hallelujah - I'm so pleased they've gone, sounds like nice SIL worked a New Year miracle.

Your DH is a twat, your MIL isn't much better - her response of just 1 day was not good enough. As soon as you'd made it clear it was ridiculous to even contemplate staying at yours they should have all gone to theirs as originally planned, it's not bloody rocket science!

Even if you "just" had morning sickness you still shouldn't have been doing everything because MS is still shit

Even if you didn't have any morning sickness you still shouldn't have been doing everything because pregnancy on its own is still shit

Even if you weren't fucking pregnant you shouldn't have been doing everything because you're a human being not a fucking slave!

Honestly it makes me so angry I could weep! It's not pregnancy induced rage, it's perfectly rational and justified rage at your extremely unpleasant and selfish husband and his family.

My dh asked what on earth am I watching.. apparently I made similar sound as when my favourite team scores as I read they're gone. But wondering where your H is.

I’d be tempted by the idea of hitting your DH in the balls every time you vomit!
I hear contact lense solution makes people sick op..........

Try to get some sleep. Think of a variety of ways you can kill DH if it helps you to nod off.

So pleased they've buggered off. Hope DH is suitably sheepish and full of apology when he turns up. Have a well earned rest OP, I hope the HG eases off soon

Oh dear!! I had the most horrible HG, hospitalised several times in all my pregnancies. This thread is my worst nightmare.

@MrsHughGrant how are you? Are you hydrated? Can you still produce pee? Have you kept anything down in the last 24hours.

Forget about Dh and his family and concentrate on your health. try not to cry you haven't got the fluids to waste 🙂

You need to rest completely and sip fluids.

Jesus, if you were my DIL the only reason why I would rock up at your house while you had HG would be so I could clean it for you, do your laundry and make some food for the freezer so you could rest! No way would I expect you to do so much as put the kettle on!

Thank goodness for nice SIL, maybe she's a mumsnetter?!?