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Original poster

To murder DH and my in laws in pregnancy induced rage?

418 replies

MrsHughGrant · 31/12/2018 12:06

I've got hyperemesis gravidium. I've had it for 7 weeks and I'm in hell. Been signed off work, I vomit from when I wake up until I go to sleep. I've been in and out of hospital. I'm on medication now but I'm still sick constantly and I'm so tired and I just have no energy.

DHs extended family all came over for 5 nights over Christmas, it was pre-arranged, Christmas and I battled through. I didn't stay in bed and mope I showered and put makeup on and tried to be a good host despite how awful I felt. Played with the kids, cooked for the adults etc. They left 2 days ago and I was so exhausted from the time they were here I slept for 14 hours, woke up just to eat (and spew) and then passed out again. Today I am still completely exhausted, the house is a shit hole, I've thrown up five times and I just feel like crap so I said to DH I'm not going to make it to your mums later feeling like this, but go without me obviously and have fun.

The fucker turns around and says "they're coming here remember?" I thought he was joking but nope, got 5 adults and 5 children all coming back at 3 for the next 2 nights. He has not told me this. I know exactly why he hasn't told me this as I'd say no and now I don't know what to do. He's said can't I just do what I did the other day and power through and get the house sorted. I'm just lying in bed crying now I feel so peopled out I just can't do it. I just want to sleep. I just can't think of another option other than murder.

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 31/12/2018 13:12

I'm surprised you could manage at all with so much work with HG, poor thing.

If DH insists they come let them all get on with it. PILs can cook, DH can clean up and sort the dc out. You just stay up in your room and rest/watch tv. Don't be tempted to get up and start doing stuff.

Honestly your H is taking the piss tbh.

averylongtimeago · 31/12/2018 13:13

Only get up to throw up on your visitors.
Selfish gits

crimsonlake · 31/12/2018 13:14

If you are so sick how on earth have you managed so far, have they all sat there watching you rush off to throw up through their stay? Why did no one send you off to bed seeing how ill you were? Say no,no and no again.

sarahC40 · 31/12/2018 13:14

As nosquirrels said, they should be decamping back to mil’s, but not before they’ve pitched in and done all the jobs you would want them to do if they were in any way a helpful family. I didn’t have HG but I did throw up every day until 24 weeks both pregnancies and was told (not by dh) that I was a ‘bloody nightmare’.

thefinn · 31/12/2018 13:14

He is a prick and the family is stupid or choose to be.HG is pretty well known and atleast there is information available. Can't imagine how you're feeling. But try to just ignore them as best as you canFlowers and hugs.

QueenDoria · 31/12/2018 13:14

Can you get readmitted to hospital? I’m not even joking. Then people might realise how sick you are...

QueenDoria · 31/12/2018 13:15

No one judged Kate Middleton , and she doesn’t have to do her own vacuuming.

Original poster
MrsHughGrant · 31/12/2018 13:16

SIL (the nice one, not the one that's downstairs) just rang, I answered hysterical. She's furious about it all and said to leave it with her. Can hear phones ringing downstairs. Praying she's kicking them out for me. DH still not shown up and not answering. MIL not answering. I'm making a right scene but past caring. They must be able to hear me crying downstairs. Feel bad for the kids but feel worse for myself so who fucking cares

OP posts:
xmasbamechange · 31/12/2018 13:16

Honestly I remember the sheer exhaustion of feeling constantly on the verge of being sick, by the end of my pregnancy I was crying with my head in a toilet saying that I didn’t believe it was ever going to end. It nearly stopped me from ever getting pregnant again as I was terrified I would get it again (luckily I didn’t). I really think that you need to either tell your husband they all need to leave or you need to seek refuge somewhere else. Can they not find a last minute table somewhere else? How far do the relatives live? Can they not all make the trip there? It’s only 1:15

TheABC · 31/12/2018 13:16

Give serious thought to @QueenDoria's plan. Hospital would show how serious this is and whilst it would still be noisy and intrusive, you would not be expected to be sociable.

Gazelda · 31/12/2018 13:17

Do you have sympathetic and understanding DM or DSis? Get on of them to call DMIL or DSIL and explain how ill you are. Explain how you're virtually bed bound. How hosting them over Christmas has exhausted you.

If any of them have any decency, they'd creep into the house, silently clean and tidy it from top to bottom (except your bedroom), take your kids to the park to wear them out, stock your fridge with anything you can bear to eat and drink, drive themselves home again and when they get there they'll arrange for a lovely (scent free) bouquet to be delivered to you tomorrow with their love and apologies.

Holidayshopping · 31/12/2018 13:18

They can’t have travelled that far if they have only been away 2 days and come back. What the fuck is wrong with them? Don’t they have homes of their own they can stay in? Why yours?

This!

Have you married into the most selfish family ever?

Why would they think that the newly pregnant person would want to host?? HG aside!

Why are there all arriving at midday as well?!

WisdomOfCrowds · 31/12/2018 13:19

The way that women are treated during pregnancy (well, during any health issue but especially a female health issue) is disgusting. HG? Just power through. Excruciating period pains? Stop trying to use your lady parts to get special treatment. Just given birth or want pain relief during labour? Stop complaining, women have been doing it for centuries. "Your just pregnant, not ill", "stop complaining about women's issues, it just gives fuel to the misogynists", "women say they want equality but then expect special treatment for female health issues" and on and on and on the misogyny goes. But a man has a cold and he's in bed not lifting a finger for days. Weeks of recovery following a vasectomy. "Too tired" to help do anything in the evening after just going to a normal job in full health. It honestly makes me sick how badly women are treated in this world.

QueenDoria · 31/12/2018 13:19

Phone you Gp now for an emergency appt. your mental health needs looking after too

NoSquirrels · 31/12/2018 13:20

SIL (the nice one, not the one that's downstairs) just rang, I answered hysterical. She's furious about it all and said to leave it with her.

Thank goodness for nice SIL.
She'll get them to ship out, and hopefully give her brother a huge rocket up the arse.

Don't feel bad. Your DH and his extended family can pitch in for the kids, and give them a nice NYE ELSEWHERE while Mummy is feeling poorly in bed.

What a shower of shites. Especially the ones who turned up hours early with extra kids and dogs!

thefinn · 31/12/2018 13:20

You haven't caused a scene (or a crime scene). I hope your nice SIL is taking care of this.

Tricycletops · 31/12/2018 13:20

I wonder if nice SIL is on Mumsnet? Hope she can empty your house for you so you can give your husband the almighty bollocking he deserves...

Topseyt · 31/12/2018 13:20

I am glad to see that you have one SIL onside. I hope she sorts it out for you and gives all the other twats a HUGE kick up the arse, including your idiot DH.

Maelstrop · 31/12/2018 13:21

I'm following this in absolute horror. Are they aware you're pregnant and have hg? Do they know how exhausting continual vomiting is?

I hope your nice sil is throwing them out. You poor thing.

ApolloandDaphne · 31/12/2018 13:21

Hooray for nice SIL. Hope she sorted it all out for you.

squiglet111 · 31/12/2018 13:22

Oh god how terrible. I fear you put on a too good show over Xmas so they don't believe you're that sick. Definitely time to make it clear how ill you are.

Can't believe your husband hid this from you until the last minute! Then expected you to clean the house! I'd be so mad I'd be clearing the house of his stuff....we'll imagining it as I'd be too sick to move!

Definitely learn from this op, never push through your pain, or it will come back and bite you in the ass

AnotherEmma · 31/12/2018 13:22

I'm surprised you hosted for five days in the first place. I can understand not wanting to cancel if it had been arranged for ages and everyone was looking forward to it. But surely everyone could have gone elsewhere or it could have been a shorter visit?

Have you seen your own family at all over Christmas? It sounds as if his family has completely taken over Confused You really need better boundaries in place BEFORE the baby arrives.

I think there will be more dramas in future and you really need to hash it out with DH so that he has your back.

MaryDollNesbitt · 31/12/2018 13:22

Oh god, OP. You poor soul! Flowers

Can you just stay in bed and leave DH to sort them all out? And then maybe smother him in his sleep later...? Wink

We've been hosting family since the 27th while battling flu-like symptoms that have totally floored us. There is no worse feeling than having to muddle on through for guests when you're so unwell. The family we have staying don't lift a damn finger to help, despite their unruly, undisciplined sprogs making SO MUCH bloody mess. The 4 year old threw a shit fit last night and their dinner ended up all over the kitchen wall and floor. I was close to tears at 10 p.m. on my hands and knees scrubbing bits of missed mince from my mum's fucking paintwork while coughing up my lungs and feeling generally broken and bone weary. None of us are well enough to be dealing with this shite! And we have another 8 people arriving for NYE later. All arranged months ago and folk have travelled too far to call it off. Uuuugh!

68Anon · 31/12/2018 13:23

Strange that your SIL with 2 children are down stairs yet they haven't looked for you. Did they have a key to let themselves in? or do you keep your doors unlocked? (even though your in bed?

Maelstrop · 31/12/2018 13:23

And if she is, I would get this whole spending every holiday together nonsense sorted now. Are you not allowed time with just your own family?

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