To wish my friends just lied?

[Outwards]

About childbirth.

Honestly, as soon as I mention I'm TTC I'm instantly given the labour horror story of the year.

A close friend was so traumatised she swears never again. Another friend then tried to 'trump' her story. So many details.

Is labour always destined to be bloody awful, and why do you insist on scaring the shit out of your friends?! Please, for my sake, lie!

I had a terrible delivery with my first and a straightforward one for my second. I was fed the horror stories too - they don’t help. You need to cling to the positive and “can-do” attitude and try to feel as confident as possible. Just ask people to keep quiet if nothing positive to share.

I planned a home birth ....
Everyone I told ... said oh you are mad ... my birth was ..I used to stop them there and say, I don’t wish to hear thank you.
Unfortunately- I was transferred to hospital and I ended up it theatre ... but I don’t regret it. I never once feared birth.
Eve people ask about birth and the fear of it ..
I just say don’t be x

I’ve had 4 babies, they are all grown up now!
I’ve always said, yes it is painful, but it’s a ‘nice’ pain - you will have a beautiful baby In the end!
My daughter has just given birth to her first baby, a girl on Christmas Eve called Ivy. We are over the moon xx

Education is the key, if you have the knowledge of what is happening at each stage you won’t have any surprises, I had one very long birth and one very quick, learn what your body is doing, learn how to work with yourself and your baby, learn different techniques to control any pain, talk to your baby, remember each contraction is one closer to a happy and safe delivery, good luck, holding your new baby is your end goal, you will be working towards that wonderful goal

Not everyone has a traumatic birth, I promise you! I've been very lucky with all 4 of mine.
1st they didn't believe I was in labour until they checked and I was 8cm, but as I could talk and walk they thought it was braxton hicks. Baby born 2 hours later. 2nd Labour for 7 hours. 3rd quick, water birth at home. Very chilled and a cuppa with the midwives after. 4th incredibly relaxed home waterbirth. Kids upstairs, came down to meet new baby as soon as born. Delivered by student midwife, with my community midwife present.
I hope you have a labour like mine, when your time cones. Just try to relax, take it as it comes, they've got to come out so let your body tell you what to do x

Well said @newroundhere

I have read all of these posts and it’s fantastic so many people had great experiences but unfortunately that might not be the case and i do find some of these posts hurtful and bring back bad memories for me.

Don’t let this put you off because at the end of the day if you really want a baby then you’ll do anything to have one!

Ok, so I really enjoyed my labour. Would do it again tomorrow and said that straight away. It hurts but there's always pain relief so it's manageable. For me it was preferable to having something like toothache... Pregnancy however, never again 😂

Everyone likes to say how bad there’s was.

It’s like a thing . But to be honest you don’t REALLY remember how bad it was . It’s bad at the time but as soon as it’s done you kind of repress the memory .

It can’t be that bad because most of us will do it more than once !

Don’t worry , it’s the best thing you will do

I had four, they were all fine!
I had two natural with no pain relief, and the latter two both emergency c-sections as they wouldn't budge, and all was over so fast, with such amazing wonderful results, couldn't have cared less how they were born, just that they were finally here!
I was in pain, but obviously can't have been that bad or why the hell would I have gone back three more times ;-) x

The thing is, the second you hold that baby, everything else in the world disappears, and you spend the rest of your life in love xxx

I don’t share my birth stories because I feel a little “guilty” I suppose that it’s been so easy for me when other women have real trauma. Hand to God though, it was easy. Did it hurt? Yep. No worse than a long run or hard exercise though. And my long labor was only 2.5 hrs. It’s certainly possible to be lucky enough to breeze through.

I always say the truth it is actually horrific but it ends it totally ends I was in labour from the monday till Thursday and it was awful but I’ll be TTC next year again kind of says it all the prize at the end completely outweighs anything I went through.. good luck xxx

Listen, it really does depend on the person. I was absolutely bricking it when I went in to have my daughter, well at that point I didn’t have much choice but to give birth did I, I will never forget hearing one woman down the hall screaming, and I thought what.have.i.got.myself.into!! Well 4 hours and 14 minutes later, I had my beautiful girl in my arms. I don’t remember the pain. It felt like strong period pains, but not all this swearing and screaming you see on TV and films.

Please do not worry. You’ll be absolutely fine.

If it was that bad, people wouldn’t go back and have 2-3-4 more children.

I gave birth seven weeks ago and feel the focus was on the wrong things tbh.

I had a two day back-to-back labour which was pretty horrific, up until they insisted on inducing me as my waters had gone and I just wasn't dilating. I got an epidural after contracting hard and frequently for nearly 24 hours and suddenly it was lovely.

Honestly OP, yes the pain was horrendous and much worse than I imagined but the issue was the length of the labour making the experience unbearable more than the pain itself. TBH that is what decided the level of pain relief people ended up with and there is very little control you have over the length of your labour.

In fact, prior to my labour people had been honest with me that long posterior labours and inductions were pretty hard for even the toughest of women to manage without an epidural, and I am grateful for that as both happened to me!

As other posters have said, you need to not obsess over pain relief options beforehand despite that being the focus of the NCT and to a degree the midwives, before you have your baby as you will have the labour you will have.

I don’t think childbirth is always bad. It can be, but every birth is different. Some of my friends had amazing births, I wasn’t so lucky but generally I keep it to myself unless asked. Honestly I feel it quite traumatised to talk about. It also grates me when I hear these supposedly terrible birth stories that end in the birth of a live baby. Many women aren’t so lucky so it’s a matter of perspective.

I had a horrendous pregnancy. Constantly sick, heart burn. Pelvic pain.
Labour was a bloody doddle! Seriously, hurt about the same as a period pain, was over in less than 4 hours and no drugs to ease the way. If I had accepted I was ready would have been less than an hour!
I heard all the horror stories.
No one can tell you what will happen to you. You will manage and you will pass on your words of wisdom too...

Both DS1 and I were extremely lucky to survive. DH recently told me that was the last time he prayed (he is a lapsed Catholic). We owe our lives to the amazing OBGYN who delivered DS1. The midwives could do very little for us at that point. That’s not a criticism of midwives. The one who delivered DS2 with fab and I cherish the fact that it was just her, DH and myself in the delivery room. However, my experience of NCT antenatal classes was that medicalised births were painted to be the worst thing that could possibly happen. However, a medicalised birth is the reason I am here today writing this post. It is the reason I have the most amazing little men in my life.

My first Labour was straightforward and rather than describe it as "painful" it was more like the feeling of a hard workout. I believed I had gone into labour 2 days before my daughter was born, but it was only 36 hours after I believed Labour to have started that the contractions were of the magnitude that was required. When the hospital finally agreed to me coming in they were surprised to see I was fully dilated and broke my waters so that dd arrived 30 mins later, I only had my tens machine for pain relief and a couple of paracetamol. I really recommend viewing the sensation as a physical workout, it is doing a job of pushing your baby out of your womb, down the birth canal and out into your arms. If you visualise that it can really help. Good luck!

My first delivery was difficult but staff were so good it was only at the very end that my husband and I were aware that we were a n a bit of bother! I was pretty exhausted I think a bit off my rocker.... and after they got him out I declared "is that it? That was easy, I could do that again" and the team looked at me in a "she's off her rocker" way. I did feel differently over the following few days and it was sometime before I could sit down comfortably.
Anyway I did it again and was all up for trying a natural delivery but was told too risky after 1st. Had a planned Cs with ds2.
Honestly little point in worrying but have an open mind, it could be quick, it could take ages. It will hurt but if you are lucky enough to carry and hold a healthy baby. Everything else is insignificant.

Everyone finds it a different experience. There’s no 2 births the same as there’s so many factors to bear in mind. How ever you have the baby it’s just awesome. And you soon forget the pain. I had a natural birth first and then an epidural for the second one. And if I had a third I’d opt for another epidural.

It’s so unhelpful when people give you terrible birth stories! Or unwanted advice about how to manage birth. The only good advice I was given amongst a lot of rubbish was to be flexible and not have expectations about how I would give birth

Ended up being induced, epidural then emergency c section - but I loved it. Felt safe and in control and it was wonderful.

I didn't get told anything and I'm pleased as it shows a respect for other women. It's not a competition. What is an 'easy' birth for some would be terrible for someone else. We all cope with pain in different ways and have varying thresholds.
But yes, it does hurt, it's a pain that builds though so your body copes unbelievably if you just let it.

Ive had 4 children. Each labour different and shorter as time goes on. Yes it hurts but you can access pain meds. However immediately the baby is born the pain stops and you are too busy loving your little bundle to care. A few hours of pain, which can be managed for a wonderful human being.

If I could I would do it all over again. xxxx

im not going to lie it does hurt but with all the support from hubby midwifes family youll smash it dont feel guilty if you need pain relief use it. every labour and delivery is different no two are the same. i can honestly say my labours and deliverys were painless i didnt use any pain relief but i have a big pain barrier and my last baby the pregnancy was awful but a quick unexpected home birth( born before the ambulance arrived ) the only pain i had really was delivering the placenta but even that was a doodle. dont overthink it . we decided to stop at 3 because it was a rough pregnancy and i developed a cyst but we would have had more lol x

lst birth was a very long labour (32 hours) but it wasn't awful, just tiring and long. Can't say the stitches I had helped though, they seemed to cause more discomfort afterwards than the labour had. 2nd birth with twins, even though I was hospitalised for 6 weeks before going into labour did not go smoothly though not nearly as long, only 9 hours. The 9 hours was though due to midwifes not recognising that the first child was a brow presentation. This help up progress for a fair while. Then two Drs brought in for delivery. Second child then decided to be breech but again dealt very smoothly by the Drs. Both babies well. Stitches this time were totally different,, could have climbed a mountain as no discomfort afterwards. Hopefully I am not scaring you but highlighting that births even though complicated are not horrendous. It is how folk perceive their experience that makes some think they have had the worst ever time. Don't listen to the stories, as that is what they are, stories. All the best for your baby's forthcoming arrival.