To wish my friends just lied?

[Outwards]

About childbirth.

Honestly, as soon as I mention I'm TTC I'm instantly given the labour horror story of the year.

A close friend was so traumatised she swears never again. Another friend then tried to 'trump' her story. So many details.

Is labour always destined to be bloody awful, and why do you insist on scaring the shit out of your friends?! Please, for my sake, lie!

I love giving birth. U will be fine. Don't let anyone's stories put u off xxx

You can go the careful boring root of keeping safe and having no kids in case it hurts but what’s the point

Steady on now...

PS it’s ‘route’

I had a pretty rotten time but never told people unless they asked for more details - they always did because I had a giant baby so curiousity seemed to get the better of them.

I think it’s nasty to try to scare people on purpose and I always call people out on it.

After my first and people asking what it was like my reply was "it was the most scary, emotional but amazing time of my life"
I've had two more since then 🥰

I had epidurals with both of mine and had a lovely long sleep through all the contractions. With the first I tried gas and air but cue lots of vomiting. Top tip try not to eat an enormous roast dinner followed by apple pie and custard before being induced.

@Thewifip No Epi but i was going to have one, had the catheter in and was waiting on the doctor person the come give it to me and had a check ... had a very amused midwife telling me that i cant have the epidural now as hes already coming out and just needed his shoulders to come free, Although i was enduced and the contractions wer a bit painful but just felt like a major period and stitches so nope wasnt that bad, he is now 6 months old and im 3 months pregnant with my second and last baby.

Atleast im not afraid of labour now

I had horror stories and “I had my child in 15 minutes” stories. It sounds like your mates are taking pleasure in winding you up which isn’t very helpful!

FWIW I do think knowledge about the process / what might happen is useful.

The thing I found most helpful before I had dd was going to anti natal classes run by midwives. They went through the textbook “natural birth” scenario one week. Then the next they did all sorts of different scenarios e.g. induction, epidural, slow progress, forceps, CS and the choices you might need to make along the way with each one. I personally found that really empowering and informative. I ended up with a planned c section due to breech so everything was fairly calm for me, but the fact they had used playmobile people to demo how many people would be in the operating theatre (loads!!) and I saw the tube the inject into your back at this class beforehand really helped me stay calm and know what to expect. Apparently two thirds (according to the midwives who ran this course) of first births involve some sort of intervention. I do wonder if women were better informed about what will happen if things go “wrong” the whole experience might not be so traumatic sometimes. I am aware though that I didn’t have a traumatic birth so I can’t really say that with any authority. Sorry rambling.

I had an emergency c-section in the summer just gone due to severe pre-eclampsia and breech baby. First child.
I healed very quickly and had very little pain from the c-section wound; only took oramorph the day afterwards and managed on paracetamol for a few days after that.
I guess what I’m saying is that whilst it was a worrying and dangerous situation for me and baby it was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. Beforehand I was absolutely petrified at the thought of a c-section. It will probably sound crazy but I feel I missed out a bit not going into labour naturally.
So a scary birth technically but it’s not put me off wanting another (the hyperemesis I suffered while pregnant was worse for me personally!)
Maybe I will feel differently if im lucky enough to have another and a natural labour, who knows!

It's true that everyone's experience is different, try not to worry as it will ruin the whole journey for you. I had a lovely experience, even though a team were on standby for an emergency c section the loveliest midwife put me at ease & kept me calm through it all while I sucked on gas & air 😏nurses & all staff in general had at all times mine & babies best interests at heart & the best you can do is focus on you, your baby & maybe check on your partner from time to time to make sure they're still standing 😊

I felt like people had exaggerated about childbirth. I found it pretty easy, painful but nowhere near unbearable, I actually weirdly enjoyed it. I felt a bit upset about all the anxiety i had suffered during my pregnancy because everyone had told me horror stories too! I wish they'd have just kept their mouth shut because their stories were unhelpful and just scared me, and my birth experience was nothing like theirs!! Childbirth is different for everyone! Try not to worry. I wish I hadn't.

Also, my babies were really easy babies, slept through the night, ate well, only cried when they were hungry or tired and stopped when they were given what they needed. I never had the sleepless nights or stress! Honestly I've found motherhood pretty easy and enjoyable. None of this exhaustion that other people talk about. People had terrified me about this too - I was so sure my life would be SO difficult when I had children but it really wasnt, just nicer. But, like a PP said, I'd never talk about this in real life as it feels insensitive to say this when someone else might be having a hard time. And it seems insensitive to talk of an easy birth when someone else talks of a difficult one. So I think that the people who have bad experiences are just louder and the people with lovely easy experiences keep their mouth shut!

I had the opposite problem. Nct going On about all the choices you have in childbirth and hardly mentioned caesarian at all. I was all on for favourite cds and water birth. Not disappointed with dd obvs. But the tech heavy drugged up crash team type scenario I got was clearly a let down.

It's like going to IKEA. Quite unpleasant but you are happy to do it again

Everyone has a different experience but I'm a firm believer in your attitude helps. I went into labour feeling positive. Built a good rapport with the midwife and can honestly say while yes, it was painful, it was fine! Meanwhile my friend who was pregnant at the same time was so negative about it all and claims she had a difficult time in what seems to have been a fairly straightforward labour. It's no picnic but women wouldn't continue to do it if it was impossible.
Be prepared that your birthing plan may not go ahead because sometimes circumstances change. Have an open mind and look forward to welcoming your little one.

Emergency C section but amazing. There were tough bits but my 6 month daughter was totally worth it. You know what you want, grab hold with both hands and go for it.

To give you some balance - I had 2 really positive, textbook births! My first was 4 days early, was 4.5 hrs, and only required gas & air at a midwife led unit. My second was 3 days late, only 2.5 hrs, and was a water birth with just gas & air. Both were, whilst not painless, very positive and wonderful experiences. It does happen, people just love to hear the horror stories!

Here is my story. I gave birth to my first child yesterday. I coped with what the situation threw at me, with the help of drs and midwives. I have a precious little boy. Everyone has a different experience.

I always try and avoid going through too many details but I will say one thing, your body and you will cope with whatever comes your way I promise you. My first one wasn’t entirely straight forward but I remember feeling like super woman afterwards and I was proud of myself. You’ll cope I promise and my mum had two super quick labours no issues at all and I know of lots of people who have had the same :) x

Mum never mentioned pain and said it was over quick and then she had us and we were gorgeous...

I think it varies hugely and if you learn relaxation techniques well in advance it can be better. Best to stay calm enough.
My friend ( who is an idiot) tried to do all the right things in between being a raving angry idiot with the result the birth was painful because she was too busy noticing how badly she was being treated...by her partner, by medics, by everyone.
So maintain a positive outlook x

My (female) boss said to me the day I went on maternity leave 'just remember the more painful labour gets the closer you are to holding your baby'. She was right but in all honesty I have suffered much worse pain and I ended up with high forceps. I think most women get treated to horror stories, I certainly did, try and ignore them.

I’ve had four children.
2 of them were 25 and 23 years ago so I’ll discount them as things have changed since then.
My youngest two are 6&5, my little girl what is 6 (so number 3 child) was an AMAZING Kanpur birth. I would do her birth every week and she was the dreaded “back to back” which we didn’t know about until she was out lol the difference between her birth and the other three was that she was a water birth. I had no pain relief at all and I found it to be an empowering experience. I vowed to have a water birth with number four but she had other ideas and almost arrived in the lift.
All labours and births are different. The key is to not be scared. To learn some relaxation techniques and IMO have a water birth 😁

@liverbird77
Congratulations xxxx

I only tell the gory details to people who have children.

If someone pregnant or TTC asks, they will get the condensed (less graphic) version.

I felt like I had a bad labour, but women have had worse.

Watch one born every minute, it's a cross section.
There's something about bad experiences that makes people want to share them. Hope yours is a good one.