To wonder what's going on with Christenings these days?

[GunpowderGelatine]

Just been to a Christening and is it just me or have they changed in recent times? Not the way they're run (although there's definitely less Holy "stuff" to accommodate for non believers I suppose) but the way guests are. Today there's countless guests in jeans and t-shirts (men) or trainers and women have mini dresses and bodycon dresses on. This includes god parents. Sorry, I'm no prude, but you're in church not a nightclub. And no one sings the hymns! It was basically me and the vicar singing (which was painful all round TBH I'm tone deaf ) well known hymns as well. Is it just me or is this the norm now? one I was at last hear was similar and they had EIGHT godparents

Women can wear what they want. Your shaming of dresses being too short or too tight is one of the reasons so many younger people don't go to Church or believe in religion. They were there to support family and share in a special moment with the child. The rest you can get over.

I really don't think fewer people are going to church because of an inability to wear short dresses

Not the inability to wear short dresses. The judgement from people over ridiculous things such what they are wearing! Not even slightly biblical.

I'm about to head out to Church wearing Jeans and a cardigan. So sorry i'm not fitting your standards of what a Christian should look like. But i sure act more like one than most of the judgemental people at previous Churches I've been to.

I am not Christian so if invited to a close friends child's baptism I will only go to show love for the child. I don't know the hymns so no point in inflicting my tuneless attempts on everyone and whilst I don't have the figure for tight dresses my dresses are just a fraction above knee length and definitely not disrespectful, I love seeing other people's dresses they really make an effort.

The last few I have been to are like weddings, receptions, cakes, buffet food. Tis mad.

I would have thought it's a bit chilly to be wearing something so skimpy

I don’t recognise the description you’ve given. At my church, thanksgiving services (we tend not to have christenings) are casual affairs with buffet in the hall afterwards.

i don't understand the aspect of being christened if the parents are non believers, except as an excuse for a party - which is fair game

Lots of the guests probably aren't religious but are there to support their friends.
I am a devout atheist and still go to christenings if invited. However, I don't know the words to any hymns and even if I did I'm not sure I'd sing them anyway - its not faith that they are expressing. Same as not saying amen or whatever at the end of the prayers. I'll stand up and sit down with the crowd but not say the words.

Re dress: I go to some christenings for friends with a variety of backgrounds - what the eastern Europeans wear to church is very different from what the Africans wear to church and from what middle class Brits think is normal to wear. unless it is actually indecent and you can see their genitals, then I can't see why anyone else should care.
I went to a largely Bulgarian service -women dressed up to the nines, high heels, big blow dries, sequins, furs etc and the men were in jeans and t shirts - from grandparents to youngsters. Clearly normal for them.

I’m pretty sure Jesus was poor and would not have been dressed up when he was preaching.

Matthew 19:21 Jesus told him, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow Me."

I imagine hymns are only well know to church goers. If I’m invited to a wedding or christening/other symbolic ceremony in a church (or other religious setting) I would attend but I probably wouldn’t know the songs as I don’t personally attend or believe.

Perhaps you should wonder about your own Christianity. Judging others who come to church to celebrate a child joining your faith seems rude and decidedly unchristian. And I think Jesus had quite a few things to say on who was welcome - I don’t recall mini dresses, jeans or trainers featuring on the not welcome list but as a good church goer you’ll be better versed on that.

I don’t recognise your description from my own sons baptism. We dressed smart/casual as it was a serious occasion. But I have seen similar things like you describe, it felt more like the child was being baptised/christened for the social outing side of it.

Have a party to welcome your baby by all means, but why pretend to be religious by going to church and getting them Christened? I don't get that at all. Or Godparents - someone who is supposed to look after the religious wellbeing of your child through life. Not just your best mate at the time.

@room

No women can’t just wear what they want. Men can’t either. Churches are places where you should dress with respect, it’s not a nightclub. Women certainly can’t wear a skimpy dress anywhere they like - you wouldn’t wear one to work for example in most circumstances.

That’s a ridiculous statement to make.

I think churches are damned if they do and damned if they don't when it comes to this

A christening should be treated as a special occasion. Even if you never set foot in church otherwise and are going out of love for the parents of the child, then you should consider what you wear and make an effort.

The observation about dressing as if going to the races is very true, both for christenings and also for First Holy Communions. Unfortunately in a country where there is almost no style and our high street clothes retailing is dominated by Philip Green and Mike Ashley's empires, this is not surprising.

I hate to say this but when people from other countries say us Brits don't know how to dress I do think they have a point

My kids decided they wanted to be christened, so I did it. They dressed very smart. At that church, it was a 'high church's, Church of Wales (same as CofE but they also do it in Welsh as well) but because of it's status it felt like being in a Catholic church without the confession.

Most people turned up respectable if not smart. Not sure if there were jeans. But there was a lot of judging looks from older church goers at some of the younger goers.

If people want to celebrate god and Jesus, I don't think it should matter what they wear. There's probably nudist churches out there. That's all fine.

It doesn't matter. But I've definitely seen more smart than anything else.

Increasing numbers of people simply don’t know how to dress for an ocassion - went to a funeral recently and a male was dressed as if he had just come off a building site. Yes people can dess how they like but respect for the ocassion is also needed.

Where in the Bible does it say thou shalt only wear a bland Joules/Boden/M&S tunic/twin-set, sensible Clark shoes, wax jacket and pearls to go to church?

The people "dressed up like they are going to the races" (so a dress/hat/heels/suit?) have made an effort to wear something nice/special/smart (in their eyes) for an important occasion for a friend. They don't dress like that when walking to dog or going round the supermarket.

Just because it isn't what YOU would wear, doesn't mean it is wrong or disrespectful. They have made an effort, worn something special and shown up on a Sunday morning even though they may privately think it's a load of old baloney.
That shows their respect and love for their friend/family member and the church they want to join.

It's not like they are setting fire to the altar or pissing in the pews. They just don't wear the same clothes you do.

Church of Scotland here and our baptisms are always done during a normal Sunday service, which helps with the singing issue!

@Constantly

And how do you define 'respect'? Why are my jeans disrespectful and black trousers not? Why are my legs disrespectful? They are legs. Who gets to decide what is respectful? The bible is clear on this. The clothes you wear are not important.

Matthew 22:8-14

I would have thought it's a bit chilly to be wearing something so skimpy

I did have a very "they just be freezing" moment (in my head) think I'm turning into my mother! Some had crop tops on!

Haha I must admit I was goggling the last time I was invited to a christening. In Dublin, for clarity. Five babies were being baptised, most of them had only the mother and the grandmother accompanying them, the babies were all in babygros and apart from myself (who'd foolishly dressed to the nines) everyone else was in jeans or tracksuits and sneakers. I found it odd, as I'd have thought parents would see it as 'an occasion'.