To wonder what's going on with Christenings these days?

[GunpowderGelatine]

Just been to a Christening and is it just me or have they changed in recent times? Not the way they're run (although there's definitely less Holy "stuff" to accommodate for non believers I suppose) but the way guests are. Today there's countless guests in jeans and t-shirts (men) or trainers and women have mini dresses and bodycon dresses on. This includes god parents. Sorry, I'm no prude, but you're in church not a nightclub. And no one sings the hymns! It was basically me and the vicar singing (which was painful all round TBH I'm tone deaf ) well known hymns as well. Is it just me or is this the norm now? one I was at last hear was similar and they had EIGHT godparents

Also speak for yourself about the Church being white, middle-class, and old people. The Church in my village is a mixture of middle class 20-something and 30-something couples, (some with kids some not,) working class single mothers, (and couples with kids,) a few very elderly people, some middle aged folk, and half a dozen Asian and black families. We don't need to 'work on' anything.

Erm ... what have the demographics of your church to do with it? stripey is quite right that the C of E is white, middle-class, and old. That doesn't mean every single individual church follows that pattern, but the Church as a whole, does.

I've recently moved to an area where the congregation is extremely white, elderly and middle class, and they're also (on the whole) hugely welcoming and keen to change that demographic. Because the churches in our benefice are very pretty, lots of non-regular churchgoers attend for christenings and weddings. I don't think anyone would notice someone wearing jeans, and someone wearing a bodycon mini-dress would probably just feel a bit cold, but (sadly) there are bigger issues to get over than clothes.

Oh, and I can't always (usually) sing hymns. The bishop of Oxford ticked me off during my own holy communion, which I thought was frankly a bit dickish of him.

Doesn't really matter if you think it is prudish. It is a place of worship with an understood code of conduct.

It's no different to covering your head in a mosque (or being given a wrap), covering shoulders at the Western Wall in Jerusalem or taking off shoes at a temple. It's not just any old building but a place of worship.

It's about being sensitive to others and appropriate to your surroundings. I wish wear something very different on a Spanish beach than if I was exploring Tehran.

If it was very very immodest e.g. as example given above, I would imagine the priest/deacon would notice and gently speak to the person involved.

Again, most people have enough common sense and respect for others not to do this so I would probably see it as an attempt to provoke a reaction from a congregation. If they were unaware of how a certain level of modesty is important in a Church, it would be an opportunity for a discussion in a careful and charitable way.

I worked in a special school once with a couple of very religious teachers including the head. Religious songs/hymns were sung frequently in assemblies and I would never sing them. It seemed downright wrong to expect these significantly disabled children to be thanking anyone for what they’d been ‘given’ regardless of how made up the enteties are (to me). I felt very strongly about it at the time and would do the same all these years later.

No one should be expected to sing or pray (to) things they don’t believe. A significant proportion of people (myself included) see a church as simply a building where events happen. I would never not go to a christening or wedding because it’s in a religious building as I believe in supporting friends and family at times when I am invited to. I get a lot out of churches, mosques etc but nothing religious.

I hear what you are saying about being sensitive to other surroundings.
Church is not for one and all.

Live and let live .
Merry Christmas..

" I would never not go to a christening or wedding because it’s in a religious building as I believe in supporting friends and family at times when I am invited to."

But if you refuse to sing you're not supporting them are you? Why go if you're so opposed to everything. Just seems to passive aggressive. I don't get it at all. Go to the party afterwards.

YANBU. If you're going to a Church service it's polite to dress appropriately.

Some of the posts on this thread are daft.

"Women can wear whatever they want". Would you extend that "right" to the courtroom or the office? What about your dentist?

And can men wear what they want too? If my husband went to work as an undertaker wearing leather shorts and a string vest would you defend his right to do so?

Or is it just another chance to have a go at the church?

Or is it just another chance to have a go at the church?
“The church” hadn’t said anything about the way anyone was dressed. This is the op’s opinion.

@WinterfellWench - as it happens the church I attend is very diverse in terms of race and ethnicity and class, slightly less so in terms of age. I do think the church as a whole and each church community always has things they need to work on in terms of seeking to be the charitable, outward looking and welcoming communities we are called to be. We may be diverse congregation in some ways but there is still much more to do.

I really do think you can dress however you want and I don't understand the comparisons with a place of work, for example. Church isn't a professional setting. Sure, it isn't a night club either. But fundamentally it's supposed to be a place of unconditional welcome. I think the c of E is currently failing to live up to that in a number of ways (and I count myself in as part of the problem - I need to do more).

Church isn't about respect at a fundamental level. It's about love. Showing respect can be a way of showing love but it's not the only way. What matters when it comes to weddings, Christenings or whatever is that the people that come do so because they want to show they love you and want to support you.

"I really do think you can dress however you want and I don't understand the comparisons with a place of work, for example. Church isn't a professional setting. "

A setting doesn't have to be professional to have a dress code. What gets me is that people would be respectful when visiting a place of worship of a different religion, but not for a Christian one.
Would you go to a mosque with shoes and no head covering?

A setting doesn't have to be professional to have a dress code
This in buckets.
I wouldn't attend someone's country hotel wedding wearing denim hot pants and a bikini.
I wouldn't attend a funeral dressed like I'm going clubbing.
I wouldn't go to the gym dressed in a cocktail day dress and heels.
I wouldn't go round Aldi in my pyjamas.

It's obvious there's certain common sense expectations. When I hear people say 'they're just clothes...' on here I often wonder if they're that clueless or simply trying to appeal right on and liberal online whilst knowing fine well that offline they'd dress themselves for the occadions they're attending.

I depends on the church. Just check in advance. Some are happy clappy places with guitars and tamborines and anything goes. Others are stricter in terms of dress - arms covered for men and women for example, no shorts, no photography other than one official photographer (which is actually a very good idea otherwise it becomes a photo show and totally spoils the event).