To wonder what's going on with Christenings these days?

[GunpowderGelatine]

Just been to a Christening and is it just me or have they changed in recent times? Not the way they're run (although there's definitely less Holy "stuff" to accommodate for non believers I suppose) but the way guests are. Today there's countless guests in jeans and t-shirts (men) or trainers and women have mini dresses and bodycon dresses on. This includes god parents. Sorry, I'm no prude, but you're in church not a nightclub. And no one sings the hymns! It was basically me and the vicar singing (which was painful all round TBH I'm tone deaf ) well known hymns as well. Is it just me or is this the norm now? one I was at last hear was similar and they had EIGHT godparents

@GunpowderGelatine

Agree OP. It makes someone look incredibly common and shows they are lacking class, to turn up at a Christening dressed in jeans and trainers, or like they are going clubbing. Very tacky.

This is what you get when the Christian Church allows people to have their babies christened in Church, and get married in Church, when they never attend Church. You get all sorts of ghastly individuals attending!

Really boils my piss that people use the Church for their convenience, (and when it suits them,) but then claim they are atheist, and take the piss out of religion.

MojoMoon What is a " devout atheist " ? what is an atheist devout about? I havn't heard this term before.

I’m not religious at all and I’m not christened.

That said, I find it distasteful that people use the church for their ‘big life events’ but never attend any other time.

Also, I would always dress respectfully if I do go to church. You wouldn’t go to a job interview with your belly hanging out, surely? For me it’s respect for your surroundings.

I always wear jeans to church. I really don't think God cares

"I imagine hymns are only well know to church goers. "

Oh come on. Some hymns are well known to everyone. Never heard Rock of Ages or Amazing Grace. Also, you're provided with the words and the tunes are easy to pick up so there's no excuse.

People dressing more casually for church has been happening for a long time so I'm not surprised by that, but I don't understand sexy clothes as if for a nightclub. If that makes me judgemental then so be it.

Are carpenters and working clothes are not allowed?

It's this kind of judgment that puts me off attending a church.
Jesus accepts everybody. He didn't dress up.

He was born in a stable. He aligned himself with the poor and the disadvantaged. It's about how you behave not what you wear.

The make up of the C of E is biased in various ways - race, age and class. I say this as someone who attends regularly. We are, for the most part, a white, older, middle class institution and we need to work to change that. I think there is tacit class bias (I'm not saying overt prejudice but rather unconscious bias) going on here. I think you are judging people on what they wear because clothes are bound up in our culture with a whole bunch of signifiers of class and many who don't attend church regularly but do attend for special occasions are more likely to come from a working class background.
If we as a church are ever going to be genuinely welcoming we have to stop caring about this crap. Church is come as you are. Wear what you want, bring your problems, bring your strengths, be yourself. You are welcome, just as you are.

I'm an Atheist but surely referring to other churchgoers as 'ghastly individuals' and looking down on them would be a more grievous error for a Christian than attending church while wearing jeans?

@delboysskinandblister

I think some people look for a reason to be put off by the church.

No one at church blinks an eye at a pair of jeans being worn or a uniform.

I think what makes people look twice is if someone is wearing inappropriate clothing (e.g crop tops/shorts) to a place of worship.

I think christenings can be difficult to dress for as they don't really justify a new outfit, but many people don't have the right sort of clothes. I tend to wear a work dress, but not everyone has the sort of job where they have smart-casual clothes. I think 'smart' Jeans in black or dark blue are fine with a nice top or shirt and clean pair of shoes or boots. I've struggled at christenings with teenagers, as my boys only had jeans, tracksuit bottoms, trainers or school shoes.

I regularly attend church and wear jeans and a t shirt usually. I wouldn't wear that to a christening though.
Of course God doesn't care what you wear to church. But it's surely as much about respecting the importance of that particular occasion to the family of the child? I wouldn't wear jeans and a t shirt to wedding either - whenever it's being held.

@Seniorcitizen1 I completely agree, at a close relatives funeral recently everyone was very smart bar one “distant relative” who looked like she had just rolled out of bed and was popping to the supermarket. It felt very disrespectful tbh that she couldn’t at least run an iron over her outfit if that’s all she had to wear

*wherever not whenever

The make up of the C of E is biased in various ways - race, age and class. I say this as someone who attends regularly. We are, for the most part, a white, older, middle class institution and we need to work to change that. I think there is tacit class bias (I'm not saying overt prejudice but rather unconscious bias) going on here. I think you are judging people on what they wear because clothes are bound up in our culture with a whole bunch of signifiers of class and many who don't attend church regularly but do attend for special occasions are more likely to come from a working class background.

If we as a church are ever going to be genuinely welcoming we have to stop caring about this crap. Church is come as you are. Wear what you want, bring your problems, bring your strengths, be yourself. You are welcome, just as you are.

That's all very nice and noble of you @stripydeckchair, but to come to an event like a Christening or wedding in the clothes you would do your gardening in, is a pisstake, and very disrespectful.

Also speak for yourself about the Church being white, middle-class, and old people. The Church in my village is a mixture of middle class 20-something and 30-something couples, (some with kids some not,) working class single mothers, (and couples with kids,) a few very elderly people, some middle aged folk, and half a dozen Asian and black families. We don't need to 'work on' anything.

People don't attend Church because they can't be arsed, and many claim they are atheist, but, like I said, they like to use the Church for their convenience when they get married, for the 'pretty surroundings,' and also to get their kids christened. They never attend again, EVER, after the wedding or Christening.

The Church is good enough to use for their convenience, but not to attend any other time apparently.

I come from a churchgoing family and to me, it doesn't matter what you're wearing, but if you're coming in, at least have a bash at the hymns. Every verse is usually the same as the first one and you have the words, so have a bloody try.

It's not about you as an individual feeling daft/hypocritical or whatever, but about the group fellowship and it's part of the deal. I don't care if you don't believe a word of what you are singing, if you're not religious, it's not like anything bad is going to happen is it? And others who do believe will really appreciate your contribution.

I completely agree with stripydeckchair.

Making judgements of other people is inherently wrong & Jesus preached against is many times. Yet it's odd that there are so many church going Christians on this thread who still fail to understand that.

Jesus was besties with Mary Magdalene who was a prostitute. In todays world, she'd be wearing the very clothes you are judging others for. Is your judge-mentalism based in genuine hypocrisy or just plain idiocy?

So knock yourself out going to church, you're still not going to heaven because you just don't seem to get it.

BTW - I'm an Atheist. Not all good people go to church, not all church going people are good - as this thread clearly shows.

I don't believe for a moment that all 30 people of not terribly young age don't know All Things Bright and Beautiful or Give Me Oil in My Lamp. Men just staring at the hymn sheet, even if you don't know it there's a tune and the words, give it a bash!

Thanks to the poster who declared, as if it is fact, that I'm not going to heaven - I thought we were blessed to have Meghan Markles nearest and dearest of MN but didn't know we had St Peter himself

God may not judge but don't people owe it to the parents of the child (who they presumably love/like) to dress smartly? Would you go to a wedding in jeans and a t-shirt?

I very rarely find myself in church but I'm not going to sing or pray when I do so. My lack of belief is as important to me as your belief, so I am not comfortable with singing hymns or making anything that seems like a declaration of faith to me. Also it doesn't feel at all respectful to me to join in when I know that I don't believe a word of it.

BTW - I'm an Atheist.

No, really?
As you're so keen on biblical evidence, I'm sure you're aware that there is absolutely none that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute. That's a later tradition.

@12548ehe9fnfobms

Agree that jeans etc are absoutley fine for church but need a degree of modesty for respect of surroundings.

Just a few points about other points of your argument:

Jesus told us not to judge others however, he also told people (e.g the woman being accused of adultery) to 'go and sin no more'. Jesus certainly judged (and whipped at) those people in the temple behaving inappropriately. We should certainly only rebuke others out of Christian charity but we are also called not to ignore sin. And we should readily forgive as well.

1. Mary Magdalene being a prositute is almost certainly just one of the images that have been used to portray her throughout the ages. It's absoutley not a certain fact that she was a prositute.

I actually think the vast majority of church-goers on the thread have been in agreement that jeans etc. are fine as long as it is appropriate to the respectful surroundings.

"I very rarely find myself in church but I'm not going to sing or pray when I do so. My lack of belief is as important to me as your belief, so I am not comfortable with singing hymns or making anything that seems like a declaration of faith to me. "

Why would you go to a church service then? If I was having a christening and had a friend who felt like this, I'd just tell them to come for the sandwiches afterwards.

@BlueStockingUK

Dictionary definition of devout:
Merriam-Webster

devout adjective
de·vout | \di-ˈvau̇t

Definition of devout
1 : committed or devoted to religion or to religious duties or exercises
a devout Catholic
2 : expressing piety or religious fervor : expressing devotion
a devout attitude
3a : devoted to a pursuit, belief, or mode of behavior : SERIOUS, EARNEST
a devout baseball fan
born a devout coward
— G. B. Shaw
b : warmly sincere
a devout wish for peace

So yes, someone can be described as a devout atheist using the 3a definition of the word.

" I've struggled at christenings with teenagers, as my boys only had jeans, tracksuit bottoms, trainers or school shoes."

Didn't they have school trousers?
Most people can find trousers/skirt and a top surely?

I actively avoid going to church services. I only attend for funerals and the occasional wedding.

If you're not going to pray or sing as some part of personal anti-religous protest then please have the courage of your convictions and don't come to church. It's very disrespectful