To wonder what's going on with Christenings these days?

[GunpowderGelatine]

Just been to a Christening and is it just me or have they changed in recent times? Not the way they're run (although there's definitely less Holy "stuff" to accommodate for non believers I suppose) but the way guests are. Today there's countless guests in jeans and t-shirts (men) or trainers and women have mini dresses and bodycon dresses on. This includes god parents. Sorry, I'm no prude, but you're in church not a nightclub. And no one sings the hymns! It was basically me and the vicar singing (which was painful all round TBH I'm tone deaf ) well known hymns as well. Is it just me or is this the norm now? one I was at last hear was similar and they had EIGHT godparents

In my church (Church of Scotland), christenings take place during normal services, so the whole regular congregation are present, along with any guests the baby’s family invite.
That means there are loads of us who know the tunes and can sing the hymns enthusiastically! It’s also part of our tradition that the whole congregation takes a vow to help raise the baby as a Christian, not just the parents.
As for dress - our church welcomes everyone, whatever they’re wearing. God loves you for your soul, not your designer outfit (or in my case, old jeans and a fleece!).
If you want to dress up in your gladrags, do it for the parents or the “after show party” - don’t for a moment think you need to do it for God or us regulars in the pews.

Have a party to welcome your baby by all means, but why pretend to be religious by going to church and getting them Christened? I don't get that at all. Or Godparents - someone who is supposed to look after the religious wellbeing of your child through life. Not just your best mate at the time

I absolutely agree and I think naming ceremonies are lovely opportunities to do this. I've only agreed to be a godparent to actually give spiritual guidance to a child, and have said no to non Christian friends

When DD was Christianed my friend arrived at the house beforehand and I asked her (in front of people!) if she wanted to get changed in my room, obviously she was wearing the clothes she was going to wear. I don’t know why I thought she’d have driven to mine in a different outfit. Apart from her boots looked like slippers. Was a bit embarrrassing at the time, luckily she’s got a good sense of humour and a thick skin and didn’t hold it against me! (As far as I know )

I agree. I would no more wear jeans to Mass than I'd go in the nip.
I'm not fussed about others though, it's a personal thing.
The large church on the estate where mine and DH's families live and where we were brought up recognise that most people these days are not as familiar with hymns as in the past when daily worship was compulsory in schools.
For occasions like Christenings, Weddings and Funerals, a Karaoke type back track is quietly played and seems to help the occasion along without the embarrassment of just the Vicar and 1or 2 of the congregation singing.
Seems to work well.

I hate to say this but when people from other countries say us Brits don't know how to dress I do think they have a point

Yes, I feel like I really struggle to ever find nice clothing that isn't going to give me hyperthermia, or that actually fits my whole arm or leg length, that isn't garish or sparkly and that doesn't look cheap.

its not just christenings but weddings i have been to recently some guests were in jeans and scruffy shirt , no tie etc.
one the couple had a small and very nice wedding, they had obviously made an effort for their day the guests, so lovely location, beautiful flowers, nice drinks and canapes and a really delicious dinner...and the guests cannot be arsed to put a pair od decent trousers and a smart shirt on.
I think it is rude , if you are invited to an event or occasion you can at least turn up looking like you have made some effort.

**No women can’t just wear what they want. Men can’t either. Churches are places where you should dress with respect, it’s not a nightclub. Women certainly can’t wear a skimpy dress anywhere they like - you wouldn’t wear one to work for example in most circumstances.

That’s a ridiculous statement to make.**

^Completely agree. I find it disrespectful when people don’t dress accordingly for a special event.

I don't think it's jeans per se. It's that people don't seem to make any kind of effort these days. I wouldn't dream of wearing jeans to a church service, and I'm an Atheist (who does sing the hymns, since I have an ok voice still). It's a matter of respect to the people for whom the service is for. I'd do the same for a dinner party etc.

Catholic here.

I've never seen any problems with jeans/jumper at an ordinary church service. However, we should show a degree of modesty i.e shorts, tank tops, mini dresses, male vest tops are not appropriate, just as these items are not appropriate for an interview or work.

For special occasions, I would expect guests to make some effort e.g a nice shirt for men. Doesn't have to be designer labels etc but just represent that an effort has been made.

If you think what people wear to Christenings is outrageous you shou, a Catholic Confirmation service when the 14/15 year olds confirm their baptism vows as young adults. For a lot of the girls it’s their first time to dress ‘grown up’ in a formal situation and the outfits can be outrageous. It’s their first time wearing heels and they wobble up the altar like little Bambis on ice. But they are there and they have shown commitment by attending confirmation classes for months beforehand. It’s a pleasure to witness it and I am reasonably sure Jesus won’t care what they are wearing as long as they are there and happy.

I think the singing comes down to school.
When I was at school we had a daily worship and always sang hymns.
Nowadays most schools don't do this. They have assembly but don't necessarily sing hymns.
I do agree about having a sense of occassion. I can't rock up to work in jeans I have to adhere to the dress code even though I am quite capable of performing my job in jeans.
I also find that in general women take more pride in their appearance than women, hence women in dresses men in t shirts and trainers.

A lot of people don't seem to have any smart clothes. Either it ends up with their least dirty jeans, or they interpret going smart as 'night out' dressing up.

My old vicar had the right idea. "I could repair the roof if I could charge a flesh tax instead of the marriage/baptism fee."

But nothing so vulgar as to judge.

We (my close family) find church occasions very hard to dress for - thankfully they are very infrequent. We never have appropriate clothes and it seems a waste to buy new trousers, shirt, tie for the 2 DS and . I think many people struggle and try to wear something that is their "best" but most people go out to entertainment venues than church so possibly this is why it happens.

PS I don't sing the hymns for 2 reasons (1) I have no idea of the tune or what I am supposed to be singing. (2) I just don't believe in what they say.

winsinbin
If you think what people wear to Christenings is outrageous you shou, a Catholic Confirmation service when the 14/15 year olds confirm their baptism vows as young adults.

That's what I found so odd about the christening I went to - people spend ridiculous amounts on First Communion and Confirmation. The cleaning lady (single mother on minimum wage) in a place I used to work told me she was spending €1500 on her son's First Communion.

I don't think it matters what someone wears to church, doctrinally speaking. And I see the point that if you're a regular you ought to be welcoming to people.

But I will admit, every time I see someone wearing 4 inch LK Bennett sledges and a mini skirt doing the awkward walk to the font I wince, because it is surprisingly hard to cope with a baby who's about to squall with fury at being dunked in cold water, while standing on what's usually a bit of an uneven floor, and juggling a lit candle and a service book.

IMO vicars need to be better at explaining to godparents beforehand that they might want to think about the logistics!

At my church smart casual is the norm and christening happen as part of the main sunday service.
I couldn't get wound up about jeans but do think it's poor form for people not to dress appropriately for occasions. (E.g. men in vests and baggy shorts / women in crop tops and short shorts aren't for church)

My husband and I are of an age where we were brought up with "Sunday Best" clothes for church and we brought our children up the same way. I still wear smarter clothes for church than I wear to go to the supermarket. But my husband went to church this morning in jeans, t shirt and jumper.

Three of our adult children were with us. One wore a dress, one wore jeans and a smart top and one wore jeans with a t shirt that read "No - not today Satan!" But if we went to a more traditional church we would wear different clothes.

If you walk in to our church you are welcome in whatever you are wearing - ripped jeans, vest top, body con mini dres - "Man looks at the outside, God looks at the heart."

What’s wrong with a body on dress?

alien
In itself nothing. I've seen some nice fitted jersey dresses that i would wear happily, but the clubbing style short/low bodycon dresses aren't appropriate for church, just like they arent appropriate in the workplace.

Some people think dressing up means night on the town attire and obviously that's far from the case.

Been to a funeral before where some mourners were dressed “inappropriately” - 2 young women (about 16-20 years old) in hot pants, fishnet tights killer heels and bustiers. And maybe the poor bloke who’s funeral it was would have actually liked that. But I don’t think his mum, nan and aunties did. The man in joggers, white undervest (with massive yellow stains round the armpits) and flip flops left an impression too

Never noticed people failing to dress nicely for christenings or weddings. I don’t go to many of those though.

Got to agree OP, for a christening I would always get dressed up and make an effort with my Sunday best!!

For normal mass it would be normal attire!

The last Christening I went to was Greek Orthodox, before that DS (6) and a few of his contemporaries.
Everyone dressed in a similar way- smart casual. What we would wear to a wedding but less ties/ no hats/ fascinators. This would include bodycon dresses for the younger generation (I’m 41 so not me!) as it’s their idea of Sunday best.
Hymns- I always have a good sing! However I’m noticing less traditional hymns are sung in schools now (bring back the Come and Praise hymn book!) so again younger people wouldn’t know them. If you don’t know the song well, in a small congregation without the choir it sounds terrible.
I guess what’s important is that they have decided to introduce the child to God? For us DH was brought up in the Church and is confirmed. He was certain he wanted DS Christened. For me (basically CofE but not a big believer)it was a thank you for the gift of a child, after 3 years infertility. Our vicar felt these were great reasons.
I also enjoyed planning the bun fight afterwards

I’m not religious and neither of my children have been christened, but if someone is having any kind of significant occasion (wedding, christening, funeral) I would always dress smartly unless specifically told it was a casual event. And yes I too would judge if people turned up dressed for a night club. It’s nothing to do with feminism. It’s about respect.