Fucking bitches

[LindaLa]

Up until very recently (last night), I had a group of 4 very close friends.

I recently had an upset of a childhood (sexual) trauma that I've told no one about. One of my friends was here when this happened and I opened up to her, she was supportive and i felt great, lighter.

Last night we all meet for drinks and exchange gifts. We all exchange various supermarket vouchers and have done since our "babies" were babies.

She makes a comment about a paedofile arrest made near her and then says "surprised you don't know him Linda, you were paedofile fodder"
Other people laugh and start questioning me about what happened.

She has told them everything.

I being questioned in a bar. A crowded bar.

I have grabbed my things and left.

Took their things out of my car and left them on the kerb.
I have blocked them. Everywhere.

I have been to supermarkets and spent all the vouchers, put it all in the food bank.

Fuck them.

That's awful.
But you should tell anyone who asks what they did.

Oh wow. How low can some people go? I bet the friend who knew first just loved being the centre of attention when she told the others a story that wasn't hers to tell. And then they had the absolute nerve to treat your story like a soap opera (or worse, some sort of sitcom for their amusement).

I'm so sorry they put you through this Linda. I'm not sure there is an apology big enough and sincere enough to overcome this.

to you. And unmumsnetty hugs.

I would not be at all surprised if the adult children were put up to texting you just to see how the water lies. I am so sorry you have been betrayed.

Oh OP I'm so sorry your "friends" behaved so appallingly.

No doubt the confident was an utter cunt, but is there any chance the others are true friends who were blindsided in the moment and didn't for a second realise how horrific it was? Could it have been nervous laughter, shock and disbelief it could be serious given how other friend joked about it?

That's appalling of your soul called friends.

When I left my last abusive ex, who was coercing me into sex I didn't want constantly, I confided in my two friends while I was in a women's refuge. Next thing I know, people all over the town were talking about how I was telling the world he had raped me and blah blah. Not only was my business shared with people I didn't know by one of the friends, but my words were distorted completely. It made things very difficult on regards to my getting our things back from the ex, and whilst he was an arse, he didn't deserve the level of trouble he was getting either. Police got involved. Luckily because the friend who wronged me was harassing me with vile texts over the course of a week, the police asked for her details so they could speak with her and it stopped.

But what I'm getting at, is I know how it feels to lose your closest friends in a moment.

It's really hard and isolating. But you're so much better off without people who think nothing of treating you and your very personal business this way.

From that moment I decided to be seriously picky with who I spend my time with. I now have the smallest handful of people I trust. Two live hundreds of miles away, one is in the next biiiiig town, one is in the even closer smaller town.

Don't ever settle for anyone who isn't a perfect friend.

My friends are as broken as I am which is probably part of the reason we are so tight knit.

I hope you come through this soon and you don't get any problems from it.

Are they users of mumsnet OP?

I hope that they read this post and feel utterly ashamed of their absolutely appalling behaviour!

You did absolutely the right thing in leaving and blocking them! You have shown a great deal of class and dignity in your response. Something your ex friends clearly lack!

That you used your friends vouchers to help those most in need, shows that you are the far better person!

I am so sorry that you have been treated so badly by people who should have been there for you, like you have been there for them! You deserve better friends!

What absolutely evil harpies! I wouldn't say that about my worst enemy and they call themselves friends? You absolutely did the right thing - I think you were very restrained just leaving their things on the kerb, I'd have been inclined to drive to the nearest river and chuck it all in myself. And you're a star for thinking of the food bank too.

Glad you've got a house full of support - DH is ex-military and they absolutely do close ranks when one of them or a loved one is hurt.

I'm glad your son is there to look after you op. What a bunch of vicious evil bitches. You're right, they don't deserve you. Don't feel bad about leaving their stuff on the street. That's the least they deserved.

I wouldn't tell the children what happened. I think your text was perfect. Their mum can tell them herself what she did if she wants them to know. You don't need the drama.

I have no words but just wanted to add a post of support 💪

Your better off without them definitely, good for you standing up to them. Who on earth thinks it's acceptable to laugh and joke about abuse.

Also, to everyone saying that maybe the others were just caught up in the moment - they already knew what had happened as Thundercunt had already spread the story. They had plenty of time to approach OP to warn her about the breach of privacy and not to trust her. They didn't.

Your son and his friends sound great.

Bloody hell, what the hell?! Well done you for actually leaving and blocking them etc! X

Absolutely terrible behaviour from them. You're so brave OP.

Evil bastards. Unbelievable. Fucking hell OP!

But what is awesome is the strength and immediacy of your reaction - you acted, left their shit on the kerb and blocked them. Well done 💪🏼

Good text response to their adult child.
Hold your head high as that is where it deserves to be. Glad your son and his friends are with you.

Just seen your update. WTF's she upset for? Bloody good if so!
And I never usually say that about anyone.
Impressed by your maturity, must have been so tempting to tell them!
As you say though, more upset isn't it and they haven't done anything wrong.
Let the cow stew, I don't think I could have anything to do with her after that.
Drink makes us say daft things, but that is unforgivable.

You're all cunts, I love you

This is my favourite line in a mumsnet post. You sound like my sort of person. Fuck them. They are awful twats who don't deserve another thought.

Fucking fuck them to hell.

And amazing that you took everything to a food bank. You are clearly worth a thousand of these twat badgers.xx

@DanielRicciardosSmile

I hadn't thought of that!
Just gets worse!

The problem is I am always a happy, smiley person. Nobody ever thinks anything could be wrong with me.

I don't tell anybody anything.

Lesson learned.

Linda, I am so so sorry this has happened to you. The abuse, tne shock of a recent trigger, and the behaviour of your friend (s).

Over the next few days you might want to think about writing to them all. Tell them that it was extremely traumatic and upsetting to you to have your confidentiality broken, tne abuse spoken of in disrespectful language, and your most painful issues spoken about as ‘chat’ in a public bar and that is why you left so suddenly and are not able to speak with them, and were not prepared to explain to their children what happened. Ask them to respect your cjnfudence from now on and not repeat what they heard from your ‘friend ‘.

It is horrific, but it is possible that the others took their cue from ‘friend’ and didn’t realise what they were dealing with.

Though quite why they haven’t approached you, I don’t know. They might, as the day goes on.

Take care of yourself, you have been very badly treated. I am glad you gave their gifts to the food bank: good move. Someone will appreciate that.

I have no words to describe them. And probably wouldn't waste the breath.
You however are one awesome lady. Keep your chin up xx

There are no words Linda ..... I'm so sorry this happened to you.
I hope you can feel the love and support, in this thread.
Your message was perfect. Your so called friend's tears, were for herself. Don't give any of them another second of your time or energy. 💐

I'm so sad on your behalf. I'm so sorry for you. You absolutely did the right thing, well done. They acted beyond awfully.

Huge hug.

Words fail me on how anyone could possibly think "paedophile fodder" was funny drunk or sober.
Ops friend had already told them all they weren't caught out, yet they all thought it funny and thought she should know another paedo? Its beyond sick stop making fucking excuses for them!

Op you handled it brilliantly and with dignity. Glad your baby boy is there with his mates to support you. Hope he rips anyone who dares to call a new one.
[Flowers]