Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Fucking bitches

616 replies

LindaLa · 30/12/2018 11:39

Up until very recently (last night), I had a group of 4 very close friends.

I recently had an upset of a childhood (sexual) trauma that I've told no one about. One of my friends was here when this happened and I opened up to her, she was supportive and i felt great, lighter.

Last night we all meet for drinks and exchange gifts. We all exchange various supermarket vouchers and have done since our "babies" were babies.

She makes a comment about a paedofile arrest made near her and then says "surprised you don't know him Linda, you were paedofile fodder"
Other people laugh and start questioning me about what happened.

She has told them everything.

I being questioned in a bar. A crowded bar.

I have grabbed my things and left.

Took their things out of my car and left them on the kerb.
I have blocked them. Everywhere.

I have been to supermarkets and spent all the vouchers, put it all in the food bank.

Fuck them.

OP posts:
cstaff · 31/12/2018 22:18

Hey Linda. I'm so glad your thread got reinstated. I was going through it yesterday in awe of you and your calm way of dealing with these so called friends when it was taken down.

Your son sounds awesome. You mind yourself and Happy New Year. Flowers

Original poster
LindaLa · 31/12/2018 22:23

I have decided that anybody who asks me about it, I'm going to tell them what they did.

I have no shame.

I gave shoved my son and other lads out the door.

Forcing them to go enjoy New Years (terrible mother) and am enjoying a bit of quiet!

OP posts:
Original poster
LindaLa · 31/12/2018 22:25

Have not gave!

OP posts:
Bound · 31/12/2018 22:30

I think that’s the best way OP. If people ask just tell them exactly what happened. You have nothing to be ashamed of but since they’re glossing it over they clearly know they do.

Original poster
LindaLa · 31/12/2018 22:35

Someone questioned about the supermarkets vouchers we exchanged.
It is odd but it's a tradition.
Started when one moved at Christmas and we all gave them vouchers without others knowing.

Just became a running joke.

OP posts:
Stressedout10 · 31/12/2018 22:38

I'm glad your thread is back up please ignore the nasty people on here
and have a happy new year

Lizzie48 · 31/12/2018 22:43

@Upanddownandroundagain

No way was it an attempt to support the OP! Calling her pedophile fodder fgs, how could that ever be support! No, it was totally sick, and calling them bitches is completely apt, sadly.

Troll hunters, lay off. Do you have any idea how hard it is to speak up about childhood SA? The OP has also been mocked by so-called friends, it was horrible that she was then faced with the troll hunting brigade on here. Hmm

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 31/12/2018 22:49

I'm glad your thread got reinstated OP. I'm so sorry this happened and think you have dealt with it amazingly well and I hope my children turn out as nice as yours!

Just one possible thing...obviously I was bad of your friend to tell others and horrific of her to make a 'joke' out if it in public and I don't think that is forgivable. However if I'd been one of your other friends I'd probably have been too gobsmacked to react. It takes me a while to process things especially situations where people act inappropriately and if it was me there, you'd have probably left before I'd had chance to acknowledge your awful 'friend'and call her out on her behaviour (which I would do once it had sunk in). But in situations like that I often freeze and my brain just doesn't work. Like if someone has awful news I have to fight the urge to laugh just because it's inappropriate and my brain just can't keep up.

If they haven't contacted you since to apologise then ignore all this, and of course you know them best and if none of this applies. I hope you don't think I'm trying to make excuses for awful behaviour. I just wanted to explain why if it was me may not have instantly jumped to your defence when I should have done if that makes sense.

Anyway I hope you have an amazing new year

Toughtips · 31/12/2018 22:49

What stuff did you leave?
Good for you X

MrsJDornan · 31/12/2018 22:51

I'm glad you have made your son go the party he should be able to enjoy with his friends even if their parents are idiots

I hope you are doing ok Op Thanks

Flappypants · 31/12/2018 22:53

That's one of the nastiest things I've read on Mumsnet. I haven't RTFT but sending hugs x

Santaclarita · 31/12/2018 22:53

They are truly vile things. Can't call them people, they aren't human.

Though you may not have received messages after unblocking them because I think once you block you receive no messages or notifications even after unblocking, for while they were blocked. But that depends on the service too.

If their kids ask again, just tell them what their vile mothers did. They can know the truth. They won't get it from the scum.

barleyreed · 31/12/2018 22:57

Oh my goodness OP, how can anyone laugh at the most awful thing you have been through, let alone supposed friends. Fuck them indeed! What a wonderful son you have, just hope my two DS grow up to be so loving and supportive. Thanks for all you have been through Xxx

Original poster
LindaLa · 31/12/2018 23:02

@Toughtips

Stuff they didn't want to take into bar.
Coats and bags - no purses they had them with them.
I was the only one that drove there.

OP posts:
michwright · 31/12/2018 23:08

With friends like that you really don't need enemies!
Maybe go see go and be put forward for counselling, sorry this has happened to you x

Toughtips · 31/12/2018 23:12

Brilliant. X

Begrateful · 31/12/2018 23:15

Oh god, that's such an awful experience OP. They are insensitive evil bitches who don't deserves your time in 2019. Good riddence to them as you move forward into the new year.

CoughLaughFart · 31/12/2018 23:34

HQ - given how many people reported this thread, could you explain why it was a) pulled and b) reinstated?

Original poster
LindaLa · 31/12/2018 23:40

@CoughLaughFart

I don't think they will.

I've asked them to put a message on here too.

OP posts:
JohnMcCainsDeathStare · 31/12/2018 23:47

For anyone wondering why large groups of people can be so stupid and ignorant - here is a small group of people being stupid and ignorant. Your ex-friends love the taste of bullshit-flavoured Kool-Aid more than you. They'd rather have some salacious gossip than ever consider the real person who has had a terrible thing happen.
This kind of reminds me of the McCartney Sisters - they lost a brother/fiance to someone almost certainly connected to the P-IRA but rather than help them their home town closed ranks - they live in England now.

OP, you may find you have better friends in unexpected places but be glad they are out of your life now.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 01/01/2019 00:04

Also glad that your thread got re-instated, Linda - it does happen sometimes, when the trollhunters are wrong.

Hope your boy and his friends have a good NY party - and Happy New Year to you! xx

Bumbalaya · 01/01/2019 00:07

Oh My god what an insensitive arsehole. With friends like that, who needs enemies? Get yourself some new friends Asap.
You've done the right thing. Flowers

CrimpBrunette · 01/01/2019 00:36

Well done OP Flowers
And Happy New Year! New year, new friends! Wine

QuackPorridgeBacon · 01/01/2019 00:39

What awful people. Clearly sick fucks and you’re better off without them.

Joanne721 · 01/01/2019 00:51

People only know what you tell them.Never tell anyone anything.Seeking Counselling is much betterFlowers

Swipe left for the next trending thread