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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Fucking bitches

616 replies

LindaLa · 30/12/2018 11:39

Up until very recently (last night), I had a group of 4 very close friends.

I recently had an upset of a childhood (sexual) trauma that I've told no one about. One of my friends was here when this happened and I opened up to her, she was supportive and i felt great, lighter.

Last night we all meet for drinks and exchange gifts. We all exchange various supermarket vouchers and have done since our "babies" were babies.

She makes a comment about a paedofile arrest made near her and then says "surprised you don't know him Linda, you were paedofile fodder"
Other people laugh and start questioning me about what happened.

She has told them everything.

I being questioned in a bar. A crowded bar.

I have grabbed my things and left.

Took their things out of my car and left them on the kerb.
I have blocked them. Everywhere.

I have been to supermarkets and spent all the vouchers, put it all in the food bank.

Fuck them.

OP posts:
SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 30/12/2018 15:51

I dont really have the words to describe how horrifically your so called friends have treated you.

There are no words, really. From the thread it seems that they've all been friends for 20+ years, and their children all socialise together, then out of the blue they orchestrate a horribly cruel public attack on the OP for no reason at all.

It's just insane.

Original poster
LindaLa · 30/12/2018 15:51

@SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst

There is a big new year party held by a mutual friend of my son and covens (love this!) kids.

As far as I know there is a rumour of a spat between us.,.,

OP posts:
Wowserme · 30/12/2018 15:54

If I’d been one of the friends I would have followed Toomanypaws out and left with her... I would also have been trying to contact her to make sure she was alright.
I take my hat off to you TMP, you’ve done yourself proud! 🤗

Florries · 30/12/2018 15:56

Do you think any of the thundercunt gang will we at the party playing the victim?

Willow2017 · 30/12/2018 15:56

Why are you cross with them all?

Maybe because they laughed at her being described as "paedophile fodder" and began to quiz her on her child abuse in a packed pub?

In what universe is that ok?

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 30/12/2018 15:56

There is a big new year party held by a mutual friend of my son and covens (love this!) kids.
As far as I know there is a rumour of a spat between us.,.,

Oh well, I guess as it's hosted by a mutual friend, and the children weren't part of any of the awful events of last night, the party won't be affected, rumours of spats notwithstanding.

MrsDannyRicc · 30/12/2018 15:58

If you do open a group chat, you need to be more specific.

'I told 'x' and thought it would be in confidence, but it turns out that not only was it gossip between the 4 of you, you think it amusing enough to describe me as 'pedophile fodder', like I was just an object to be played with. Not only that, you did this in a busy bar.

The way you spoke about me was unforgiveable, make no mistake about it. You might have decided amongst yourselves that I have over-reacted, but I can promise you I have spoken about the events of last night to a lot of people, and all of them, without exception, think that the way you spoke was shocking, uncalled for and that you are a 'insert favourite insult from this thread here.

What happened to me was horrific. I wouldn't wish that kind of trauma on anyone. Not even people that seem to find it amusing'.

Clearly they need it spelt out if they can't figure out what they actually did wrong.

ElspethFlashman · 30/12/2018 15:59

My goodness.

How extraordinary.

Willow2017 · 30/12/2018 15:59

What utter cowards trying to use thier kids to get round you Op.

Bet they are feeling bad and want you to make them feel better. Fuck em.

Your son is awesome what a great reply to them.

Sounds like the rumour mill is up and running to cover thier backs before you tell anyone what utter bitches they are.

Beaverhausen · 30/12/2018 16:01

OMG! OP that is utterly disgusting.

TwistedStitch · 30/12/2018 16:02

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kaytee87 · 30/12/2018 16:03

Fucking cunts

Holidayshopping · 30/12/2018 16:03

@TwistedStitch completely.

subspace · 30/12/2018 16:04

@PattiStanger

I could go with that, except that I can't think of a single way that a message along the lines of "lindala got sexually abused as a child" with the exact wording used in the pub being paedofodder COULD be misunderstood to be light hearted and funny. Can you?

BumbleBeee69 · 30/12/2018 16:04

I’m literally stunned by these vile people. Well done OP.

Wetdressinggownsleeve · 30/12/2018 16:05

Oh my goodness OP what a bunch of bitches.

I was going to go out on NYE but I think I'll stay in glued to this thread (pt 2 or maybe even 3!) to see you unleash hell on these BF's (bitchy fuckers).

SnappedandFartedagain · 30/12/2018 16:05

Sorry to ask but do you think they are actually upset about your reaction to the conversation in the pub, or mainly upset with you leaving their stuff on the pavement? Do they even know about their stuff, and what was it?

It’s just that I have known several people like this before, and they rarely have the self awareness to understand they are in the wrong.

PattiStanger · 30/12/2018 16:05

That's my point twistedstitch, that's why I suggested she unblock and find out what's actually been said - or were you trying to troll hunt in a sneery way, hard to tell with the written word

DanielleEvans · 30/12/2018 16:07

I cannot believe someone would actually say 'paedophile fodder'. How absolutely vile and disgusting

Lizzie48 · 30/12/2018 16:09

*Why are you cross with them all?
*
^*Maybe because they laughed at her being described as "paedophile fodder" and began to quiz her on her child abuse in a packed pub?

In what universe is that ok?*^

Precisely. And add to that the fact that for someone who has been through childhood SA, the worst thing about it is the abuse of trust. It makes it very hard to trust anyone, or allow anyone close to you.

Her friend's behaviour was another abuse of trust, and her other friends participated in that by laughing at the first friend's vile comment.

PattiStanger · 30/12/2018 16:10

@subspace sometimes people don't know how to react to horrific things, inappropriate laughing is a thing isnt it? The OP has described a very unusual situation, I'd be prepared to hear my otherwise good friends pov wouldn't you?

riotlady · 30/12/2018 16:11

OP I’ve known some vile bitches in my time but that takes the cake. I’m so sorry they betrayed your trust like that.

subspace · 30/12/2018 16:18

@PattiStanger yes fair enough I see your point.

Abuse (both the original and the abuse of trust) comes with a side helping of disempowerment. I'm absolutely loving that OP sounds empowered as fuck to do whatever she feels is right for her, right now, and long may that continue! Grin

EllaDownTheLane · 30/12/2018 16:18

I’m still picking my jaw up off the floor! what they said/did was insanely cruel.

Lizzie48 · 30/12/2018 16:18

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