Fucking bitches

[LindaLa]

Up until very recently (last night), I had a group of 4 very close friends.

I recently had an upset of a childhood (sexual) trauma that I've told no one about. One of my friends was here when this happened and I opened up to her, she was supportive and i felt great, lighter.

Last night we all meet for drinks and exchange gifts. We all exchange various supermarket vouchers and have done since our "babies" were babies.

She makes a comment about a paedofile arrest made near her and then says "surprised you don't know him Linda, you were paedofile fodder"
Other people laugh and start questioning me about what happened.

She has told them everything.

I being questioned in a bar. A crowded bar.

I have grabbed my things and left.

Took their things out of my car and left them on the kerb.
I have blocked them. Everywhere.

I have been to supermarkets and spent all the vouchers, put it all in the food bank.

Fuck them.

You are an amazing woman. You are well shot of these duplicitous, sneering cows who clearly have no moral fibre or sense of loyalty. Onwards and upwards, free of the dross for a new year.

I'm in awe about how you've handled this, OP, with your self-esteem in tact. I too suffered abuse and your strength in the face of such shitty cunty 'friends' has inspired me.

New Year Resolution: #BeMoreLikeLinda

It'll hit them harder though I've just had it pointed out to me how much I do for them.

They are big in throwing massive extravagant parties but not knowing logistics e.g catering, seating, decorations, table gifts, flowers etc
Even details of hotels, b&bs etc.
I cover all this.

Maybe they'll realise there's more to life that fannying around in Oscar De La Renta!

That's apart from being the shoulder..,,
Fuck them.

Also it's been radio silence for my son...

Linda, you sound like an incredible woman. You’ve handled this with so much class and strength- I hope you’re really proud of yourself because you should be. Using the vouchers to donate to a food bank, when your mind was no doubt all over the place at that time, was a really amazing gesture. And you showed such restraint leaving their belongings on the kerb rather than, I don’t know, going back into the bar and throwing it in their faces.

Your son and his friends sound wonderful too. You’ve obviously done a great job of raising him to be tactful, respectful and supportive.

for you. I’m sorry your friends are so shit but 2019 can be the year you make new friends who aren’t total cunts.

PS: Your plea to the Daily Mail really made me laugh. Fingers crossed they pick it up!

I'm so sorry. Some people have no idea of confidentiality and are quite insensitive. I've had such experience and it's like being abused again.

I was stunned when I read your post, OP. I have a friend who suffered repeated sexual abuse in childhood; she's worked for years to come to terms with it, but talking about it is still very traumatic. What you describe would be devastating, and I would not fucking forgive someone who did it.

Love and support from me. I'll light a candle for you.

Linda, have you considered sending the adult children a link to this thread?

@QwertyLou

I did really like them. That's why it's such a shock.

She has a habit of throw away comments but I always put that down to her upbringing.

Gosh! What a disgusting phrase. Just stunned. So pleased you were able to get yourself out of there. Well done. Hold your head up high OP and ignore them.

You have handled this like an absolute warrior! Well done OP, for you. Your son sounds amazing also.

I can't believe I've just read this. OP you ate very strong and they have lost a great friend because of their own idiotic, and quite disgusting, behaviour. You deserve better.

Joking about that in a pub... what planet are they living on. I just hope they are suitably ashamed over how they behaved.

I came on here to send you an unMN hug but it sounds like you’ve got it covered OP! onwards and upwards for you

So sorry this happened to you. So glad you are a fucking warrior.

Wow. What a fucking group of bitches indeed! I can't believe they are sending (or even allowing) their adult children to be involved.

If any one of them had misunderstood it initially, (I'm being way too overly generous but maybe if the wine was flowing and laughter was happening and they didn't quite hear or thought it was a bad taste joke initially... fuck I'm clutching at straws) gone on to be horrified, they'd have a) run out of the bar after you and b) turned up at your house with a profuse sincere apology and asking what if anything they can do that might help you.

The fucking radio silence to your son's phone is possibly the most outrageous part of it all. No, wait, that would be the bit where a friend disclosed your sexual abuse to other friends who fucking laughed

I'm rambling because I'm so angry for you. Your son and his mates though, what absolute Gods they are! 😍

Your son is absolutely amazing. What a superb young man and a superb son.

You've done a great job with him and a great job with yourself by standing up for yourself so quickly and decisively and brooking no shit.

Good for you.

That absolutely awful! I rarely read things that actually shock me - and this is so serious it is one of those times. So sorry OP that you firstly went through that and then had your trust betrayed. I hope you feel better soon OP and try and look forward to 2019.

I'm so sorry, OP, those so-called friends are no friends at all. I think you've handled it brilliantly however.

You say therapy isn't for you. It does depend a lot on the rapport you build up with your therapist. I'm speaking as a survivor of childhood SA. I've had therapists that I couldn't relate to at all and left thinking that it was a waste of time. But with the right therapist it can make all the difference.

You could consider support groups for adults abused in childhood. Talking to people who have been through similar experiences can be very therapeutic. (In my case, my DSis lived through the same trauma I did and we have supported each other.)

Can they not see how crass it is to use their kids to contact you?

On the plus side, this has to be one of the most supportive threads I've read on AIBU. So thats another good thing to come out of it.

I admire your son for holding back and not starting a tirade on this group chat thing, telling these women's kids what their mothers have said! He is more mature & sensible than I am!!

I hope they now not waiting for your son to go back before contacting you again.

I’m gobsmacked. You have dealt with this perfectly OP.

I may or may not (definitely did) have snorted in a very unladylike manner (who am I kidding? I'm never ladylike) at your plea to the Daily Mail!

@LindaLa, I know you liked them but I'm willing to bet that, if you look back, you'd spot signs of their true colours showing in past interactions. It's natural to think well of friends and people we like, but this behaviour is so abhorrent there's no way it's a freaky one off.

I'm speechless. I can't understand why none of them followed you out to check on you? Sending you hugs.