Found DS (15) Weed/Cannabis huge stash

[CallMeRachel]

I've researched topics on this here but not many replies on teenagers or addictions sections so posting here for broader advice and opinions.

I have been aware for a while that my 15 year old son occasionally smokes weed with his friends. I have always told him that I don't approve and that I believe it can be triggering to mental health issues and to never bring it into our home.

Recently he's been smelling strongly of weed on a daily basis.

He got a fairly large amount of money for Christmas this year from us as well other family members.
This money was given as he asked for money to buy clothes in the sales.
He doesn't have any income from a part time job or anything.

I've gone into his room tonight while he's out and sitting on his bedside unit in full view is a Kilner jar 3/4 full of weed.

I feel completely out of my depth with this and how I should deal with it. It seems that cannabis is so widely used/accepted now that I'm unsure how big a deal this actually is.
I've never been a cannabis smoker and disapprove of it as I do believe it can be harmful to mental health as well as be a gateway drug.

Honestly, wibu to take the whole jar and hide or dispose of it?

Should I ask the police or school for help? Will they help or will they be only interested in getting a case against him?
I don't want my house searched and my child arrested and future prospects ruined for what could be a stupid phase.

The amount that's there is making me worried he's started dealing, there's no way that's just personal use?

Can anyone tell me what that amount of weed would cost?

He's out overnight at a friends just now and I can't sleep for worrying how I should approach this. It's all very well saying report him to the police, get him arrested etc but that's not going to help either him or us in the long run.

I need to handle this carefully but don't want to be a passive parent, nor a OTT one that goes overboard and makes matters worse.

AIBU in being absolutely clueless on how to deal with this and to be asking on here for help and advice?

It will only effect his mental health if he had underling issues already like schizophrenia but ypu would know that by now

Symptons of schizophrenia usually occur late teens/early 20's so this piece of info is wrong. Also I believe the younger you start smoking pot the higher the risk of psychotic disorders.

I'm glad he handed it over.

It's now not only the weed but he will probably have nicotine withdrawal as well. He needs a referral to CAMHS but how long you will have to wait is how long is a piece of string. It might go against a lot of people but if it was my son I would think about an e-cigarette & low nicotine juice to manage the nicotine cravings, he will be jittery without the weed & nicotine, or get some cbd capsules or drops, they are non addictive, he won't get high but do calm anxiety, you give them him, don't just give him the bottle. The priority for the next few months needs to be getting him through his GCSE'S, if he gets some good grades that will help his confidence & point him in the right direction.

Just read your update and I think you handled it brilliantly, and that your son is lucky to have you as his mum op. Good luck to you and family for the future
P.s Flush the wacky backy!

Well done on dealing (no pun intended) with the situation in a mature and controlled fashion.

There are groups that supply cancer patients with cannabis for free. I can put you in touch with one if you want to donate it. They will test it for purity before they donate it.

Does the 15-year-old boy also have a nicotine addiction?

I agree with the e cig and cbd oil.

And tell him that weed is going to be donated to cancer patients if pure enough ( even if you don’t bother) .

Then give him loads of love and kindness x

Not that I am under any illusion that my personal experience is WORD or anything other than my personal experience, I just wanted to add a voice in to say that there is a history of mental illness in my family ( bi polar/ depression) and I have always found weed to be a positive force for combating it. It doesn’t always follow that those with a propensity will suffer under it’s influence. Not that I’m advocating anyone take that particular risk themselves ofcourse. That should be an informed personal choice.

Herion laced weed is rare, not cost affective for dealers.
People buy an oz or more as personal all the time, easier and works out cheaper

Well done op, you dealt with it in a way that works for your family.

Great outcome OP. I think you handled it brilliantly.

Impressed how you handled it OP.

Sounds great. Hope you carry on talking. Let us know how you get on with finding help for your DS. I think I need to get a counsellor or something for mine.

this is not directed at OP, who has deal with it well, but just a general point.

I think the difficulty with marijuana is that both littlemissmanchet and namechange are right. Used sparingly and with respect, it has some things to recommend it. Its years since I used to have it, but when it was occasional I noticed it sometimes kind of relieved a "pressure" and seemed to liberate my brain a little, in a therepeutic way (I'm talking here about once every 2-3 months, at a very low level and grass rather than skunk). On the other hand I had a boyfriend who used to hammer it every day and it was just a sedative to abuse (he used to pass out) and block out reality. I also do think some people perhaps use it to self-medicate. My problem is with young people getting a serious habit that becomes a do-nothing, anti-social lifestyle (as well as possible brain damage when young brains still developing).

Nicely handled, OP, I'm glad it went well.

You did brilliantly op

• he’s a lucky boy!

Im sure you don’t need me to tell you this but hey- some of the stuff I learnt:
If he’s got a favourite uncle/grandad/male friend get them involved to spend time with him- kids can often offload more to people who aren’t parents.
Drive him around more- for years I’d been so concerned that ds was independent that I’d lost some opportunities for trapping him in the car! Ds communicates better next to me rather than facing me.
Use texts more- they love/value/open up on it more than my generation do, I think.
Try out as much help as you can from agencies/school etc re anxiety. some won’t work at all, but some might. I think you said he’s reluctant- can you incentivise him at all - specially since he’s lost a bit of money on the weed...
I don’t think you need luck though, you’ve got this op.

Also fab that he wants to do boxing and football- that’s such a great sign.