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Original poster

Found DS (15) Weed/Cannabis huge stash

216 replies

CallMeRachel · 30/12/2018 02:28

I've researched topics on this here but not many replies on teenagers or addictions sections so posting here for broader advice and opinions.

I have been aware for a while that my 15 year old son occasionally smokes weed with his friends. I have always told him that I don't approve and that I believe it can be triggering to mental health issues and to never bring it into our home.

Recently he's been smelling strongly of weed on a daily basis.

He got a fairly large amount of money for Christmas this year from us as well other family members.
This money was given as he asked for money to buy clothes in the sales.
He doesn't have any income from a part time job or anything.

I've gone into his room tonight while he's out and sitting on his bedside unit in full view is a Kilner jar 3/4 full of weed.

I feel completely out of my depth with this and how I should deal with it. It seems that cannabis is so widely used/accepted now that I'm unsure how big a deal this actually is.
I've never been a cannabis smoker and disapprove of it as I do believe it can be harmful to mental health as well as be a gateway drug.

Honestly, wibu to take the whole jar and hide or dispose of it?

Should I ask the police or school for help? Will they help or will they be only interested in getting a case against him?
I don't want my house searched and my child arrested and future prospects ruined for what could be a stupid phase.

The amount that's there is making me worried he's started dealing, there's no way that's just personal use?

Can anyone tell me what that amount of weed would cost?

He's out overnight at a friends just now and I can't sleep for worrying how I should approach this. It's all very well saying report him to the police, get him arrested etc but that's not going to help either him or us in the long run.

I need to handle this carefully but don't want to be a passive parent, nor a OTT one that goes overboard and makes matters worse.

AIBU in being absolutely clueless on how to deal with this and to be asking on here for help and advice?

OP posts:
Fishlegs · 30/12/2018 11:17

OP I don’t want to hijack your thread with a bun fight but I do think it’s really important that parents understand the potential problems with cannabis and the difference in the drug that teenagers are taking now compared to that which was around 20 or so years ago.

I’ve just found a study from this year which analyses street cannabis and found that it’s much more likely to be skunk than resin or herbal strains. This comes from the conclusion-

It's concerning that this study suggests sinsemilla is becoming much more common, and that where resin is on sale, it has more THC and less CBD than a decade ago. People who base their ideas about cannabis on the drug they smoked many years ago may not realise the strength and potential harm of the cannabis sold on the street today.

www.nhs.uk/news/mental-health/high-strength-skunk-now-dominates-uk-cannabis-market/

Also, just google ‘street cannabis laced with heroin’ and see what comes up, there’s a myriad of articles on it. It’s often used to disguise poor quality weed. What on earth makes you think it’s so expensive that dealers don’t want to use it?

pasanda · 30/12/2018 11:18

'Default is defiance'.

Love that phrase and so so true for some adolescents. Mine included!

Be grateful if it doesn't apply to yours.

ilovesooty · 30/12/2018 11:19

I can't think of a situation where a tinkly laugh would be less appropriate.

Villanellesproudmum · 30/12/2018 11:20

I would throw it away, and others have said restrict money.

A friend of mines son starting smoking it at 14/15 she said it was fine, only like normal cigarettes. I explained the impact it can have on growing brains, she disagreed, anyway. He is now 19, jobless, stays in his room, suffers severe paranoia, is addicted to it and is just listless on life. He went through a stage of trying harder stuff for more of a hit, however is past that stage now. Just doesn’t care about anything.

Try sites like Talk to Frank and Addaction for advice.

Villanellesproudmum · 30/12/2018 11:21

@fishlegs you’re spot on.

Oldstyle · 30/12/2018 11:21

You won't be able to stop him smoking if that's what he decides to do OP but house rules need to be absolutely upheld. Yes you should get rid of it and stand firm against the fury/sulks that this will cause. Don't think you need to worry too much about the impact on his health (if he has no source of money he won't be able to indulge very often once this stash has gone). My son got in to everything going as a youngster but now seldom if every bothers. Good luck!

Whataboutbobbo · 30/12/2018 11:24

Perhaps he is selling it on. Purchasing that much in bulk for personal consumption is a bit strange. It would dry out and parents would see it.
I would take it away and would not give him any cash going forward. So difficult. I really feel for you. It's a slippery slope though, so you need to act now.

ForalltheSaints · 30/12/2018 11:25

I know it may be 18 months or more away, but one additional thing to be very clear to him is that you will not be supporting or encouraging him to take driving lessons at 17, as his use is such that he could kill himself or others whilst behind the wheel.

Luvey · 30/12/2018 11:25

Fishlegs that's actually a load of complete shit.

OP you sound like a good sensible mum. It's probably been a good thing your son was away last night as it's gave you time to collect your thoughts etc.
Only you can decide what way you're going to handle this as you know your son best, so I've just one piece of advice - aim to keep the lines of communication open, encourage him to be open with you now and in the future . The alternative is that he feels hard done by and he'll just sneak and lie about it in future.

Good luck, hope the discussion goes well xx

Wordthe · 30/12/2018 11:26

No one who knows anything about cannabis use as the word skunk

JillScarlet · 30/12/2018 11:26

Yes, a worry about him selling it, but also a worry as to who he is in contact with to buy that amount.

Huge sympathies OP. Can you use this incident as a way to escalate his need for MH support?

BlazingTiger · 30/12/2018 11:28

Take the jar and wait for him to come to you to ask about it. Then be prepared to sit and talk about it with him with an open heart and mind. Maybe even smoke a joint with him. Understanding is better than judgment. I've smoked weed since I was 14 and whilst i wish I hadn't smoked so much because I of the tobacco I mixed it with. I will never give up smoking cannabis itself. If used properly it can be a great medicine. Honestly, I would be more worried if he was drinking alcohol as that is much more a "gateway drug" in my opinion.

easyandy101 · 30/12/2018 11:28

Also, just google ‘street cannabis laced with heroin’ and see what comes up, there’s a myriad of articles on it. It’s often used to disguise poor quality weed. What on earth makes you think it’s so expensive that dealers don’t want to use it?

Because they could just be selling it to smack heads?

There's been anecdotal "evidence" for years that various drugs are laced with whatever to make them more addictive/improve quality or buzz/scare people more but after a lifetime of being involved in drugs I have never come across it, nor ever come across someone who wouldn't just sell shit weed, they know they'll still sell it.

Why would you incur an extra cost on something to make it better. Never mind the fact the effects are totally different

Also smoking heroin tastes fucking vile, if it contained anything more than trace amounts (perfectly plausible owing to both being contraband) you'd taste it

easyandy101 · 30/12/2018 11:29

Purchasing that much in bulk for personal consumption is a bit strange.

It isn't

easyandy101 · 30/12/2018 11:32

Also there's no such thing as a gateway drug

There's people that are interested to try things and people that aren't

It's often people's first drug, but are believers in the gateway theory really suggesting that if there was no weed then people wouldn't start with something else?

drinkswineoutofamug · 30/12/2018 11:33

Cannabis can chill you out, then the munchies. Long term use. Mental health issues being the major one , but also impotence. Maybe not helpful for a 15 yr old.
Take the weed and hide it. Leave the empty jar. Expect him to blow. Then give him the option. He flushed it down the toilet or your calling the police. Call his bluff.
I doubt he is dealing as there would be scales and seally bags.
Get in touch with FRANK , very useful. Be blessed though it's hopefully not black mamba or any of that zombie shite.
My daughter smokes it. But I would rather she has a occasional joint than the drink and cocaine problem she had.

crazyoldfish · 30/12/2018 11:35

Loads of good advice here. Only thing I would add is to talk to the school. They may well know other parts of the story - who he is associating with etc that might help and they do not have to (and I would be very very surprised if they did) go to the police. However, they will refer to SS (and should discuss this with you first) which should give you and your son more access to support services.

Wordthe · 30/12/2018 11:41

Cannabis absolutely can be medicinal and therapeutic, compare it to alcohol which is toxic to all tissues in the body, if you have too much at night you might feel a little bit fuzzy in the morning but nothing like the poisonous effects of alcohol

I'm not suggesting anyone should use it with complete abandon but it is perfectly possible to use it regularly and not have it cause any problems, in fact it can as I said be helpful for a lot of things

FissionChips · 30/12/2018 11:41

Purchasing that much in bulk for personal consumption is a bit strange

It sounds like maybe half an ounce, not much at all.

Where is all this heroin laced cannabis? I’ve never come across it in real life, all sounds a bit Reefer madness to me.

Wordthe · 30/12/2018 11:44

In 20 + years of using cannabis I have never come across cannabis laced with anything
I have grown my own, I have bought from friends, friends of friends, local dealers/growers, the darknet
Have never come across cannabis laced with anything

TheQueef · 30/12/2018 11:46

Rachel I'm a smoker. I don't want to be too candid and get the thread deleted so I won't give my opinion but have you www.talktofrank.com it's factual rather than hysterical and gives you chance to know what you are talking about.

Also an oz could be personal use average 1g per joint so 30 joints.
Good luck.

Canibuildasnowman · 30/12/2018 11:49

I’d bin it and tell him he can smoke weed when he’s 1) an adult and his brain has stopped growing 2) he has a job and pays for it himself 3) has his own place to smoke it in - unless you’re chill with him smoking it in your house.
15 is too young. Parent him.

FissionChips · 30/12/2018 11:54

No one who knows anything about cannabis use as the word skunk

Strange thing to say, plenty of people who have smoked for years use that word Confused.

Squeegle · 30/12/2018 11:55

So what word do they use then?

Pinkyyy · 30/12/2018 12:07

Why are people bothering to write pointless comments telling the OP to smoke it? She's already said she's against it.

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