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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu about parking & new neighbours

199 replies

Parkingshmarking · 29/12/2018 03:57

Nc for this. Newish neighbours in house opposite ours. The have a driveway with room for 2 cars, mine only has room for 1. Ds1 home from Uni for Christmas & his car is parked on the street outside our house, opposite theirs. Also Ds2 girlfriend here sometimes & her car also parked on the street outside. Notes were left on both cars last week by neighbours saying 'do not park outside our house'. Yesterday Ds1 had friends over so his car + 2 others parked on street. When I left hot work at 4pm neighbour was outside waiting for me, cue rant about cars & how I'm being 'disrespectful' not telling my son & any visitors not to park there. Felt very intimidated & was actually dreading coming home from work last night in case he was waiting for me. Having a tough time generally atm & feeling a bit emotional & vulnerable. Moved here a few years ago to escape a violent ex-p & just want to live a quiet life & not feel intimidated or worried to leave my home. Aibu?

OP posts:
Supermum29 · 30/12/2018 17:35

We have a similar issue... one neighbour went to the effort of sifting through Facebook to find me and message me at 7pm to move my car and sat out in his van waiting for me to come out because he wanted to park there by his house!! At first I refused as I was putting my daughter to bed.

Later discussions explained his desire to park directly outside his house on the opposite side which was a fair explanation, now we just make sure if we are parking we allow him space his vehicle... no problems since.

These things can usually be resolved with a reasonable conversation, maybe just find out why he feels that way/what’s bugging him if you can compromise and it’s a valid reason then do. If he’s just being pedantic then carry on as your are... they’ll have to suck it up!

sevensatsumas · 30/12/2018 17:46

'Notably he has not spoken to either of my sons who are both 6ft+ or my male ndn who also has 2 cars & parks one on the road'

Could your sons go over and politely ask him to stop harassing their mother? He sounds like a bully. Bullies don't like being called out on their behaviour.

Myimaginaryreindeerhasfleas · 30/12/2018 17:47

It all depends whether your DS/friends are making it difficult for him to get into his drive. If so, then legal or not, it’s a bit inconsiderate. Ask him what his issue is with them parking there and decide then whether he has a point.

StoneofDestiny · 30/12/2018 17:51

I got a note left like that on my car when visiting a pal. Pal went to police about it (to check legality etc) and amazingly police called round to the neighbour and was warned about touching my car (!) and leaving what could be perceived as intimidating notes on cars legally parked on public highway.
Top drawer response, no problem after that.

Your neighbour is a bullying idiot, don't cow tow to him. Tell him next step is to report him to police for bullying and harassment.

Yabbers · 30/12/2018 17:51

Could it be because he can't turn into his drive and it is therefore safer to reverse onto the drive and come out on the road facing forward.

I agree. The Highway Code advice is not to reverse onto a main road. Reversing in to a driveway is the safest thing to do and if parked cars make this difficult, it would make him reversing out very unsafe. Parking anywhere near someone’s drive is really inappropriate. I would be surprised if his only objection is to having cars parked outside his house. Far more likely they are causing an obstruction.

SoupDragon · 30/12/2018 17:52

Parking anywhere near someone’s drive is really inappropriate

Well, that rules out 99% of a residential road then.

Gth1234 · 30/12/2018 17:54

modern housing densities make parking difficult. That's all it is.

Tessabelle1 · 30/12/2018 17:57

If soneone parks on the road opposite my drive it makes it impossible to get off my drive as it's not a full width road, that said, there's no parking restrictions so nothing I can legally do. If that's not the case for you then just politely tell your neighbour that your son is only there a few days so it won't inconvenience him long

TigerTooth · 30/12/2018 17:57

Have all your other neighbours got private parking or were your visitors taking up all their options too?
So what is Op supposed to do? Have NO visitors over Xmas?
If it's making it a bit tricky for him - tough - if it's making it impossible for him to get in or out then that's a different matter - some people just can't drive well.
If it's legal then park there - if it's causing him problems then he has to submit an application to have a restriction put in through the council.

SymphonyofShadows · 30/12/2018 17:59

My road is narrow and there are always cars parked opposite. It’s tricky sometimes but I tend to reverse onto the drive and I can actually manoeuvre. DP always parks nose in and has no problem. People must be absolutely shit drivers if they can’t get out in a narrow road.

mlrmummy1 · 30/12/2018 18:00

I hate new developments for this reason. Not enough parking for the occupants let alone visitors. Went for a run today and every curb had mounted parked cars. In our friends road a car parks opposite on public road yet hinders her ability to get in and out of her drive. It’s crazy that developers think so little about owners when designing houses.

lindyloo57 · 30/12/2018 18:04

what about parking on grass verge's, new neighbours 3 doors away, they have a driveway, for two cars, but they have put 2 cars and a van for sale, parked on grass verge. is this allowed.

CoffeeCoffeeTea · 30/12/2018 18:30

Hi OP, I noticed you mentioned he was not intimidating your male NDN or your sons. If so he is a bully. Treat bullies with kindness, go over to his house, apologies profusely, ensure his partner/children hear. Hopefully they do not take after him and will be embarrassed by his behaviour, and keep parking where you want to if legally safe to do so.

brighteyeowl17 · 30/12/2018 18:31

If there is no double yellows this looks like normal parking for most estates? He is a bully if he is behaving in a intimidating manner and therefore I would ask police for a word. You can’t just say don’t park there for no reason.

myhamsteratefreddiestarr · 30/12/2018 18:40

YANBU OP, just ignore him in future and never move vehicles that are legally parked or he will expect it every time. Call 101 in front of him to report his intimidating behaviour. He will soon shut up.

My neighbours often have guests who park outside their drive and opposite mine. It means I can’t swing in to the drive so I have a little moan to myself, drive to the end of the road, turn round and swing on to the drive from the other direction. That’s what normal people do. I wouldn’t dream of complaining to them about it!

lauramaywharton · 30/12/2018 18:51

They are bringing in a new law so people carnt park like you are on the street or up a curb isn't there an overflow car park where you live? It's really awkward for people to get off there drive when people park like this. My dad owns a people carrier and has for years now and still finds it a daily struggle to get off the drive when people park opposite. It's not fair when people have a house with more cars then it's ment for as its an inconvenience for everyone else. Its okay for like a day or two but this sounds like your doing it constantly and if she or he isn't a confident driver then no wonder she or he is getting upset.

lauramaywharton · 30/12/2018 19:00

Another this how is he intimidating you exactly? I don't get it you've only said that he's moaned about the cars and asked for them not to be there as it restricts him?
Has he screamed in your face for you to move them or he'll smash Into them or something.

Original poster
Parkingshmarking · 30/12/2018 19:10

@lauramaywharton I think you're talking rubbish about a new law. You seem to have missed the point that this is temporary while my son is home from Uni for the holidays.....& we're not doing anything wrong. I would say that waiting for me in the dark when I leave the house is in itself intimidating before he even starts

OP posts:
Allergictoironing · 30/12/2018 19:15

They are bringing in a new law so people carnt park like you are on the street or up a curb isn't there an overflow car park where you live?

Overflow car park??? The nearest car park of any kind to my house (apart from the currently closed HGV only park) is around 2 miles away in the centre of town. The road I live in was built in the late 50's/early 60's as council housing, there were originally no driveways let alone garages (terraced housing) though some people do have garages built into their back garden accessible via a narrow unmade track.

We have the choice of parking on the road or not parking at all, same for all the roads round here. Some neighbours have up to 3-4 vehicles for the one house, one each for the parents them one each for offspring, or work & personal vehicles. The width of the houses is enough for 2 small cars or 1.5 medium/largish cars to park outside each house - some of the vehicles are vans so take even more space.

A few people have managed to have drives put in, but the road runs across the side of a steep hill so having a reasonably shallow drive means risking either the house slipping down the hill or the drive slipping into the front of the house unless (very expensive) specialist supports are put in. Half the houses are still council owned so they wouldn't get permission anyway.

Doman · 30/12/2018 19:16

@Parkingshmarking he is being an absolute dick. Nothing to do with legal/illegal parking, or driveway manoeuvres, just the fact that he doesn't like cars outside his house. I agree that you should send your sons over to find out what the 'problem' is.

Doman · 30/12/2018 19:20

@lauramaywharton you are talking complete twaddle. I live on a terraced street where there are no driveways and any cars are parked on the street. Driveways and overflow car parks simply don't exist here ... is this some special law for uptight suburban curtain-twitchers who think they own the public highway???

howrudeforme · 30/12/2018 19:30

You’re not doing anything illegal op - but your family/friends parking making his access difficult.

He shouldn’t bully you - you should be less defensive ie it’s just temporary.

I have this where I live. The way people park means I can only get out facing the wrong way I need to go so end up doing a detour. Neighbour choose to park this way. I don’t make a fuss (can’t argue with ignorance) but it is inconsiderate.

birdladyfromhomealone · 30/12/2018 19:32

We just got back from Xmas on The New Forest.
In some of the villages as you would expect they get lots of tourists.
Several I mean most actually- houses on the edge of the village/forest had no parking signs dotted all along their boundary with the road.
Some had them every 5 ft!!
I understand its busy with tourists in summer BUT they dont own the road outside their beautiful thatched cottages.
If it was illegal to park there then there would be yellow lines- there were not.
Home owners do NOT own the road outside their house!!

Original poster
Parkingshmarking · 30/12/2018 19:38

Wonder how I'm the ignorant one here? As I've said before I've managed to live in parking harmony with several sets of occupants of that house over 3 years. Suddenly he moves in & I'm being ignorant? I don't actually think so but if he had come over & talked to me I might be more amenable to listen. I still disagree that I'm in the wrong but there are ways to do things & leaving shitty notes & shouting at me are not the way to go even when what he is saying is ridiculous & selfish. If everyone in the street, including me, simply said 'do not park outside my house' then where would we be?

OP posts:
howrudeforme · 30/12/2018 19:42

Agree - he needs to be curbing his response but you’ve pretty much said it inconveniences him (and it’s temporary) and he has a ‘choice’ ie he has to approach or leave in a direction dictated by your parking.

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