Aibu about parking & new neighbours

[Parkingshmarking]

Nc for this. Newish neighbours in house opposite ours. The have a driveway with room for 2 cars, mine only has room for 1. Ds1 home from Uni for Christmas & his car is parked on the street outside our house, opposite theirs. Also Ds2 girlfriend here sometimes & her car also parked on the street outside. Notes were left on both cars last week by neighbours saying 'do not park outside our house'. Yesterday Ds1 had friends over so his car + 2 others parked on street. When I left hot work at 4pm neighbour was outside waiting for me, cue rant about cars & how I'm being 'disrespectful' not telling my son & any visitors not to park there. Felt very intimidated & was actually dreading coming home from work last night in case he was waiting for me. Having a tough time generally atm & feeling a bit emotional & vulnerable. Moved here a few years ago to escape a violent ex-p & just want to live a quiet life & not feel intimidated or worried to leave my home. Aibu?

Parking gets worse over Christmas with lots of visitors and people home more during the day.

People also take very strange views on parking - some think they own the road outside their house while others park in ways which will obviously inconvenience their neighbours because it isn’t illegal.

Some people will simply never see issues from the other persons perspective. If this was a rational person you could try to reach a compromise which would allow your visitors to park close to your house but in a way that doesn’t inconvenience your neighbour. However he may just be an arse.

I can see his point (slightly). He is being midly inconvenienced.

The road is accessible from either end. Therefore if he entered from the top end he could easily swing into his drive in his little car. If coming from the bottom end I can see how the cars may restrict him but he has a choice
So you're being inconsiderate when it would be so easy for your family members could so easily park only two space back to no inconvenience to them. What a nice neighbour you are!

My DD is at Uni. Our drive is small with many cars. When she comes, she could park anywhere that would be 'taking a space' from our neighbours. I tell her to park further the road and she totally agrees. It means walking 6 seconds rather than 2. She's a healthy 19yo. Our neighbours are older.

Some people are confusing legal rights and entitlement with caring attitude and good manners and then wonder why people show little kindness back!

I would ask pco involvement. Incase there is any damage. People like him would think nothing of scratching cars that offend him

If it’s preventing his from getting on and off his drive then I do see his point.

I live in a touristy village and people park outside my house all the time. It does not bother me in the slightest, we have a drive big enough to fit both of our cars on, with room for a visitor and room for another visitor to block the drive.
Both my mil and my mum frequently complain about people parked outside my house. I can't understand how they can get themselves worked up about it when it causes no problems at all!
On the street where my mil lives there would be much grumbling if someone's visitor parked outside someone else's house, even for just a few hours.

Unless he also purchased that side of the road then he is being unreasonable, and maybe just needs some more practice getting in and out of a driveway. Unless he drives a huge car, even a ‘normal’ width road is doable.

If you are restricting the access to his drive, from either direction, you should park more considerately.

On our street if people parked on either side " because it's a public highway and it's their right " nobody would be able to drive up and down the street never mind me not being able to get on or off my drive, because of how narrow it is. Sometimes it's about using your brain and not being selfish.

I can't understand how they can get themselves worked up about it when it causes no problems at all!
Because it causes you no trouble at all. However these neighbours are troubled by the parking of OP's family. There is a difference between feeling you own the space outside of your home and being very inconvenience because people have no consideration for others.

I live in a touristy village and people park outside my house all the time. It does not bother me in the slightest, we have a drive big enough to fit both of our cars on, with room for a visitor and room for another visitor to block the drive.

I don't understand the point of your reply. Are you saying that the OP's neighbour shouldn't be bothered in the slightest because you have a drive big enough for four cars?

How difficult is it to allow him access from both ends of the street? Would it involve upsetting other neighbors if you all just shuffled your cars along a bit? There is legal and then there is being a good neighbour.

Although I agree that if he'd asked nicely you might be a bit more inclined to put yourself out for him.

It is possible to park legally but still be inconsiderate. We get this all the time at weekends and holidays when our neighbours have visitors. We have a dropped kerb and they don’t park on it but as we’re on the curve of a cul de sac and they don’t park tight to the kerb there is physically not enough room to get our car out.....but technically they are legally parked, as they frequently tell us when they reluctantly move their cars to let us out.

There's no excuse for rudeness and aggression but I suspect your son's car and his friend's car may have made reversing off his drive extra hard.
We have this with neighbours across the road, especially their daughter and her friends. They have a wide house and could park 2-3 cars in front of it, but park right outside their house almost directly opposite our drive, which means that instead of being able to get out in a single sweeping reverse we end up doing a four-point turn. And we live on a hill which makes it even more awkward.

Is your neighbour elderly? My father-in-law would get upset by this kind of situation, as they get more anxious as they get older.

Rather than getting worked up/calling police etc just try to find out exactly what the problem is. Most people who are angry lose their bluster when you give them a chance to explain. You can disarm them by agreeing with them and feigning ignorance about the problem e.g. "Gosh, yes, the street has been busy over Christmas, hasn't it. Far too many cars these days... so what exactly is the problem? Oh, where do you think they should park then?"

you are not parking illegally, but you maybe are compromising access to his drive, it is just harder to get in and out of if they are not great drivers. It is happening on my cul de sac at the moment. I can see why they are pissed off (not for me, but two other houses, don't know if they have words). For the sake of peace, tell him it is only for a few days or just park further down the road? not worth falling out about. People can be so precious about their space, don't get upset about it.

So at what point would he realise he'd entered the street in from your view 'the wrong side' is it simply he could donate turn in the road or would he have to go back out and quite a bit round to go in the way he can access his own drive?

Just be careful OP - we had one like that at the end of our street who took to a nice spot of low-key vandalism of any cars parked where she had decided she didn't want them parked (wipers pulled off, wing mirrors smashed and the like).

Some of the advice dished out on here is awful and will start a feud with your neighbour that will part as long as you both live there.

Pick your battles OP. It looks like your son and his friend are parking inconsiderately (although yes - legally) and you expecting your neighbour to alter his route to enter the road at the opposite end suggests you’re inconsiderate.

The point is that thry put notes on the cars, which was them being considerate. Your family however opted to totally ignore him. That's just not nice.

Leaving notes is not conducive to good relations. If the neighbour had knocked on and said the positioning of the parked cars on the road was affecting his access, I'm willing to bet the reaction and response would be different.

I think whether or not the sons are being inconsiderate depends o how wide the road is. Otherwise it might just be that the neighbour needs to have some parking lessons.

He is not a bully for expressing his view on the car parking. And a total over reaction to call the police.

He didn't express his view - he ordered the OP not to do something perfectly legal. The suggestions of calling the police were not to moan about the parking but because of the resulting threats and harassment - or should women just accept this behaviour when a big man tries to intimidate them, kowtow to his demands and just know their (submissive) place?

GreatDuck - one would assume, if your road is that narrow, that there are double yellow lines up one side of it.

I used to live in a road in the UK that only allowed parking down one side because it was only wide enough for 2 and a bit cars - parking on both sides was a definite no no, and sure enough, there were double yellow lines all down our side of the road.

Didn't stop some twat parking on them, over the pavement and onto my hardstanding, one Sunday - I had to find them and tell them they couldn't do that. They seemed to think it was ok because it was Sunday. Nope.

I can sort of see his point of view. It's a lot of cars. You may all be parked legally & calling the police won't help at all.