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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu about parking & new neighbours

199 replies

Parkingshmarking · 29/12/2018 03:57

Nc for this. Newish neighbours in house opposite ours. The have a driveway with room for 2 cars, mine only has room for 1. Ds1 home from Uni for Christmas & his car is parked on the street outside our house, opposite theirs. Also Ds2 girlfriend here sometimes & her car also parked on the street outside. Notes were left on both cars last week by neighbours saying 'do not park outside our house'. Yesterday Ds1 had friends over so his car + 2 others parked on street. When I left hot work at 4pm neighbour was outside waiting for me, cue rant about cars & how I'm being 'disrespectful' not telling my son & any visitors not to park there. Felt very intimidated & was actually dreading coming home from work last night in case he was waiting for me. Having a tough time generally atm & feeling a bit emotional & vulnerable. Moved here a few years ago to escape a violent ex-p & just want to live a quiet life & not feel intimidated or worried to leave my home. Aibu?

OP posts:
OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 29/12/2018 07:35

Op knows she is doing nothing wrong, it's the intimidation she's struggling with. Notice he's not confronting her son? Can your son meet you from your car? I bet the presence of a young man will stop his antics. But if it doesn't, clue ds up on the law, if he starts, ignore him go inside and let ds calmly deal with him- it's a public road, if you have a complaint call the police. Rinse and repeat. Bullies hate calm.

Original poster
Parkingshmarking · 29/12/2018 09:01

No, that's not what is happening. He's just being an overbearing idiot because he thinks having a big house means he owns the street. I'm going to speak to him today in daylight & tell him the points above & if he continues to harass me I will call the police. I've lived here for 3 years with 3 sets of neighbours in that house (it was previously rented) & never had a problem with any of them so it's not me!

OP posts:
KnightlyMyMan · 29/12/2018 09:12

Urgh! I had a friend who lived in a village near mine completely notorious for this type of parking angst!

No yellow lines, totally legal street parking, but people didn’t Like it!

The worst was the house opposite her, who had recently moved in and owned a large transit van! The drive was big enough for the van but if ANYONE parked along opposite side of the street (wider than usual to facilitate parking for the shop nearby) then they couldn’t get their van into the drive!

I had to go to my friends two days in a row due to college work! First day I got a ‘strongly worded’ note!
The second day I parked up and curtains twitched, woman came out and told me not to park there;
Her: Excuse me you can’t park there
Me: I won’t be long
Her: Doesn’t matter how long, move your car!
Me: No
Her: You can’t park there!
Me: Actually I can, as can everyone else in the village, it’s totally legal and everyone has been doing it since long before you moved in!
Her: ... but we can’t get our van in and out!
Me: Doesn’t mean you own the street though does it? Get a normal car and you’ll be fine!
Her: Just move your car or I’ll call the police!
Me: call them! I’m parked legally

HighwayDragon1 · 29/12/2018 09:13

OP I can't imagine how the road looks, can we have a diagram please?

KnightlyMyMan · 29/12/2018 09:13
  • in fairness I was a gobby 19 year old at the time 😒🙄 but still glad I stuck up for myself
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 29/12/2018 09:17

Were any of the 3 cars hindering him from being able get off/on his drive? I don't mean blocking his drive.

WhatsUpHun · 29/12/2018 09:18

Exactly what
@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll said, could not have put it better

swingofthings · 29/12/2018 09:20

Why would a yone wait outside in the cold waiting for someone to come out to let out their frustration if it wasn't because the parking is making things difficult for them?

Two likely issues: they are parking them illegally. That could be the case if indeed there isn't enough space for a large engine to get through. If that's the case, he is right to tell you and considering you ignored his first notice. It's understandable that he would have expressed his views with annoyance.

Or the parking is not illegal in any way but due to the road mapping, although they can get out of their driveway, it takes quite a bit of manoeuvring which is annoying and possibly scary for a non confident driver. In this instance, you might want to show kindness and ask you family to park elsewhere if they can do so not far away, or maybe park a bit more on the curve, whichever way makes it reasonable for them to get out.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 29/12/2018 09:24

Are they parking legally without blocking ? If so I don’t get want points the neighbours were raising.

Original poster
Parkingshmarking · 29/12/2018 09:25

Attempt at diagram

Aibu about parking & new neighbours
OP posts:
Rememory · 29/12/2018 09:26

You're not parking illegally. He's being a dick

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 29/12/2018 09:27

How wide is the road? Can he manoeuvre on to his drive with the two cars parked there? Where's the third car?

Rememory · 29/12/2018 09:28

Is he pissed because a car parking where your Sons friend has parked prevents him having a full turning circle? He should learn to drive in that case ..

LittleAlbatross · 29/12/2018 09:28

So it's a double width road? And not one of those daft new build estates with narrow roads? In which case he has nothing to complain about and if he starts to get aggressive then call the police.

Rememory · 29/12/2018 09:30

Or suggest parking directly in front of his house if it's easier for him getting into his drive?

Original poster
Parkingshmarking · 29/12/2018 09:31

The road is accessible from either end. Therefore if he entered from the top end he could easily swing into his drive in his little car. If coming from the bottom end I can see how the cars may restrict him but he has a choice.

OP posts:
Original poster
Parkingshmarking · 29/12/2018 09:33

Sorry about rubbish diagram. Yesterday was exceptional with a 3rd car. It was up above where the speed bump is

OP posts:
chumbal · 29/12/2018 09:36

YANBU and he is unreasonable Sad

If he stops you again explain that you are not parking illegally . Try to stay calm and try not to get pulled in to an argument.

He is being territorial Grin

MoreCheeseDear · 29/12/2018 09:37

Me: call them! I’m parked legally

Not if they can't exit and enter their drive. Exactly this scenario happened at the bottom of our lane. Police involved and said parked vehicle was causing an obstruction and must be moved or a ticket would be issued.

SpikyHedgehogg · 29/12/2018 09:39

I think a lot depends on how wide the road is.

I'd be tempted to ask him for a bit more information, why, exactly, does he not want cars parked there?

jasmine1971 · 29/12/2018 09:40

I would just drop them a note saying that you have taken advice and that you are aware that on street parking is not illegal, therefore you will continue to park there if necessary but you will continue also to be mindful that you are not blocking them in. And wish them a Happy New Year.

WWWWicked · 29/12/2018 09:41

Ah so you admit you are restricting the swing into his drive - so you feel he should instead drive in from the opposite end of the road - which you admit was also restricted yesterday.

Petalflowers · 29/12/2018 09:41

Are the cars on your side of the road, but opposite their drives? If so, I can see their point of view if it makes it difficult for them to pull out of their drive.

However, where you are parking doesn’t block anyone, then they can’t complain.

ThatsWotSheSaid · 29/12/2018 09:43

So for his slight convenience he wants to bully you into moving your cars. Where does he expect you to park?

HeronLanyon · 29/12/2018 09:43

He sounds a bully. Can’t see any reason unless where your visitors are parking is somehow obstructing his drive (nitninassume) or making it more difficult for them to manoeuvre.
Recently had this with my elderly ma parking in HER parking space on private road. It made it more difficult for one other but not impossible andnshe was parking well - tucked in as much as possible. Absolute horrid bully made her feel badly. Will never forgive him for that. She passed away recently and it will be a pleasure when I no longer have anything to do with street to tell him exactly what a shit he was to her.
You have done nothing wrong. Might be helpful to ask him (or a woman in the house would be better) what the problem is so you can understand. Good luck.