Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick and tired of my niece calling me fat?

133 replies

SydneyFrexkle · 28/12/2018 17:05

She’s almost 8 and always makes comments about how big I am, how big my stomach is etc ... I’m a size 10/12.

I always pull her up on it and say how rude it is. But she still does it.

Aibu to think at 8 she should know not to say mean things?

OP posts:
Santaclarita · 28/12/2018 17:06

Tell her parents to control their brat?

DrinkSangriaInThePark · 28/12/2018 17:07

I wouldn't spend any time at all with her until she stops. And tell your sister/brother why.

Weathermonger · 28/12/2018 17:08

At that age she should definitely know better. If it were me I'd have a serious chat with the parents.

MeredithGrey1 · 28/12/2018 17:08

She should definitely know not to say it. What do her parents do/say when she says it?

Billballbaggins · 28/12/2018 17:08

She’s well old enough to know better especially given that you’ve told her. I’d have run out of patience by now OP and would have taken her to one side out of earshot and told her to stop being a horrible, nasty little fucker and I’m not joking. Flame away but at 8 age and having been repeatedly told nicely that it’s mean she knows better.

WWWWicked · 28/12/2018 17:09

How exactly do you pull her up on it?

Because I can promise you an 8 year old would only say that to someone once, if I overheard them!

werideatdawn · 28/12/2018 17:09

Is she neurologically typical? My 6 year old has ASD and will just tell people deadpan 'you are fat/bald/short/tall'. It's embarrassing and we are slowly improving it by explaining how its rude to comment on people's bodies.
If she has no additional needs, then yes at 8 she should know better and her parents should be pulling her up on it.

mytieisascarf · 28/12/2018 17:09

Yes she should absolutely know it is not kind to say these things. I would have a word with her parents and tell them you find her comments hurtful and unkind.

jessstan2 · 28/12/2018 17:09

What a very rude child! Tell her to stop and ask her parents to do the same.

Stompythedinosaur · 28/12/2018 17:09

8 is definitely old enough to know not to make comments about personal appearances! What do her parents say when she makes rude comments to you? It's good you are pulling her up, but it sounds like it needs reinforcing from her parents.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 28/12/2018 17:10

I’d be assuming this comes from her parents or your mother. Do they often make you feel like shit?
Plus her being so preoccupied with others weight at a young age means she is highly at risk of developing an eating disorder.

LuckyLou7 · 28/12/2018 17:11

A child of that age should be aware that it's unkind to make personal remarks about people's appearance. It's slightly different if a 2 year old asks 'why is that lady so fat?' - although even at that age, the child can be taught not to make comments like that. What are her parents like?

Drum2018 · 28/12/2018 17:13

Have a word with her parents and tell them it's lucky it's you she's said it to and not someone who would flatten her! No excuse for her to say it seeing as you have already told her not to.

toolazytothinkofausername · 28/12/2018 17:14

What do her parents say/do when she does it?

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 28/12/2018 17:16

Aibu to think at 8 she should know not to say mean things?

She should know better, yes but it depends on how she has been brought up. If she hasn't been taught the importance of tact and kindness and her parents are too lazy or spineless to challenge inappropriate/unkind behaviour then that's their fault not hers.

Hoopaloop · 28/12/2018 17:25

Hide jellytots in her food and wait until she balloons. Then say the same to her.

thefinn · 28/12/2018 17:26

Again, as pp have mentioned it's not on, not matter what size you are. What have the parents said? it can end worse depending on whose size she comments.

Bringbackthestrioes · 28/12/2018 17:28

Hoopaloop that made me howl Grin

UserName31456789 · 28/12/2018 17:28

What do her parents say? Since you're obviously not fat they may be ignoring it assuming you won't take offence. Still it's obviously massively rude and an 8 year old should know better.

JessicaJonesJacket · 28/12/2018 17:30

Well, it's not only rude. It's also inaccurate if you're only a size 10/12.

I don't understand how this has been allowed to become a habit. Her parents need to be reinforcing that it's rude.

Sparklesocks · 28/12/2018 17:31

Her parents need to have a word with her about rudeness and kindness, she’s old enough to understand her words have meaning and that’s it’s not acceptable to comment on people’s weight.

BootsMagoots · 28/12/2018 17:33

She doesn’t sound very pleasant and her parents should be disciplining her. She’s old enough to know better and is just being mean. You clearly don’t have a fat belly anyway if you’re in a 10 or a 12! Is she a bit of a school bully too? She could say it to the wrong person and really damage them. She needs to be told.

KonaMum · 28/12/2018 17:34

You could be a size 30 and it would still be rude. What do her parents say about to? What do you say to her when she says it?

My DH made a few jokes about my weight/appetite over Christmas (they were meant in good humour but despite being lighter than I was before I had a baby, I’m obviously a bit wobblier and not feeling amazing about myself) and I deliberately pulled him up about it infront of his parents. He was mortified and VERY apologetic. I can only imagine an 8 year old would be equally horrified if she was told off in front of her parents.

ScottyDog7 · 28/12/2018 17:35

At that size surely you aren't fat anyway???
How skinny is everyone else around this child to make her think you're fat?

Have you mentioned it to her parents at all? Have they overheard? How are you telling her off for it?
Personally the first time I'd say that's not nice, please don't say that to me or anyone else. After that, I'd be harsher and refuse to engage with her in any way until she learnt some manners, works better if you're the fun aunt and there are more kids around.

Finfintytint · 28/12/2018 17:35

Do her parents have issues with food?