To ask religious MIL to respect our views?

[Namedilema123]

PIL are Christians. DH is atheist. Im not atheist but not religious at all and find it all a bit culty.

MIL is always talking about Jesus and God to my 4yo and 2yo. She plays religious nursery rhymes when she looks after them. For Christmas has bought them a Childs First Bible and Child's First Prayer Book. How do i broach this subject? It makes me feel so uncomfortable. Its not so much the religion itself but more it being taught as blind fact, rather than just stories or that some people believe it, others don't. would be much happier if other religions were spoken about too. Or AIBU?

How can someone not give a shit about the position of Christianity in our society but still defend faith schools?

The buildings and land are usually owned by the religious organisations.
Are we now demanding that land and property be seized to create this 'equal' secular education system?

The buildings and land are usually owned by the religious organisations.

That’s possibly the case for faith schools. But what about alleged non-faith schools? Children are forced/expected to actively worship one particular deity by virtue of a 75 year old Act that would be easy to amend. There is no choice for secular education in this country at the moment unless you home educate. That’s not acceptable.

“The buildings and land are usually owned by the religious organisations.
Are we now demanding that land and property be seized to create this 'equal' secular education system?”

But maintained and funded by the state.

Am I right in thinking that you would be advocating that the Government should spend a huge amount of money (that could be used for other vital services) paying for the building and land so that all schools can become totally secular? At the end of the day, it is still not goverment property regardless of maintenance costs.

As an ex-teacher at non-faith schools, it is perfectly acceptable to ask for children not to take part in any religious praticises (e.g one-off group prayer at assembly) if it is important to you.

I can't believe that in 21st century Britain atheists are being forced to take days off work and their children made to do stuff that they don't want to! Unless their parents write them a note to say they don't have to.

Down with this oppressive, restrictive regime.
Seize the buildings.
Ban Bank holidays.
Forbid anyone with a religion from holding office in government.

Has anyone started a petition or called Amnesty?

As an ex-teacher at non-faith schools, it is perfectly acceptable to ask for children not to take part in any religious praticises (e.g one-off group prayer at assembly) if it is important to you.

It’s quite important to me that DD isn’t excluded and made to be different to her peers to be honest. So we counter the religious crap with the pagan origins of Xmas etc to balance it out.

When DD started school she was 3. At the open day we asked the teacher what would happen if we wanted her excluded and they had no idea. One of the TAs piped up “but it’s not just assembly. Why about our morning prayer and grace at lunchtime?”

So DD would need to be excluded at least 3 times a day. In what way is that at all reasonable? If I wanted her to actively engage with a religion there is plenty of opportunity outside of school. Absolute

farce that this situation still exists.

As an ex-teacher at non-faith schools, it is perfectly acceptable to ask for children not to take part in any religious praticises (e.g one-off group prayer at assembly) if it is important to you

Two points- firstly we don't have "non faith" schools in the UK.
We have non denominational schools, and these are required by law to deliver collective worship of a christian nature.

This means that had teachers have the freedom to deliver as much or as little religious indoctrination as they choose.

In some schools it is not so easy to remove a child for a prayer- and indeed why should they be removed?
In practice that child will be doing nothing in a side room, stigatised by peers, feel awkward.

My children went to a non dom state primary.

The head was very religious.
He chose religious staff.

Assemblies were an important part of the school community.
A typical Friday morning woud run thus:

1. Welcome and short prayer.
2. Round up of events of the week.
3. Hymn.
4. Awards- Star writer, Best Buddy award, etc.
5. Short talk of a recent class trip.
6. Prayer- often local clergy member.
7. Birthday.
8. Song of worship- Jesus is my Super Hero or similar.

So remove a child from the christian bits?

Class was similarly peppered with mentios of god, bible readings etc ( I worked as a class helper)

Before you say move scho0ols- we lived in a rural community, work and family close by. The only other school within 30 miles ( also state non dom) was silimarly run by a rabid christian head.

Not so easy to "opt out".

As a point of information, when faith schools were brought under the LEA umbrella in the 1944 education act, they were expected to provide 50% of the capital expenditure. The LEA met the other 50% as a quid pro quo for the buildings. Over the years since, the Church’s 50% contribution has slowly reduced to a maximum of 10%- in many cases it’s much less than that- often 0%. So basically, the tax payer is now maintaining the church’s buildings for them and providing schools that can exclude children and teachers on faith grounds, which do not have to teach the full curriculum and which can choose how much religious observance is expected.

Am I right in thinking that you would be advocating that the Government should spend a huge amount of money (that could be used for other vital services) paying for the building and land so that all schools can become totally secular?

All they need to do is amend the admission criteria to make it clear that no school can use faith as a selection criterion.

“Am I right in thinking that you would be advocating that the Government should spend a huge amount of money (that could be used for other vital services) paying for the building and land so that all schools can become totally secular?”

Amend the admissions criteria. Or say to the church “We’ve been maintaining and funding your schools for pushing 100 years now- maybe time to just hand the buildings over?”

Sorry, have yet to RTFT but it's a matter of principle, and I disagree with people saying it's ok. It is not ok for anyone but the parents to discuss religious beliefs with children that young. That is NOT okay at...all! That is way over-stepping the boundaries. I would return the books to her and ask her, or at least get your husband to ask her, to please respect your agency as parents and respect your boundaries and do not sing religious nursery rhymes or give them religious books. That is not their place to, and it disrespects you as a parent. It is proselytising and it is deliberate in its attempt to manipulate and inculcate your children against your wishes. I am shocked people are ok with this tbh. I would not appreciate it at all and would feel very offended if my MIL overstepped her boundaries this way. This is a matter of principle, boundaries, and respect for the parents.

I think the OP came back a few days ago to say that it is OK SalemBlackCat4 and that she will get the children books about other religions.

For me it depends if she's teaching them about he religion "This is what we, as Christians, believe" or if it's more "this is how it is, end of"

What's your DH's opinion on it?

*For me it depends if she's teaching them about he religion "This is what we, as Christians, believe" or if it's more "this is how it is, end of"
*

That is not a concept that a two year old can take on board.

My DD thought that the story of Noah's ark was a history lesson- took me 2 years to bebunk.

I honestly don't think it's that bad. I enjoy taking my DD to the Church of England services that she attends as a Rainbow, I like the tradition of it. Equally, it's the only performance of the Nativity that she got to be an angel unlike school where she was never chosen. I love Christmas carols and if I put them on the radio my DC will ask about their meaning. It's important to me as it's a fairly big part of my heritage. My husband is Jewish so we want them to understand all of their heritage. He isn't offended at my DC taking part in school nativitys, if anything he is OTT with his camera.

My Mum and Dad are divorced and my Dad is an avid Dawkins fan, if anything, in the past I've been reluctant to countenance these lectures as they feel uncomfortably like indoctrination too!