To ask religious MIL to respect our views?

[Namedilema123]

PIL are Christians. DH is atheist. Im not atheist but not religious at all and find it all a bit culty.

MIL is always talking about Jesus and God to my 4yo and 2yo. She plays religious nursery rhymes when she looks after them. For Christmas has bought them a Childs First Bible and Child's First Prayer Book. How do i broach this subject? It makes me feel so uncomfortable. Its not so much the religion itself but more it being taught as blind fact, rather than just stories or that some people believe it, others don't. would be much happier if other religions were spoken about too. Or AIBU?

My dc are at faith school and I'm appalled by it now. I was raised a Catholic and was v keen to raise them 'exposed' to the religion and mostly holistic education of the child, being kind to people, values etc.

I must say though the school and particularly the head has appalled me over the years.
Narrow minded, cruel..
The school has taught my older dc many things about the unfairness of life... I too went right off religion in the past 5 years...

The kindest, most honest and truly decent people I have met in my life and who have supported me in times of grief are totally non religious...

I have never said yay or ney when dc asked my views on religion and inspite of being at a very churchy school neither of them belive at all.

Op, if granny is coming at them like born again zealot... No... But light books etc... Fine... Just keep an eye!

For all you know I might adore Katie Hopkins and Farage ...

Indeed you might. What about Hitler and Pol Pot?

Do you have respect for all religious views? JWs who let their kids die because they don't believe in blood transfusions, Islamic fundamentalists who fly jets into skyscrapers? David Koresh and his followers?

If you're religious, why not be honest and admit that you don't have respect for everyone, and that is was actually a pretty daft thing to say?

Oops not read thread and see I've fallen into a steaming row that's taken a turn. 😂😂.

The other thing that's most prevalent about my dc school is the ease and lack of awareness when the head tries to stuff her left, values down our throats and the way she assumes things and says them to us.

To say the left have hands on the gears of education rings very true in our school.

The far left and so called socialists are again some of the nastiest evil people to ever walk this earth!

Our head, supposed Catholic... Supposed kind lefty is one of the most awful, hard, cruel nasty people I have had the displeasure to come across... And sadly it's not just me who feels this. Dreadful.

I can think your beliefs are nonsense.. yet respect both you as a person and your right to hold beliefs that differ from mine.

It costs me nothing to do this and the converse seems vaguely like bigotry. But each to their own

Oops sorry such a slow typer that the comment I was responding to is a page ago already

Why is it that whenever people are talking about Christianity on a thread about Christianity on a website where many users come from a country where Christianity is the state religion, someone comes along and spouts " you're not talking about Islam, you must be scared to". People aren't talking about Hinduism, Odinism or breathitarianism either. If people want to talk about Islam so much, why not start a thread

The answer to that is quite simple. People get annoyed that people see no harm in ridiculing or dismissing as a fairy tale, Christianity. But would not dream or dare to ridicule Islam or Hinduism etc.....

When you say “if people want to talk about Islam so much, no start a thread about it, nobody has implied they want to, they just want to point out the oddity of the way people are loathe to talk about it in a derogatory way, but not when it’s on about Christianity. It’s quite logical to see how they would.

I’m sure if Islam was taking a hammering Christianity would be sure to be dragged into it. But somehow i can’t see anyone starting a thread saying how Islam is a “fairytale” or a “force for evil. Christianity has done far more good for this country than Islam ever has.

Thank you, Qwerty, you found the words I've been searching for all afternoon.

“People get annoyed that people see no harm in ridiculing or dismissing as a fairy tale, Christianity. But would not dream or dare to ridicule Islam or Hinduism etc.....”
I don’t ridicule any religion. But I am perfectly prepared to dismiss any or all religions as human constructs. The difference is that I am not often called upon to dismiss Islam or Hinduism or Judaism as human constructs because, as a resident of the U.K.,they have very little impact on my day to day life.

Athiest are as much indoctrinating a child as they see a believer to be.

Am I indoctrinating my children because I say dragons / mermaids / fairies/ Father Christmas / Thor / Zeus doesn't exist? An absence of faith is not a faith and not talking about my non-faith is not indoctrination. It's just... being.

OP my MIL does the same. So the religious books are removed after Christmas, the true meaning of Easter chocolate egg (really!) is removed from its packaging. I refuse to let her take them to church and openly say in front of her 'that is what Christians believe but we aren't Christians' when the kids have parrotted her proselytising to me. I think what she does shows no respect to me. But I also know because my kids are older that apart from the religious phase 2 of them have gone through age 5/6 thanks to their (non-faith) school her proselytising has not had any impact. So we mostly ignore it and have the odd laugh about her trying to change us now the kids are older.

“yet respect both you as a person and your right to hold beliefs that differ from mine.”

People have the right to believe whatever they want. They do not have the right to impose their beliefs on other people. Which is what Christians in the U.K. do.

It is only the Christians I know who try and convert my children. And it is only the Christians who have local schools that exclude my children. Not the Muslims or Hindus or Sikhs or Buddhists. That is why the Christians get short shift in this house.

Meanwhile in the real world i hear people moaning out all sorts of things, some really serious issues in actual fact. Funny i’ve never heard one single moan about Christians imposing their views on us.

Re the original question, I think it totally depends on how she introduces her religion and whether you can counterbalance it with your own belief system (and others). And yes I believe you can do this simply with even a very young child.

I am a questioning Christian (a very difficult recent event for me has left me questioning my belief system, so right now I'm probably leaning towards agnostic), as is DH, our children go to a faith school. At home we have children's bibles and some Christian stories. We also have books about other religions (Usborne World Religions with lift the flaps, really good) and one specifically about the Quran (not the one mentioned upthread but a similar one for children). We also have tonnes of science / evolution books. Personally (since my approach is v much about experiencing lots of different books and perspectives and discussing together), I'd make sure that the DC's bookshelves are well stocked, and then read together and keep discussing all the cultures/history/beliefs and explain that everyone believes different things. I also tell them that some/many people don't believe in God, and that even within a particular religion, different people have different interpretations of what their faith means to them. And that it is for them to make up their mind what they think as they learn more about religion and get older.

We are all born atheists.

My responsibility is to keep that slate clean until my children are mature enought to make their own decisions.

Atheism is not about indoctrination, there is no doctrine.

“Funny i’ve never heard one single moan about Christians imposing their views on us.”

Presumably you don’t move in circles where people are navigating the school admissions procedure?

Christians in the UK most certainly don't attempt to impose their beliefs on me @BertrandRussell.

I can think your beliefs are nonsense.. yet respect both you as a person and your right to hold beliefs that differ from mine.

That's called tolerance. You do not respect the beliefs themselves, because you think they're nonsense, nor the religion they belong to, because it's a purveyor of nonsense.

You're just dressing up tolerance with euphemisms to make yourself feel good. But ultimately, you have no respect for the religion. Which is no bad thing.

It is only the Christians I know who try and convert my children. And it is only the Christians who have local schools that exclude my children. Not the Muslims or Hindus or Sikhs or Buddhists. That is why the Christians get short shift in this house.

Well i should imagine if you lived in the middle east the situation would be reversed. Why should Britain be different, it’s a Christian country. You’re hardly being threatened with execution. Be thankful you live in such a tolerant country. But you say the Christian schools exclude your children? would they be allowed to go to a muslim school?

“But you say the Christian schools exclude your children? would they be allowed to go to a muslim school?”
Not if the admissions criteria excluded them. And that would be rubbish too. Your point?

Craft. I wish you'd stop telling people what they think or mean. It's bloody annoying.

Bluelady-you’re ignoring the school
Admissions issue.

I'm not ignoring it at all. A faith school is what it says on the tin. I completely fail to understand why an atheist would wish their child to attend one. It's not as if there aren't alternatives.

Whilst it's not ideal, she is doing what she believes is right and it's certainly not something worth getting angry over. A bible is a nice present anyway, a keepsake that won't get read much but my daughter treasures hers now (she chose to be baptised and confirmed as a teen) whereas her sister has it somewhere but never read! Understand that its integral to her life, rather than get upset agree to disagree and live your secular lives when she's not around.

“I'm not ignoring it at all. A faith school is what it says on the tin. I completely fail to understand why an atheist would wish their child to attend one. It's not as if there aren't alternatives“
Well, at least you’re no longer ignoring it. You just don’t understand it. Or you think it’s absolutely fine that people of faith have a choice of significantly larger number of state funded schools than people without faith. Which surely nobody can believe. It’s like saying that in 30% of local authority libraries, Christians should get first pick if all the new books!

Wow...ive obviously been a bit naive and didn't expect my post to have quite so many replies.

Like i said in my op, it's not that she's talking to them about Christianity, it's if it's being delivered as fact, without the caveat of "this is what i believe, but others believe other things". I dont think she is fire and brimstone, but her faith is important to her and she would be very upset if i referred to the bible as 'made up stories'.

I think I will just let it be for now, and as others have suggested, get a few other books of different faiths/gods/the big bang and maybe talk a bit more about what we believe.