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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask religious MIL to respect our views?

392 replies

Namedilema123 · 28/12/2018 16:14

PIL are Christians. DH is atheist. Im not atheist but not religious at all and find it all a bit culty.

MIL is always talking about Jesus and God to my 4yo and 2yo. She plays religious nursery rhymes when she looks after them. For Christmas has bought them a Childs First Bible and Child's First Prayer Book. How do i broach this subject? It makes me feel so uncomfortable. Its not so much the religion itself but more it being taught as blind fact, rather than just stories or that some people believe it, others don't. would be much happier if other religions were spoken about too. Or AIBU?

OP posts:

Badadadum · 30/12/2018 19:41

Their entrance requirements are based on religion of parents - surely you knew this?

Bluelady · 30/12/2018 19:43

But why would atheist parents want their children to go to a faith school?

junebirthdaygirl · 30/12/2018 19:43

Ms Chook l wasn't imagining you screaming lies lies but just wondering with your gc would you be tempted to say " thats only a story that some believe"
I think your reaction is a bit over the top as it was a genuine question.

Badadadum · 30/12/2018 19:44

I'm sure Jesus would open his heart to everybody, especially the poor and deprived but faith schools prefer to keep their admissions to the mostly wealthy faithful - which is ironic given how much they bloody well like to impose their churchy stuff to us normally.

PoutySprout · 30/12/2018 19:44

I was asking for evidence regarding discrimination on religious grounds by state schools

Faith schools are state schools.

They discriminate in favour of their particular flavour of sky fairy and against all others.

The evidence is in their entry criteria.

And as a tax payer I object wholeheartedly that I have no choice of a fully secular school whilst others can choose one that fits their personal beliefs. If you want a religious body to provide a child’s education, the religious body should bloody well pay for it and leave the rest of us alone.

Bluelady · 30/12/2018 19:45

I'm out until someone who can conduct a rational debate arrives.

PoutySprout · 30/12/2018 19:46

I’ve answered your questions in plain English. What isn’t rational about it?

Unless your tinfoil hat is affecting your brainwaves.

Purpleartichoke · 30/12/2018 19:46

If an athiests dc marries a christian who chats away about God and Jesus is that grandma going to say oh thats only a story or is she going to support the gcs parent?

Every atheist I have ever met, including myself, would simply change the subject when a young child other than their own brings up religion. Oh that’s interesting dear, tell me about this toy.

I would have a conversation with a teen who wanted to engage on the subject of religion and not hold back on my beliefs, but unless they ask, I am not bringing it up.

I do this even though I do truly believe my nieces and nephews are being actively harmed by being raised in a church that denigrates women, eschews sex Ed, and denies access to birth control.

Badadadum · 30/12/2018 19:46

But why would atheist parents want their children to go to a faith school?*
@Bluelady you are either very poorly informed or being deliberately obtuse. Do you really not know?

Bluelady · 30/12/2018 19:48

Genuine question, how about answering it?

Badadadum · 30/12/2018 19:49

Back at you - are you seriously telling me you don't know Blulady?

PoutySprout · 30/12/2018 19:49

Maybe it’s the closest school.

Maybe lots of friends/family go there.

Maybe it has the best sports field or drama facilities.

Maybe all the other schools are too far away.

Bluelady · 30/12/2018 19:51

If an atheist feels strongly about their children not being exposed to religious influences the last place they'd want to send them is a faith school.

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 30/12/2018 19:51

My MIL is a bit the same. Gives us a lie in on Sundays which is nice haha as she always takes our daughter to church (and then shakes her head at our irreligiousness).

I just tell her I’m not interested and tell my daughter to make up her own mind.

PoutySprout · 30/12/2018 19:53

If an atheist feels strongly about their children not being exposed to religious influences the last place they'd want to send them is a faith school.

There’s no school you can send them to that won’t have religious influences though. So if it’s on your doorstep versus 5 miles away it may well make sense.

PoutySprout · 30/12/2018 19:56

As it happens I opted to go to a chirch secondary school. My mother was a teacher and was working in our catchment secondary - no way was I going there. The second choice catchment school was the last one she had worked at and was still friendly with most of the teaching staff. No way was I going there.

Went to the church school as a non-conformist and left even more atheist than I was when I arrived.

SegmentationFault · 30/12/2018 19:58

Why is it that whenever people are talking about Christianity on a thread about Christianity on a website where many users come from a country where Christianity is the state religion, someone comes along and spouts " you're not talking about Islam, you must be scared to". People aren't talking about Hinduism, Odinism or breathitarianism either. If people want to talk about Islam so much, why not start a thread?

BertrandRussell · 30/12/2018 19:59

Of course some state schools discriminate in favour of people of faith. 30% of them have a faith admissions criterion.

QwertyLou · 30/12/2018 20:28

Badadadum that is truly awful. If a vicar / priest / reverend tried to pull that here, I’d like to think the attending doctor would give them short shift. They just compounded your suffering which is unforgivable.

Craft1905 · 30/12/2018 20:29

While religion may not deserve respect, surely those people who believe in it should be accorded some.

Noooooooo!!!

Tolerance. Religious people are entitled to tolerance. They shouldn't be physically harmed or sworn at or threatened for believing in something I think is nonsense. But people who believe in stuff I think is nonsense are not entitled to my respect.

I don't have respect for people who live their lives around their horoscope. I don't have respect for people who live their lives around a "god".

And it works both ways. People do not have to respect my opinion.

Bluelady · 30/12/2018 20:33

OK. I believe in respecting everyone.

MsChookandtheelvesofFahFah · 30/12/2018 20:37

Bluelady, this scenario is a pared down version of what happens up and down the country in varying degrees. One catchment, one non-faith secondary school, one faith secondary school. If you are of the faith, you get the choice of either school, if you are not of the faith you don't have a choice. If the faith school is doing well, the faithful will flock to it, the non-faithful will have no choice but go to the under-performing non-faith school. If the non-faith school is doing well, the faithful will flock to the non-faith school. If the non-faith school then becomes oversubscribed the non-faithful will be allocated a non-faith school out of catchment but the faithful have the faith school to fall back on. I hope I have explained the privilege of faith. Faithful = choice, non-faithful = no choice.

Craft1905 · 30/12/2018 20:40

OK. I believe in respecting everyone.

No you don't. That's just a twee load of tripe to make yourself sound lovely on the internet.

Rapists, paedophiles, Ian Huntley, Katie Hopkins, Nigel Farage, your local satanist...... I bet there's loads of people you don't respect and a myriad of beliefs you have no respect for.

Bluelady · 30/12/2018 20:43

For all you know I might adore Katie Hopkins and Farage ...

BertrandRussell · 30/12/2018 20:50

“For all you know I might adore Katie Hopkins and Farage ...”

You may well. I reserve the right to call them evil racists both in your presence and out of it.

Do you understand how Christian privilege works in the education system now?

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