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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if anybody on here is pro-life?

999 replies

Teeandee · 28/12/2018 15:02

When it comes to the subject of abortion I've noticed a high number of people on here are very pro-choice and support abortion. Is there anybody else, like me, who doesn't?

Everybody is entitled to their opinion of course and I don't think badly of anybody who has had a termination and I don't judge. It's only my personal outlook and life experiences that shape my view and was wondering if I really am in the minority here?

OP posts:
DogMamma · 28/12/2018 17:02

@TwistedStitch im not against abortion, I think everyone has the right to a choice I just don't think i could do it as easily my self and what I listed as acceptable would be what is acceptable for me and even then It wouldn't be an easy choice for me.

Panapan · 28/12/2018 17:03

I’d have a lot more respect for pro-lifers if they continued to give a shit about the child once it’s born. Too many of them - and I’m not saying that it’s anyone on here - don’t once it’s left the birth canal. I hear this a lot but it always confuses me. I'm not sure who the pro-lifers you know are, but I don't know any who don't care about the children. I know a number of pro-lifers who are actively involved in the foster care system, and a number who have adopted children.

Helmetbymidnight · 28/12/2018 17:03

‘Pro-lifers’ want us to go back to back street abortions - when thousands of women died without medical care.

They would prefer women like savita halapavannar died rather than be looked after.

I’ve no respect for them.

ElonMask · 28/12/2018 17:04

I think it is very difficult to argue that the state has a moral duty to deal with the consequences of people fulfilling their sexual desires. So far as I can see there is no moral dimension to that. However I also, for reasons I cannot really explain, do not view early stage pregnancy as something to get too upset about ending, although I have to admit there is a moral question there. So I am pro choice but I don't think there is a moral duty there that the state must generally fulfill.

speakout · 28/12/2018 17:07

‘Pro-lifers’ want us to go back to back street abortions - when thousands of women died without medical care.

I totally agree.

Legal termination is a medical one. The morality is amnother argument.

If legal terminations are banned then desparate women will seek illegal abortions.
Deaths will occur.

Not a very pro life stance.

TwistedStitch · 28/12/2018 17:07

But a DO believe an unborn baby/ foetus is a form of human life Pan, of course it is. I just think the rights of an already born, sentient human with thoughts and feelings matters more.

You are unsure how you feel about abortion in cases where the mother's death is a significant risk- if it isn't 'inevitable' it gives you pause for thought. That doesn't sound very pro life tbh.

mikado1 · 28/12/2018 17:08

Savita would be alive today if her sepsis had been properly treated. And, as it wasn't and her life was in danger, a termination at that point was not against the law. One point of negligence after another in her terrible treatment.

exLtEveDallas · 28/12/2018 17:11

Pro Choice. As early as possible, as late as necessary.

Women are not incubators. If they don't want to continue a pregnancy then it's no-one else's business but theirs.

TwistedStitch · 28/12/2018 17:11

I think it is very difficult to argue that the state has a moral duty to deal with the consequences of people fulfilling their sexual desire

Surely that's a discussion about public healthcare though. You may not think the state has a duty to provide abortions, bit do you think they have the right to ban them?

KnightlyMyMan · 28/12/2018 17:12

I’m in the grey area!

I feel that in ‘some’ circumstances a termination is a reasonable choice.
Rape, health issues, genuine contraception failure in those unable to provide a stable life...etc!

However, girls (those fitting this category don’t deserve to be called ‘women’ in my book) getting knocked up for lack of giving a shit and then having an abortion as though it were simply retrospective contraception - well that’s disgusting!

I know a girl who has had 4 so far and another who had one at 5 months simply because she met a new guy - ANYONE who thinks that kind of behaviour is acceptable is only contributing to the problem with society!

In a country where contraception is readily available and free- there’s no excuse for abortion not being a ‘rare’ occurance!
I see so many ‘contraception isn’t 100% you know’ comments and no it’s not but most are 98% or above so it’s hardly common!!

We’re just making excuses- using the 2% who deserve sympathy as a blanket excuse for the other 48% who CBA!!!

ghostyslovesheets · 28/12/2018 17:14

I think it is very difficult to argue that the state has a moral duty to deal with the consequences of people fulfilling their sexual desire

maybe of the state addressed the wide spread sex inequality that often leaves women needing to access terminations it wouldn't need to - that is more of a moral duty I would think - unless such inequality actually serves it well?

Helmetbymidnight · 28/12/2018 17:16

Savita begged for a termination for three days and was told ‘this is a catholic country’.
This is what pro-lifers are/do.

And people who say abortion is ok but only in the case of rape- please talk us through this step by step - what steps do you want rape victims to take to prove it etc.

ghostyslovesheets · 28/12/2018 17:16

I know a girl who has had 4 so far and another who had one at 5 months simply because she met a new guy - ANYONE who thinks that kind of behaviour is acceptable is only contributing to the problem with society

I think it's preferable to forcing her to have children she didn't want - what kind of a society does that?

what's YOUR solution?

polarisation · 28/12/2018 17:17

It's no wonder that people won't admit to being pro-life when as soon as they do, someone's accusing them of being only interested in removing women's rights and forcing women to give birth. It's hardly pro-choice if the only acceptable choice is abortion. I'm completely anti-abortion, but I don't agree with protests outside clinics or using graphic abortion images.

There are charities who work to support mothers who freely choose to continue a pregnancy in less than ideal circumstances and provide housing and other practical help, often to mums who have been ostracised for choosing not to abort. But these charities are continually attacked for supporting women purely because they don't promote abortion to women who have come to them because they don't want an abortion. And because of that, these charities may not be signposted to women in crisis pregnancies, leaving them feeling like their only "choice" is abortion, even if it's not a free or fully informed choice. So the "anti-pro-life" stance of some abortion campaigners actually reduces women's options in my opinion.

Abortion is legal in this country and women will have abortions for many different reasons. I may not agree with that but I can't do anything to stop it, so I may as well spend my energy on promoting charities who support women in crisis and support their babies after they are born. But shouldn't supporting women and their babies be the responsibility of everyone, and not just pro-lifers? Otherwise your support only extends to "That's a shame, but you can just have an abortion". Which isn't really very pro-choice after all.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 28/12/2018 17:18

I’m in the grey area pro choice but think limit should be lowered to 20/21 weeks. My friend had twins at 22 weeks. One died and the other survived. To think the doctors spend so much time trying to keep her babies alive in one room and possibly doctors in another room were killing another baby just doesn’t sit right with me.

The only exception is that the child will die. If the mothers life is an risk the birth should be attempted and the baby should not be just left to die.

birdsdestiny · 28/12/2018 17:20

It's also competely different. I lost a baby at 3 months. The baby died inside me and I had to 'give birth'. 10 years later I still think of that baby as a baby. But that is because of my emotions and should have no place around legislation. I support the right to abortion for any reason.

Helmetbymidnight · 28/12/2018 17:21

It's no wonder that people won't admit to being pro-life when as soon as they do, someone's accusing them of being only interested in removing women's rights and forcing women to give birth

Er but you do want to remove women’s right to safe, medical abortions and you would like to force pregnant women to give birth. That is your position, no?

Kikipost · 28/12/2018 17:21

@Santaclarita

I think it's up to the parents, not anyone else.

How does that work if the parents don’t agree?

toucan12 · 28/12/2018 17:21

Ave
That is very different - if you agree with it being legal, and you agree everyone should have the choice without judgement, and you respect them for their decisions, you are pro-choice. You can still be pro-choice and know that it is not something you would do yourself because of your beliefs.

If your only objection is performing the abortion itself, but you would willingly support both patients and colleagues in their choice, I personally wouldn't see a problem. But it is something I would discuss in detail with an O&G consultant before committing to that specialty.

JacquesHammer · 28/12/2018 17:22

How does that work if the parents don’t agree?

Then the final say must always be with the woman.

Panapan · 28/12/2018 17:22

you are unsure how you feel about abortion in cases where the mother's death is a significant risk- if it isn't 'inevitable' it gives you pause for thought. That doesn't sound very pro life tbh. Sorry if I gave the wrong impression. I am still pro-life in those circumstances, I'm just acknowledging that it is harder and that I don't have easy answers.

DonkeyHotei · 28/12/2018 17:22

Thing is....one may be pro-life and thus adorable babies are born. Almost everyone loves sweet babies with chubby thighs. Aren't we all pro-life in that respect?? And amongst those babies are the successful company owners of a unique and gorgeous business that employs local folk and gets a feature in the Graun. And a hairy-handed troll who has said something awful to get a needle from a community. And a person squeezed dry by austerity who can't see their way through it all and will make come on here having made decisions that they won't get a good redponse from. Just 3 examples; nevertheless 3 times where you may have to consider the baby they become.... The baby you fight for when you are choice. Their value as a sentient suit is "more" imho.... Yet I'm as judgmentally and ready

WipsGlitter · 28/12/2018 17:22

For people saying "as late as is necessary" do you mean right up to term? For any reason at all like deciding you'd prefer a girl actually or you've changed your mind?

DonkeyHotei · 28/12/2018 17:23

Ooops....fingers!

Youseethethingis · 28/12/2018 17:24

I think I would torture myself for the rest of my life imagining who and what my child would have been if i had an abortion, so I can only imagine the despair i would be feeling if i ever had to contemplate it. Women who find themselves in circumstances where they feel that abortion is the only answer have my sympathy, as I don't believe it is an easy choice to make.
HOWEVER - i am currently 10 weeks pregnant with a little human whose little heart has been beating for a month now, and whose organs, arms and legs have now formed. Although obviously not capable of independent life yet, I do believe my little spark of life deserves a little more respect than to be dismissed as a "ball of cells". I find that sort of attitude utterly repellent, and unhelpful to the debate.