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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if anybody on here is pro-life?

999 replies

Teeandee · 28/12/2018 15:02

When it comes to the subject of abortion I've noticed a high number of people on here are very pro-choice and support abortion. Is there anybody else, like me, who doesn't?

Everybody is entitled to their opinion of course and I don't think badly of anybody who has had a termination and I don't judge. It's only my personal outlook and life experiences that shape my view and was wondering if I really am in the minority here?

OP posts:
Fluffiest · 28/12/2018 23:17

I think sometimes it would be worse for a child to be subjected to a life where they were not wanted. In any of the situations Stickmanslittleleaf has given abortion is the best option, it certainly is a better option for the child, no one wants to be brought up in any of these situations.
In an ideal world no one would have an unwanted pregnancy but we don't live in an ideal world and these situations are very common. I have seen neglect of children and it is a horrendous thing to see happen. Saying that the woman could go through with the pregnancy and give the baby up for adoption wouldn't work, there are enough children in the care system as it is and I'm sure not many of them would thank anyone for that life.

What about the homeless, mentally disabled, refugees. Their lives sound awful, I'm sure they would rather die and things could never possibly improve for them. Should we legalise their murders too?

Original poster
Teeandee · 28/12/2018 23:18

Yes I don't think describing myself as pro life was the right thing to do, as I've thought long and hard and accepted that there are some circumstances albeit only very extreme ones where I'd be ok with abortion.

Babies life not viable/mother's life in danger.

OP posts:
Riotingbananas · 28/12/2018 23:20

Am pro choice, within the current legal framework. I've been involved in terminations more times than I can count (pre non surgical options), probably into the thousands. For each woman at that time, it was the right thing for her. And I would always defend that right. There are a handful of later terminations which will always stay with me as I found them particularly distressing. That said, the rights of the women involved should always trump that distress.

bumbleymummy · 28/12/2018 23:23

Plenty of pro-life people support abortion to save the mother’s life. If possible they will try to preserve both lives though.

TwistedStitch · 28/12/2018 23:23

Yep, becoming a patent is a massive life changing thing. But being killed also has huge permanent consequences on your life

An aborted foetus would never exist in a sentient way to know any different. The woman (and her family) are here now, born and impacted in a real way by these decisions.

Fluffiest · 28/12/2018 23:29

An aborted foetus would never exist in a sentient way to know any different

Brain electrical waves can be measured at 5-6 weeks. Define sentient. How sentient are newborns?

Also, all murder victims don't know any different once they are dead. If you kill em quick enough they won't even know its happening! Maybe we should legalise very very quick murders.

Drogosnextwife · 28/12/2018 23:29

What about the homeless, mentally disabled, refugees. Their lives sound awful, I'm sure they would rather die and things could never possibly improve for them. Should we legalise their murders too?

So you would rather a child suffered neglect and possible abuse at the hands of parents that didn't want it?

Apileofballyhoo · 28/12/2018 23:31

Pro legal safe abortion services when necessary. I'm not a doctor or another woman so I can't decide what is or is not necessary for another woman.

Veganforlife · 28/12/2018 23:33

I'm pro life.i dont usually comment on these types of threads.but yes I am 100% pro life

Fluffiest · 28/12/2018 23:34

So you would rather a child suffered neglect and possible abuse at the hands of parents that didn't want it?

No, of course not. I just don't think that killing babies is a logical or good solution to prevent child neglect and abuse.

Same way as I don't think we should kill women to prevent rape.

TwistedStitch · 28/12/2018 23:36

I am the product of a terminally ill mother who died when I was 1 Fluffiest. I'm told having me made no difference to her prognosis but who knows. If there was a chance aborting me would have given her some options I wish she would have done it. I wouldn't have known anything about it, but a 30 year old woman might not have died leaving behind a husband, parents and two older children. I don't really see that scenario as any different to the continuation of a pregnancy causing a nervous breakdown or severe financial hardship or any other thing that could impact negatively on the already existing woman and her family. I put them before a foetus that has no concept of its own existence.

mikado1 · 28/12/2018 23:38

Here's a question: those who are pro-life, how would you vote if abortion were to be made legal/ok illegal now? Would you take the option away?

Fluffiest · 28/12/2018 23:46

I'm sorry for the loss of your mother, Twisted. That must have been very hard on your family.

My DF was 10 when his mum died leaving behind three very young children.

I think all people think about bargains they could make to save the lives of those they love. I would give my life if it would save my child.

But I still think it is morally wrong to kill a baby as a means of contraception. But like others, I think some medical situations require them, namely when the life of mother and/or child is at risk of death/permenant limiting disability.

Christmasisforadults2 · 28/12/2018 23:48

What about children who grow up to be adults feeling extremely unloved and unwanted?
There are children in foster care right now struggling because the mother choose to keep instead of abort, even though they weren't able to raise a child.
Adoption is better really, so a child won't grow up to have a feeling of worthlessness, or deeply upset that there bio parents was a rapist or a abuser.
And who's adopting all these babies? Obviously not most the pro-lifers, as they are having their own.
Extreme cases only, what absolute bull.
Too many people are bring children in to the world without thought for when they actually grow up, look around everyone is suffering from depression.
So bringing a child into the world already knowing that their dad doesn't want anything to do with them or is an abuser, should be thought about. Or other children should be considered too, if a mother has 2 adding another one could cause great strange on the family and cause siblings to hate each other.
( yes I know, shit grammar and spelling mistake)

Unless you have been in the situation, you will not know the damage of being unloved by the ones who are meant too does on the whole of your life.
Conception doesn't always work, until it happened to me, I won't of believe a condom can slip off inside.

And I totally understand when you see a scan of your lo and fall madly in love with them but it's very different when you mind is confused and consumed with other issues.

Fluffiest · 28/12/2018 23:52

Here's a question: those who are pro-life, how would you vote if abortion were to be made legal/ok illegal now? Would you take the option away?

I would vote to take it away. But I would expect to be the minority in that. I accept that I am on the losing side of this argument, but I am not convinced thst I am on the wrong side. (to steal a line from Firefly!)

I wouldn't seek to impose my views on others but on forums like this where we can respectfully debate, I will try and persuade people to change their minds.

If enough people change their views on abortion, then the law could change and fewer babies will be killed and we will have to find alternative and better solutions to unwanted pregnancies.

I don't agree with all of our laws but I am glad to live in a democracy where free speech allows us to have this conversation

Original poster
Teeandee · 28/12/2018 23:55

@Christmasisforadults2 I'm the accidental child of an alcoholic mother with learning difficulties, I grew up feeling extremely unloved and as a result do have some issues with intimacy. Was I better off dead? I have a good quality of life fwiw.

I also have an older brother whom she gave up for adoption at birth. He's done very well for himself and leads a happy fulfilling life.

I'm damn grateful for my life and I'm thankful she chose not to terminate, as is my brother.

You only have to look at the adoption boards on here to see how many people have adopted and want to adopt, especially babies and very young children who they can raise as their own and love as though they were.

OP posts:
Fluffiest · 28/12/2018 23:56

And who's adopting all these babies? Obviously not most the pro-lifers, as they are having their own.

Err, believing that we shouldn't kill people doesn't mean that we have to personally house all the people who others want dead.

Apply that logic to theft. If you think people shouldn't steal are you ready to give them all the money that they need our of your own bank account?

DorisToday · 28/12/2018 23:57

Another pro-lifer here (or forced-birther/anti-choice if you prefer) - except in cases of fatal foetal abnormality or mother’s life in danger.

For me, there is a bit of a grey area before implantation (morning after pill) and in the first few weeks gestation where there is a chance it could still split into twins, where you might argue it’s not really a ‘proper’ human life, but I think human life is too important for us to arbitrarily decide when it becomes ‘real’ and worthy of protection.

Christmasisforadults2 · 29/12/2018 00:02

@Fluffiest Wink that's all your getting

APositiveMind · 29/12/2018 00:04

Absolutely no contraception is 100% effective. Unless you just don't have sex, which is a completely normal and human thing to do.
So if contraception fails, which people use to avoid pregnancy aswell as STI's then it is up to their discretion as to weather they follow through with a pregnancy .
Even when condoms are 99.8 precent effective, the other 0.2 precent should have a choice.

I'm strictly pro choice. You can't tell somebody how to live their life or what to do with it.

Original poster
Teeandee · 29/12/2018 00:07

I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant myself and have an 11mo DS. My daughter was conceived despite us taking precautions, she is a coil baby so I was at risk of miscarriage in the early days.

We don't have an abundance of space or disposable income and our circumstances are far from ideal but we chose to take responsibility and keep her. Many people in our position would have felt justified in terminating, but why should we deny her the life that we as her parents created?

If I felt unable to care for her then I'd choose adoption over termination without a shadow of a doubt. I don't agree with the "Why should I be an incubator" argument when it comes to playing god with a life that has already been conceived.

OP posts:
Fluffiest · 29/12/2018 00:07

I'm strictly pro choice. You can't tell somebody how to live their life or what to do with it

But you can simply kill them, as long as they are very very young.

TwistedStitch · 29/12/2018 00:07

I'm not sure how many minds you'll change by repeatedly referring to abortion as killing people or comparing aborted foetuses to murder victims. To me it is very extreme language that just alienates me from any argument you are trying to make.

Drogosnextwife · 29/12/2018 00:08

Same way as I don't think we should kill women to prevent rape.

Not even comparable.
I am very much on the fence btw and when I was younger was absolutely pro life, as I have matured my opinions have changed. I would never chose abortion for myself but can see bow on some cases it is necessary. Some people are just not equipped to be parents and if those people chose to have an abortion it is probably the best option for the child if nothing else.
Like I said in an ideal world there wpuld be no unwanted pregnancies and no need for abortion but we do not live in an ideal world and can not control the way people behave.

Christmasisforadults2 · 29/12/2018 00:10

And the same can be said for the depression board.