Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if anybody on here is pro-life?

999 replies

Teeandee · 28/12/2018 15:02

When it comes to the subject of abortion I've noticed a high number of people on here are very pro-choice and support abortion. Is there anybody else, like me, who doesn't?

Everybody is entitled to their opinion of course and I don't think badly of anybody who has had a termination and I don't judge. It's only my personal outlook and life experiences that shape my view and was wondering if I really am in the minority here?

OP posts:
Osirus · 28/12/2018 18:37

I’m pro life but not for religious reasons. Life is precious and every one deserves a chance.

I do agree with abortions for medical reasons, particularly if the potential baby will be severely disabled.

FrankIncensed · 28/12/2018 18:39

@SilverDoe when people have views that force women to go through unwanted dangerous, life changing experiences because you just happen to believe life begins at conception, I'll be as derisive as I damn well please.

TheAuthoress · 28/12/2018 18:40

For me, before I had kids I thought I could never have an abortion, though I never had an issue with it and have always considered myself pro choice.
Now I have two kids (planned) I realise it's not about being pregnant and giving birth.... it's about raising a child and that, to me, is a million times harder than being pregnant and giving birth.
You're talking about bringing a life, a person, into the world who isn't wanted, and will most likely have a difficult life because of that, for whatever reason.
So my stance is that I'm firmly pro choice, and it'll never change. I've got two kids and I know with 100% certainty that if I ever get pregnant again I'll have an abortion.

FrankIncensed · 28/12/2018 18:41

@Osirus - so you are saying the lives of severely disabled people are less precious? Because that's where your logic leads...

ghostyslovesheets · 28/12/2018 18:41

so life is precious unless it's a disabled life?

brizzledrizzle · 28/12/2018 18:44

You are NOT "pro-life" you are anti-choice.

In some cases, yes. In others you can support the idea of women having a choice. I am against abortion and would prefer that abortions were not necessary - leaving aside the woman who doesn't want a baby for a moment, I mean not necessary in that the woman can't afford one as we don't have the welfare state to provide the support if they find themselves unexpectedly pregnant because of contraceptive failure, rape etc.

Sometimes abortions are necessary, much as I dislike it, but I would hate it if people judged the choices that I have made in life and so I won't judge women who have made the choice to have an abortion. It's their prerogative, just it's not a decision that I think I could make.

Craft1905 · 28/12/2018 18:44

Life is precious and every one deserves a chance.I do agree with abortions for medical reasons, particularly if the potential baby will be severely disabled.*

Yeah, every life is precious, apart from the ones that are obviously less precious. We don't want any of those horrid disableds upsetting my precious, perfectly formed children. Hmm

LakieLady · 28/12/2018 18:44

AIBU to dislike the expression "pro-life"? It seems to imply that a lot of people are anti-life, which I'm sure isn't the case.

MaisyPops · 28/12/2018 18:45

ghostyslovesheets
I would argue that anyone who uses abortion as a form of contraception or because they want a boy/girl to complete their family is morally lax.

I'll totally defend their right to have a safe and legal abortion, but do think it's really quite ridiculous that anyone thinks they are grown up enough to have sex whilst taking zero opportunity to contraception properly. I dont buy the idea that someone has so many contraception failures leading to multiple abortions. That's someone not using contraception properly (or at all) and not using the morning after pill so, in my opinion, they should probs my stop shagging until they are grown up enough to have safe sex.

LottieLou90 · 28/12/2018 18:45

Pro choice. My SIL fell pregnant last year. Took all precautions, which failed.

She’s in uni, can’t support herself as her parents pay for her room etc and she couldn’t imagine bringing a baby into the world in that environment. Hugely expressed she wanted a good job and be able to support her child.

I have 2 children both a blessing but I feel it’s a decision that should be made in the best interest of the baby.

NerrSnerr · 28/12/2018 18:45

I think the problem is that everyone has a different 'line'. Some say they're pro life unless the baby will be severely disabled. How severe? What if there's a 75% chance they'll be severely disabled? 50%? What exactly defines severe.

Others have said they're pro life unless woman's at risk. What if they're at risk of emotional abuse, financial abuse? Are they acceptable reasons.

What if it's a girl, not a woman?

There are too many what ifs. I think it's up to the person carrying the baby and if they have a supportive partner them as well. People talk about late term abortions but they are rare and abortions after 20 weeks for non medical reasons are massively rare- no one is taking that decision lightly.

NerrSnerr · 28/12/2018 18:47

Yeah, every life is precious, apart from the ones that are obviously less precious. We don't want any of those horrid disableds upsetting my precious, perfectly formed children. 

Or you don't want to bring a baby into the world who has a short life expectancy, who will spend the time they have in suffering.

ghostyslovesheets · 28/12/2018 18:48

abortion on the grounds of sex is not legal

abortion because you don't want to be pregnant is legal and if you want it to remain so you have to accept that not everyone will have a) just one or b) have one for reasons you don't like

not ONE person using the 'abortion as contraception' line has offered an alternative - and contraception PREVENTS pregnancy ergo abortion can not be used as contraception Hmm

ghostyslovesheets · 28/12/2018 18:49

but it's okay to bring life into the world if it causes an adult female suffering?

MakeAHouseAHome · 28/12/2018 18:49

And to add I think the limit should actually be raised, and women should be able to have abortion for any whim or reason they want.

JacquesHammer · 28/12/2018 18:50

I always find it interesting that hard core “pro-lifers” seem to have no regard for the impact on already existing children in the family.

Seems there’s a hierarchy of “life” that’s worthy.

Helmetbymidnight · 28/12/2018 18:50

Insisting a 13 yr old has a baby = good.

Having an abortion because baby won’t be able to walk = bad.

Pro-lifers. Confused

LuggsaysNotaWomen · 28/12/2018 18:50

she's not mentally unstable, vulnerable or unintelligent. She's just a morally lax woman who thinks abortion is a way of avoiding accountability for her poor choices and lack of regard for her sexual health.

Repeatedly putting yourself at risk of unwanted pregnancy and/or STI's is not stable behaviour, even if they are able to manage the rest of their lives reasonably well. There is something more going on than "lax sexual morals" if a women cannot effectively take control of her fertility. I'm not arguing that her behaviour should be seen as perfectly reasonable, but if you think it should change (and by association those women you deem to be "like her"), then you need to understand what is driving the apathetic behaviour. And it's still better that she ends the pregnancy, than is forced to birth because you think her behaviour is immoral.

Who would adoption be better for? The baby? Well I suppose they get to exist, yes, but without their birth family and you nor anyone else can guarantee that they will have a happy life and be loved. What impact would it have on a person psyche to know that your mother would have aborted you but was forced to carry you to term and then gave you away? Or do you think that info should be withheld from them and how would you go about that?

What about the baby's siblings? Would it be preferable for them?Doubt it. Imagine having multiple siblings floating about the planet that you can never know until you are adults.

Adoption is not a panacea and in this scenario and women are not baby factories, even the ones whose choices you disagree with (and for the record, I also disagree with her choices, I just understand that they are hers to make regardless of my feelings about them).

GrandmaJane · 28/12/2018 18:51

Go to ‘In Her Shoes’ on Facebook. Read and learn.

MaisyPops · 28/12/2018 18:52

abortion because you don't want to be pregnant is legal and if you want it to remain so you have to accept that not everyone will have a) just one or b) have one for reasons you don't like
I've just said I defend the right of women to choose.

I can agree with women being able yo choose whilst also thinking it's morally questionable to repeatedly have unprotected sex and abortions instead of using an ounce of common sense, taking responsibility and using contraception.

Don't want to be pregnant? Have protected sex.
Abortion should be available for women. It shouldn't be a substitution for a tiny bit of common sense.

ghostyslovesheets · 28/12/2018 18:54

so no solution then?

RoomOfRequirement · 28/12/2018 18:55

I have a strong hatred for anyone who is actually anti-choice. And by that I mean they want the law to be changed to no longer allow women to be allowed to make decisions about their own body.

If you're just of the opinion you personally would never have an abortion but think other women can make their own decisions, I have no problem.

But no, I will not be polite or civil to ANYONE who wants to take my right to my own body away. Absolutely ridiculous that someone would expect you to be so

Craft1905 · 28/12/2018 18:56

And to add I think the limit should actually be raised, and women should be able to have abortion for any whim or reason they want.

Including that they've found out the sex and don't want a girl???

Drogosnextwife · 28/12/2018 18:56

Pro choice. My SIL fell pregnant last year. Took all precautions, which failed.

What are all precautions?

It's difficult to believe, with the percentage rate of contraception being effective, there are just so many abortions needed due to contraception failure.

TwistedStitch · 28/12/2018 18:58

But there are some women who for various reasons might simply not be capable of demonstrating what you refer to as 'common sense'. Chaotic backgrounds, abusive/ coercive relationships, addiction, MH issues, undiagnosed LDs, all sorts. It's easy to objectively judge women making repeatedly dangerous and unwise decisions. I'd still argue that access to abortion was vital for them.