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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is really odd behaviour

354 replies

MelbaToast · 28/12/2018 01:40

Been with BF together a while now (about a year). The reason why I'm wondering this is because he has never invited me to his house. Ever. Our whole relationship has taken place from my house and a couple of bars in between our houses, which we go to once a month. He told me this was because he was doing work to his house. The other week I was really direct and asked him when he was going to invite me over and he said when the work is finished, ie, mid 2019. I've driven past his road a couple of times and there is scaffolding outside, so I do believe he's having work done. I just find it really odd that he wouldn't want to show me where he lives. He's also never introduced me to any of his friends (I'm digging my heels in with this one and not introducing him to any of my friends until he initiates).

I think my concern is that he has someone more serious that he doesn't want me to know about.

OP posts:
Lantern92 · 28/12/2018 16:27

Good luck OP

Doyouavocado · 28/12/2018 16:40

A year is such a long time to have never seen his house or friends but good luck! X

Redglitter · 28/12/2018 16:42

he's a plumber and Saturday is his biggest earning day

So he works ALL day every single Sat. Can't stay at yours and leave for his first job from yours. Can't come back on Sat evening? Really Hmm

ilovekale · 28/12/2018 16:58

Good luck OP!

Twickerhun · 28/12/2018 17:09

Hope it goes well op

astoundedgoat · 28/12/2018 17:13

Good luck!

UnicornSlaughters · 28/12/2018 18:36

Good luck!

ilovekale · 28/12/2018 20:56

How did it go Op ?

Schuyler · 28/12/2018 21:39

I’m not usually suspicious but his story is shifty, full of excuses.

WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 28/12/2018 21:46

Hope you've come to some resolution by now

Doghorsechicken · 28/12/2018 21:47

This is incredibly random, I hope it’s a good outcome OP x

PowerPantsRule · 28/12/2018 21:48

How are you OP?

Dontknowwhattodo23 · 28/12/2018 21:55

Could be innocent, maybe he lives with his mother and is embarrassed

picklemebaubles · 28/12/2018 21:58

Oh dear, this doesn't look great. Hope you are ok, OP.

Mrskeats · 28/12/2018 22:01

Hope it’s not what most of us think

smudgedlipstick · 28/12/2018 22:09

Did you manage to get to his house?

HannahnotAgnes · 28/12/2018 22:12

I hope you got the truth Op (& there's an innocent reason rather than what we all think ).

JustHavinABreak · 28/12/2018 22:17

Hope you're ok. I really hoped we'd all been watching too much TV and there was a completely innocent explanation. Please let us know you're ok

BlackeyedPetitsPois · 28/12/2018 22:56

Are you ok OP? Hopefully an innocent explanation Flowers

LeilaDarling · 28/12/2018 23:03

You have described something similar to what happened to me years ago. I then had a look through his car and found a bill with the address he had told me he was having work on but it was a woman’s name addressed to.
Then a relative of a mutual friend told me he was with someone and she was heavily pregnant.
I ended it.
That was about 12 years ago and I’ve heard he is still with her and has had many, many affairs.

MrsJane · 28/12/2018 23:05

Hope all's ok OP and you got some answers.

Letsmove1t · 28/12/2018 23:09

Hope all is well OP?

CantstandmLMs · 28/12/2018 23:09

😬 we must know! Good luck, OP

SeaGreenSeaGlass · 28/12/2018 23:25

Some people just like to be secretive. I once had a boyfriend like this, he'd lie about his sandwich filling rather than tell the truth. I suspect he thought it gave him some power.
Even if this guy is a single plumber, rather than in another relationship, he could just be a bit of a commitmentphobe who likes everything on his own terms. He'll share your home and life, but you don't get to share his.

HappyBumbleBee · 28/12/2018 23:38

Hope everything is OK OP x