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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if middle class children appear more ‘scruffy’

999 replies

Workingclass · 27/12/2018 19:02

Went to a Childs party today for an old school friends DD (they are incredibly middle class) and her group of mum friends (who are equally as middle class)

I admit I don’t usually socialise in many middle class circles but I couldn’t help but notice that all of the children looked... scruffy, for want of a better word.

None of them had brushed their hair, they were all in mismatched clothes with muck on their faces. Didn’t look bathed..

I feel awful saying it, but I notice this also with the MC children at the DC school, has anyone else noticed it? I’m just curious as to why this seems to be a thing? Does my dds plaits and dresses ‘out’ her as having a working class family?

Is it more of a privilege thing? We don’t have much money so am weary of being judged as lazy by not doing her hair, I also make an effort to dress her nicely so she doesn’t look like ‘the poor kid’ is it that if your middle class you don’t have that fear?

Absolutely happy to be told IABU and judgemental but I am genuinely curious on the subject.

OP posts:
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JollyGiraffe · 27/12/2018 19:04
Hmm
Jackshouse · 27/12/2018 19:04

What kind of party/age of the children? I would rather kids were comfortable/can run around.

Generally working class adults get more dressed up for nights outs.

ScreamingBadSanta · 27/12/2018 19:05

The children in the Royal Family always look immaculate!

coffeeforone · 27/12/2018 19:05

Is it more of a privilege thing? We don’t have much money so am weary of being judged as lazy by not doing her hair, I also make an effort to dress her nicely so she doesn’t look like ‘the poor kid’ is it that if your middle class you don’t have that fear?

I've noticed this too and I think along the lines of what you've said above is the reason.

TimeForWhat · 27/12/2018 19:05

What counts as middle class these days?

Calvinsmam · 27/12/2018 19:05

The royal family aren’t middle class

Unobtainable · 27/12/2018 19:06
Hmm
Calvinsmam · 27/12/2018 19:06

‘We don’t have much money so am weary of being judged as lazy by not doing her hair, I also make an effort to dress her nicely so she doesn’t look like ‘the poor kid’ is it that if your middle class you don’t have that fear?’

I think there’s definitely an element of this.

3out · 27/12/2018 19:07

You could be describing my kids. They prob look pretty scruffy most of the time.

Thefrenchconnection1 · 27/12/2018 19:07

I'm what you would consider lower middle class. My kids are scruffy as described.

ScreamingBadSanta · 27/12/2018 19:07

Most of the present young Royals have middle class mothers.

Elfinablender · 27/12/2018 19:07

The children in the Royal Family always look immaculate!

Grin Apparently there are people who do lump the royal family in with the middle classes but personally, I think that's a bit of a fucking stretch.

DaisyDando · 27/12/2018 19:08

I have noticed this too. Polarn O. Pyret coats, but filthy.

jessstan2 · 27/12/2018 19:10

You saw a group of children running around, playing. Children generally have play clothes that they can tear or get dirty with no problem. It's nothing to do with 'class'. How snobbish to think that way! I hope you don't pass that attitude on to your children, class consciousness is awful and you sound quite self deprecating.

As for the royal children, mentioned above, we see them in photographs or being taken out somewhere so obviously they'll be well dressed but they have play clothes for when they're at home or in the garden, same as anyone else. I wouldn't call the royals 'middle class' btw, I see that has already been mentioned.

fullforce · 27/12/2018 19:10

The way that you look does not define your class. My parents walk around in Tesco clothing and shoes they’ve had for years. I often wear leggings that have holes in, usually by mistake and because my DD has ripped them thrashing about on me! My DD will not let me cut her hair properly due to issues with her scalp making it irritable so she’s often got a lop sided fringe. I can only imagine what people presume but that’s their issue not mine! I wouldn’t worry, they’re children not catwalk models afterall

StealthPolarBear · 27/12/2018 19:10

By definition (although apparently there are loads of royal relatives on here) we're seeing the Royal children when they're likely to be photographed and on the front page of the papers.

planespotting · 27/12/2018 19:11

I think I am what people mean by middle class. We live in the country side and my son is most likely muddy and has a dirty face Grin
We don't bath him everyday as recommended by his GP and his hair is let free.

I am very confident in that I want him to be a child that worries about fun, not being spotless

Maybe you do have a point

Sparrowlegs248 · 27/12/2018 19:11

I have 2 boys who stood out as being 'scruffy ' at a recent party. They have longish shaggy hair which set them apart from the other young boys with short back and sides. The other boys were dressed smartly but had skinny jeans on. I tend not to dress mine in jeans, they don't like them and aren't as comfy. It was a soft play party for a 2 yr old . Mine had nice joggers, and nice patterned t shirts. But I think the sort of clothes I dress them in while comfy can look "soft" and less smart.

Politicalacuityisathing · 27/12/2018 19:11

I totally agree OP. It is most definitely a thing and most likely due to class privilege - no concern that SS will be called if kids turn up grubby (see also lateness: Middle class = flaky; everyone else = lazy)

HowDroopyAreYourBranches · 27/12/2018 19:12

Yes, I think this can be true- e.g. middle class little boys tend to have longer hair.

I worked in a school where many of the families had very little but took a lot of pride in turning the children out immaculately.

It's easier to be laissez-faire if you aren't worried about keeping up appearances.

NecklessMumster · 27/12/2018 19:14

I know what you mean, there is a group type of middle class kids who have messy hair and rainbow jumpers called Moon etc..all expressing themselves

MrsHarveySpecterV · 27/12/2018 19:14

OP I agree with you, don't know why it is. I have a friend who has a lot of middle class friends and their children's clothes don't even fit them properly but their favourite topic of conversation is how much their last bonus was/how much they earn/etc 🙄

Politicalacuityisathing · 27/12/2018 19:14

Nailed it DaisyDando Grin

Original poster
Workingclass · 27/12/2018 19:15

The kids were all around 6-9 in age, just at her mansion house.

Although I do notice it also with the MC children at school so on a more regular basis. I’m not judging them, I’m just wondering if it is generally a thing and why so.
I think most parents would save the battle of doing hair and wasting nice clothes etc if they thought they wouldn’t be judged for it, so wondered if perhaps it was that MC parents don’t have the fear that they will be judged, that WC parents might.
My HV would probably have a panic attack if my DD was in dirty clothes with unbrushed hair Grin

OP posts:
Dieu · 27/12/2018 19:15

I agree. I work at a school in a very posh area, but you wouldn't know it looking at some of the kids!

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