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Original poster

To ask for the funniest stealth boasts you've seen on social media

542 replies

GunpowderGelatine · 27/12/2018 00:11

My real life recent examples:

"About to hang up our Christmas cards onto the wall and gutted to find our stapler is crap, doesn't staple anything, argh!"

Stealth boast translation: look how popular we are

"I'm so sick of getting asked for ID, I just want to buy my gin without ratching for my drivers license, I'm 35 and a mother of three for goodness sake"

Stealth blast translation: I'm soooo young looking

"Wow Holly got a Nintendo Switch for Christmas! 😱😁"

Stealth boast translation: we got her the Nintendo Switch, so we aren't thanking anyone but just want to show you all what good parents we are

GrinGrin

Disclaimer: this thread is lighthearted (not everyone finds this obvious!)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
selkiesolstice · 29/12/2018 11:35

Lol at branding your six year old as the next Dali Lama.

The perps have no idea how they hilarious they are!

Original poster
GunpowderGelatine · 29/12/2018 11:39

@DanielRicciardosSmile

KJ?

OP posts:
Pachella · 29/12/2018 11:44

@Whatevszz

I know one like this. Her 5 year old has a lot of well informed political views too

DanielRicciardosSmile · 29/12/2018 11:47

@GunpowderGelatine yes!

Shamalamalam · 29/12/2018 11:51

I have 1 stealth boaster on FB - the latest is she’s so blessed to find someone to look after her horses at her own private yard - they’ll even farrow her own private indoor school!

She is actually a really good friend and is really lovely IRL, so I take her FB posts with a pinch of salt

I also have a virtue signaller - she posted this morning asking where the homeless people were as her children wanted to give them their chocolate coins.

GabsAlot · 29/12/2018 12:11

omg whereare the homeless people?

did anyone anser that @shamalamalam

fortyforty · 29/12/2018 12:14

@Whatevszz who inspires all who meet her oh that makes me feel physically sick. I cannot stand these sorts of comments from parents, that's the worst stealth boast for me

Shamalamalam · 29/12/2018 12:23

@Gabs yes.

Some ‘hun’ stuff, few people congratulating her on raising such lovely children and most people suggested the Salvation Army or several other well known local charities/soup kitchens in nearby town.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 29/12/2018 12:33

I had someone on Facebook, I had to hide her posts because the constant,

"It's hard working taking care of a two year old who can already read full books, count indefinitely and write paragraphs....."

"When you sit down to watch a tv show and absentmindedly crochet a double cover! Oops"

I have many crafters on my social media and I love seeing what they've done but the self depreciating "this is awful I'm embarrassed to post it" with a picture of a very well done, complicated piece of work piss me off. You've done well, own it!

I also really roll my eyes at the weight loss ones, "just by stopping snacks I've accidentally lost 3 stone, my trousers don't fit! How annoying..."

GabsAlot · 29/12/2018 12:48

dear god id be rolling my eyes all over

PhilomenaNewYearButterfly · 29/12/2018 19:37

SophieLMumsnet Xmas GrinXmas GrinXmas Grin

MrsDeanWinchester75 · 29/12/2018 20:02

I wonder if GunpowderGelatin and DanielRicciardosSmile have read each others previous posts to try and find out who they are in real life?.....

Middersweekly · 29/12/2018 20:10

I only really have one person who does this a lot! Literally everything they post is a brag. They recently bought a designer rucksack at the airport on their way to yet another holiday (about the 8th one this year). Said rucksack is now appearing in the background of almost all the photos this person posts even though it’s nothing to do with the post. Pictures of constant nights out with different friends. Loads of brags about how amaizing at their job they are and a plethora of pictures of their face and with their boyfriend. I find it all quite narcissistic to be honest.

FascinatingCarrot · 29/12/2018 20:12

@Colourfullanguage
Im now also overthinking my pics of before and after do-ups!

Knittedfrog · 29/12/2018 20:22

I know your dd is a dancer, I don't need to see pictures of her doing the splits in front of every bloody landmark you visit on your countless holidays including the round the world tour!

FaveNumberIs2 · 29/12/2018 20:26

And the "we're engaged!" post with a photo, not of the happy couple, but of a massive ring, on a dainty hand which just happens to be on the steering wheel of a Lamborghini, strategically placed to show the car's distinctive badge in full ...

xwhoiamx · 29/12/2018 20:56

Hey, some of the people posting ''stealth boasts" about the inconvenience of being ID'd might genuinely dislike it. I used to get ID'd regularly up to about age 32 and I HATED it. Who wants to be told you look like a child. Really? It's not a compliment. And you're literally being accused of being a criminal (underage drinker).

misses point of thread

GabsAlot · 29/12/2018 22:29

i said that @xwhoiamx although i didnt post about it everytime it happened

Huggybear16 · 30/12/2018 09:03

“Does anyone know how I can get my new Michael Kors smart watch sorted, I can’t get it to connect to my account” with photo of blingy watch and gift packaging

The best bit was one of the replies...

“Sorry hun can’t help as I have the new Apple Watch”

Hahaha! I love replies like those!

I have a friend like this. Rather than post her own stealth boast, she'll seek out other people's posts to comment on.

My sister posted photos of her and her family on holiday in Spain. It was just her, her husband and kids at the hotel and restaurant. They were nice photos of a pleasant holiday. My friend commented:

"Amazing pics! Reminded me of my trip to Bali a few months back. So depressing having to come home to reality, huh? I've booked to go away again next month, Italy here I come!"

GenerationSnowflake · 30/12/2018 09:29

a massive ring, on a dainty hand which just happens to be on the steering wheel of a Lamborghini

some posters have really wealthy friends! New money show-off maybe, but still loaded Grin

TabbyMumz · 30/12/2018 09:36

I have a fb friend who doesn't boast about material things, but boasts about how caring she is and how much she has done for her in laws. It gets really embarrassing at times. She will put up a picture of her dead father and say "this is where I get my caring side from"...and "I just can't help bring so caring, it's in my nature" and then in her next post she will slate all and sundry.

selkiesolstice · 30/12/2018 09:38

ah nothing like a martyred altruist. People basic vomit up their lack of personal insight on facebook.

treaclesoda · 30/12/2018 09:43

I had a colleague on Facebook who posted long heart wrenching inspirational stories a few times obviously hoping they would go viral. It made me cringe and then I felt terrible because she really is lovely.

LotsToThinkOf · 30/12/2018 10:06

We’re about a million posts in and people are still misunderstanding what STEALTH BOAST actually means. STEALTH - the clue is in the word.

No one is saying people shouldn’t post pictures and statuses about how proud/pleased/lucky they are, just don’t dress it up to be about something else!

I posted when I got my first Mulberry - packaging, unboxed, everything. I said I was excited about it. That was boasting - but it was honest boasting. Stealth boasting would have been a photo of the bag but asking/talking about something else.

The best one I saw on my feed was a photo of a hand with a broken nail, the poster had written something like “oh I hate it when that happens”. Her hand was placed on the steering wheel of her Mercedes with the badge displayed.

Another one put a photo of her huge staircase dressed for Christmas, it did look beautiful but she put “I’m not looking forward to climbing these stairs tonight after my 10k run today”. So many underlying boasts in that one.

Huggybear16 · 30/12/2018 10:16

The best one I saw on my feed was a photo of a hand with a broken nail, the poster had written something like “oh I hate it when that happens”. Her hand was placed on the steering wheel of her Mercedes with the badge displayed

One of my favourite stealth boasts ever!