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Original poster

To ask for the funniest stealth boasts you've seen on social media

542 replies

GunpowderGelatine · 27/12/2018 00:11

My real life recent examples:

"About to hang up our Christmas cards onto the wall and gutted to find our stapler is crap, doesn't staple anything, argh!"

Stealth boast translation: look how popular we are

"I'm so sick of getting asked for ID, I just want to buy my gin without ratching for my drivers license, I'm 35 and a mother of three for goodness sake"

Stealth blast translation: I'm soooo young looking

"Wow Holly got a Nintendo Switch for Christmas! 😱😁"

Stealth boast translation: we got her the Nintendo Switch, so we aren't thanking anyone but just want to show you all what good parents we are

GrinGrin

Disclaimer: this thread is lighthearted (not everyone finds this obvious!)

OP posts:
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10
MaisyPops · 30/12/2018 14:20

Huggybear16
Correct. Grin Of course someone would be devastated about their nail and the only place one would notice such a thing would be in close proximity of one's steering wheel.

This morning I've seen some friends from a rival club sharing things on Strava, other friends walking in the Lake district because they've gone away for new year, others who've been for bike rides, lovely country views. Not one of them has been stealth boasting.

It's funny how many people manage to share happy things without stealth boasting.

Huggybear16 · 30/12/2018 14:25

Yeah @canigetaliein, they just can't catch a break can they? Poor stealth boasters. Grin

And YES @GrimDamnFanjo! That's exactly what some people use the "asking for recommendations" for. Stealth boasting at its finest. Could someone recommend a 5 restaurant in (insert fancy expensive location) area? Me and #besthubbyeva are going for a mini break this weekend and anything other than 5 doesn't agree with me. It's so difficult having (insert sketchy self diagnosed condition for maximum stealth boast effect).

Shockers · 30/12/2018 15:14

My husband’s work means he comes into contact with a lot of clients who value the flashier things in life. I don’t see any stealth boasting on my feed, but his is hilarious.

That said, I once completed a race that was the furthest I’d ever run. I hadn’t planned to enter, but did so on the morning of the race. I was really pleased to complete (I was one of the last to do so), and I posted about it on fb.

A good friend replied to my post by saying they’d run the same distance without fanfare, medal or applause, the following day. I almost reacted. I wanted to point out that I was proud because it was my first time for that distance; it was a really hilly course etc... but in the end I just said well done. It bloody hurt that she’d used my post to put me down though. I suspect she thought I was boasting, but I was just so pleased to have done it.

wait68 · 30/12/2018 15:31

@Shockers, I feel for you! That's why people need to see the good side of something said b4 writing/saying anything rude,mean, stealth boast; call it what you like.

MaisyPops · 30/12/2018 15:36

shockers
You weren't stealth boasting and your friend was being unkind.
Anyone who exercises and does events knows we all have different goals and starting points. You shared something you were proud of. I completed a local event quicker than some people i know but slower than others. We all shared and celebrated.

Huggybear16 · 30/12/2018 16:07

That said, I once completed a race that was the furthest I’d ever run. I hadn’t planned to enter, but did so on the morning of the race. I was really pleased to complete (I was one of the last to do so), and I posted about it on fb

@Shockers I would have been pleased with that too, and I would have posted about it also! But your friend kind of shot herself in the foot there, didn't she? By commenting, and saying she that she completed it without fanfare, she was herself bloody stealth boasting!

Huggybear16 · 30/12/2018 17:55

@MaisyPops Sounds like you and your friends are having a great time over the holidays. I would 100% be (normal) boasting about that!

GenerationSnowflake · 30/12/2018 19:05

Huggybear16
stop being so childish. Unlike some of us, my friends don't put photos with their mercedes logo, that's the point I was making.

You seem to spend a lot of time dissecting every social media post, why is that such a sore subject for you?

GenerationSnowflake · 30/12/2018 19:08

MaisyPops
you forget option 3: NOT post on social media
Sharing activities like that is common with our friends. This is just a normal part of our life. Grin Grin Grin

case closed.

Huggybear16 · 30/12/2018 21:14

You seem to spend a lot of time dissecting every social media post, why is that such a sore subject for you?

Stealth boasts are so transparent, they really don't require dissecting.

Huggybear16 · 30/12/2018 21:27

MaisyPops you forget option 3: NOT post on social media

No, she didn't forget your option 3. @MaisyPops probably didn't include it because it would make no sense in the context she gave. She was discussing how different posts along with the same pictures would provoke different reactions.

So a nonsense 3rd option followed by "case closed" makes it look like, yet again, that you don't understand what this thread is about.

MaisyPops · 30/12/2018 21:34

case closed.
Ummm no... because I've just explained quite clearly the difference between sharing something nice and stealth boasting (like many others have throughout the thread). You know, to clarify your claim that stealth boasting isn't stealth boasting it's just people sharing their normal activities.
Either you genuinely don't get it (unlikely) or are being so deliberately obtuse that it's ridiculous. My guess is on the latter somehow.
Huggybear16 Agreed.

CallMeSirShotsFired · 30/12/2018 22:53

Maisy, you get it, I get it, 99% of people on this thread get it.

The ones that don't are either being deliberately obtuse/aggy (in that peculiar MN way), quite innocently thick, or plain old stealthers.

Whichever they are, don't worry about trying to explain anymore and just enjoy the fun of stealth spotting Grin

amilosingitor · 30/12/2018 23:03

@PippilottaLongstocking We don't do it on social media because why would we ever need to talk about our cars on there? But we refer to our cars by make (makes us sound like pricks as one of them a Porsche) but the reason we do is because As a family we have A LOT of cars, so we have to otherwise we don't know what we're talking about/what keys we're looking for etc etc

PookieDo · 30/12/2018 23:09

I’ve just seen one on twitter. Person posted that they have been feeling stressed over Christmas so they were going to drink some of the ‘very expensive case of wine’ that their DH was gifted from Work. They are a prolific SB and I imagine a tinkly laugh and that they google the cost of the wine before they drink it and feel more smug that we all know how lucky they are to have expensive wine to drink when they feel stressed

Klobluchar · 30/12/2018 23:11

I’ve just seen someone on Facebook posting a (what I suppose she thinks is) glamorous pouty selfie with a caption about a man who she went for a drink with not being in her league. And she wonders why she is single....

MaisyPops · 30/12/2018 23:41

CallMeSirShotsFired
Quite.
I'm all up for explaining and assuming charity if indeed someone doesn't get the obvious. Then there hits a point where it's evidently obtuse.

I have to admit today has been a stealth free zone on my news feed. There's been lots of holiday photos of people going away for new year though.

Shockers · 30/12/2018 23:56

I might start referring to my car by make on fb.

‘Road trip to the library in the UP.’

Yep- I think that would impress.

ShesAnEasyLlama · 31/12/2018 05:27

"Just took the Corsa to Aldi to be valeted!"

"Time to get the Aygo serviced!"

"Mustn't forget to put petrol in the Fiesta!"

Yes, that will do nicely, @Shockers Xmas Grin

Noticed another one today. A bit different, but I'm sure it still falls under SB: I have a friend, who no matter what she posts about, if it's a post containing photos she will include a selfie.

Posts about cooking dinner - photos of pans on stove, then dinner plated up, then pouting shot of her.

Posts about dog walk - photos of dog going mad (awww!), kids playing with dog (double awww!), pouting shot of her.

Posts about child's achievement - photo of child with said achievement (If physical), photo of her with child (fair enough), pouting selfie of her.

Redecorates room - photos of room from every angle (Lovely!), pouting selfie of her.

Partner does something nice for her - posts effusive thanks with pouting selfie of her. (Jeez, just give him a blow job like the rest of us!)

Most posts contain something self deprecating in the text, so then there's lots of comments along the lines of "Looks great/well done/how cute and you look amazing too!" Can't help but feel its comments on the selfies that she wants, the rest of the post is just so it seems like it's not about her.

FortunesFave · 31/12/2018 05:47

I feel nothing but pity for people posting these braggy posts on FB. I don't feel irritated...slightly sad though.

They must be so insecure all the time. My nieces are great young women in their late 20s and early 30s but they're constantly posting shots of their "Gin Collection" or their new car or whatever acquisition is the latest "must have" in their circles.

They're all doing so well in life, why do they need to do this?

whatacarryon2018 · 31/12/2018 07:49

I've just seen a brilliant example
Of a "woe is me" post on Facebook.

"Everyone excited for New Years? What ever you're doing. Have a good one!"
Reply. - "well, some of us are carers so will be up all night looking
After someone"

🙄

CallMeSirShotsFired · 31/12/2018 08:16

^ Definitely a MNer! Grin

Huggybear16 · 31/12/2018 08:17

I have a friend, who no matter what she posts about, if it's a post containing photos she will include a selfie

Yes! I have known a few to do this on FB. Pouting selfies where they don't really belong are funny, and I'd say most of them fall under the category of SB.

I remember a pouting selfie on a Marketplace post. She was selling trainers and was modelling them in a number of different poses to show "how they look on". It was cringe-tastic.

Shockers · 31/12/2018 08:33

You can’t properly show the benefit of running gear without a pout.

GenerationSnowflake · 31/12/2018 09:20

You want to be right, so be happy, it's new years' eve, you are right. Feeling better now? Smile

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