To ask for the funniest stealth boasts you've seen on social media

[GunpowderGelatine]

My real life recent examples:

"About to hang up our Christmas cards onto the wall and gutted to find our stapler is crap, doesn't staple anything, argh!"

Stealth boast translation: look how popular we are

"I'm so sick of getting asked for ID, I just want to buy my gin without ratching for my drivers license, I'm 35 and a mother of three for goodness sake"

Stealth blast translation: I'm soooo young looking

"Wow Holly got a Nintendo Switch for Christmas! 😱😁"

Stealth boast translation: we got her the Nintendo Switch, so we aren't thanking anyone but just want to show you all what good parents we are

Disclaimer: this thread is lighthearted (not everyone finds this obvious!)

OMG I just had the worst morning! First of all the tyres were flat on the Bentley so had to take a black cab to the airport. Then I had to pay excess for my luggage even though first already allows extra. #brokeinBarbados.

Slightly of topic but I cannot stand when a terrorist incident or accident occurs & people post things like “So scary, I got the tube 7 years ago, it could of been me, #blessed”. Just no.

EivissaE

On fb on Xmas day night, ‘soooo fed up, spent all day setting up technology’ they have two children, so either loads of technology or they’re just a bit dim to spend all day doing it!

Also why on earth would you do it yourself?! Get the kids to do it. To be honest kids would have more if a clue than me and they can do it FAST

I almost posted a photo of my new Givenchy bag and louboutins because I was so chuffed with them, but didn't because I didn't want to come across as boasting

Are some posters deliberately missing posts explaining the difference between posting good news/being happy and stealth boasts? Or don't you understand the difference?

Nobody is saying you shouldn't post "I love my bag and shoes, so chuffed with them!"
There is nothing wrong with that at all, and I'd be made up too if I got those as presents.

What a SB might be:
"I need coffee and paracetamol! (Insert photo of coffee and paracetamol on a beautifully expensive piece of furniture, in an impeccably decorated area of the biggest room in the house. There will be designer items placed around the room so the logo is clearly visible, but it won't be mentioned as random designer items lying around is SO normal for them). I'm exhausted from hosting 30 friends at my cottage last night (read: I'm not exhausted at all, but I am so popular and have a huge house). My feet hurt from walking around in my new Louboutins, I'm usually a Gucci girl (read: my feet aren't hurting at all, just want to let you know I always wear designer shoes AND I got new ones for Christmas).

Stealth boasts are so cringey, but they're also hilarious so I love threads like this. If someone instead posted "I got Louboutins for Christmas, I love them so much and want to show them to the world!" I'd most likely think "good for them, they look fab and I'm glad they're happy with them".

Most of us are just laughing at ridiculous stealth boasts. We're not jealous/envious/bitter/whatever else. It's the fact that they are STEALTH boasts that makes them funny.

My very boastful friend had a new extension and kitchen this year and now every photo is taken in there, even opening the presents.
Previously they've been taken in a normal looking living room but this year the kids are sat on a tiled floor next to the bifold windows opening them.
All the comments were general happy Christmas ones and I'm sure she's seething that nobody said "nice kitchen hun".

@favenumberis2 i know but its not as if they even had kids together or married but its the way she goes on i feel is direspectful

@canigetaliein oh those are bloody irritating also marking their safe even if theyre in a different country

@signinthewindow
I understand the feelings, I do. I have a distant family member (who is a friend) who lost her husband quite unexpectedly, she’s now remarried but will always have a place in her heart for her lost husband because she never stopped loving him, they never divorced, they were quite happy until he died, and her new husband accepts that, BUT, I’ve never once seen her post anything on social media about him. Her kids have, (after all, he was their father and that will never change) and when they do, she always replies with love for the kids, but that’s it.

I just personally don’t understand why people post to lost friends and family.

Most of us are just laughing at ridiculous stealth boasts. We're not jealous/envious/bitter/whatever else. It's the fact that they are STEALTH boasts that makes them funny.
This ^^
The stealth element is what makes them hilarious and/or cringe-worthy.

Happy sharing - So proud of DC. I had a tear in my eye as they got their degree / I love my new shoes / iPad/ kitchen gadget. Sorry but not sorry. I'm so excited. / Had a lovely night catching up with friends yesterday. We've got to catch up more often and not let life get in the way. / look at how scruffy our puppy got. For some reason he felt the need to try and chase a crisp packet into the duck pond. Now we have a very smelly dog / very happy with my 10k time this morning considering it was icy/ oops I think I overcooked at christmas (photo of bowls of leftover veg) / time to get back to the gym. I've been lazy over Christmas.

Stealth boasts- dont you hate that feeling when you think you might not have enough food or drink for guests (photos of multiple bottles expensive fizz and 7 different him options) / getting back to being fit and thin again, checking in at the gym to loose the Christmas weight gain (photo of flat stomach at just the right angle with a filter on it) etc

@gabsalot I agree. And it makes other family members feel shit! Especially if you were closer to the deceased that the poster!

And yes, those posts marking posters safe when something goes off, especially when they are in another country!!

*gin options

I do think the OP has a point, but yes I do wonder why people continue to follow people on social media who annoy them.

I've got about 250 Facebook friends and only one of them ever used to do this sort of thing.

Every (very regular) post was a stealth post after she married a wealthy man and he inherited a large house, so I just hid her profile.

I'll reinstate it when they get divorced...

Stealth boasts don’t annoy me though?

I think they’re a bit pathetic, and needy but they don’t annoy me.

kay
Because, in the case of the stealth boasters on my feed, they're lovely people and I get on well with them. Their online antics are ridiculous but they're actually nice people.

Equally one friend from university who I get on well with (but can be flaky due to endless man drama), insists on playing out all relationship drama on Facebook and posting lots of passive aggressive 'share' photos. We used to be really close but after she prioritised various men over friends, I've chosen to keep a distance to avoid being hurt again. I like her and get on well with her but I really hope she starts to see sense on how she handles relationships

A daughter of a friend once posted a photo of herself with a very bored looking homeless man after she’d bought him a sandwich and a cup of tea.

She waxed lyrical about how humble, yet fortunate, meeting him had made her feel.

Then she stood in front of him to take a selfie...

Huggybear16 & MaisyPops I’m actually shocked so many people don’t get the difference.

Yep “GabsAlot”.

Shockers that shocking!

A sleb, by any chance?

No @Wauden, but she wishes she was. In fact, she's done almost exactly the same as @Shockers example above before now. Bloke said he'd have preferred a beer.

In fact, I have a had a few friends who've posted how their kids have wanted to buy and give things to homeless people. Always their kids, never them. It's amazing how many people's five year olds seem willing to give away their chocolate bars. Not saying it doesn't happen, I remember my own DS crying that he wanted children in Africa to have clean water like him (we made a donation, no need to post about it), but I couldn't have got him to part with chocolate in a million years, I would have had to have bought a second bar then forced him to give it, not the spontaneous act that so many friends post about their kids doing.

I'm not annoyed either. In the case of a few people I feel bad for them that they don't realise that the impression they're trying to give is the opposite one to the message they're plastering on facebook. It's the shooting yourself in the footness of it that makes me sad.

I don’t feel jealous if people do this I just don’t follow them.

But I do follow my neighbour and she is very entertaining. Now she doesn’t earn too badly but not to the levels she tries to portray on SM. It’s weird as I can actually see the ‘reality’ and it looks nothing like what she posts on SM, it’s almost awe inspiring how she manages to cleverly make things look like they don’t. Our housing is nothing special and landlord isn’t known for being very good. So you could say it’s a bit grotty (for instance the garden). This does not stop neighbour. She posted a Christmas shot that wouldn’t have looked out of place on a Kardashian insta page. She gets an angle and carefully placed items and filters to make the shitty garden look like Babylon

I don't see proud photos as boastful. If you have worked hard and want to show FB it is ok. I enjoy seeing different posts, some people do over do it but why should it spoil it for others.
I know one girl, she is a single mum to 3 DC she has put up photos of all the Xmas, the eve boxes and the morning and dinner, the DC and her place looked great. I just think fair play to you, if I wasn't scared of bern a lick ass I would tell her the same. Ino her life is really hard and the photos mean so much to her.
It isn't always bragging, when it is genuine pride it is nice to see.

Emerald, have you not read any of the thread?

Do you honestly not see the difference between happy pride and stealth boasting? Really?

I get it. Neighbour posted 2 boxes on to Insta that had writing on them in French. The caption said ‘if you know you know’
I don’t bloody know! No idea what’s IN the boxes and clearly either I have to ask or just accept I am too poor to ‘know’

@GunpowderGelatine, unless there is an epidemic of crap staplers this year, I believe we have a friend in common...

A friend of a friend posted that, "despite all the present wrapped and ready for Santa to deliver on Xmas, my 6 year old, when meeting the man himself had said that all she wanted was 'world peace and for everyone in the world to live their best lives'. So blessed to have this wonderful child in our lives who inspires all who meet her."

Reality : I'm a pushy stage school mum who's trying to set my daughter up as a 'brand' and influencer whose child probably wants all the same crap as everybody else's but has been coached with some line to make her look like the next dali lama.