To ask for the funniest stealth boasts you've seen on social media

[GunpowderGelatine]

My real life recent examples:

"About to hang up our Christmas cards onto the wall and gutted to find our stapler is crap, doesn't staple anything, argh!"

Stealth boast translation: look how popular we are

"I'm so sick of getting asked for ID, I just want to buy my gin without ratching for my drivers license, I'm 35 and a mother of three for goodness sake"

Stealth blast translation: I'm soooo young looking

"Wow Holly got a Nintendo Switch for Christmas! 😱😁"

Stealth boast translation: we got her the Nintendo Switch, so we aren't thanking anyone but just want to show you all what good parents we are

Disclaimer: this thread is lighthearted (not everyone finds this obvious!)

That’s one tree down, two to go. Huge house boast lady!

My Mercedes was into be fixed today, had to settle for hubby BMW. Posh car boast lady!

FaveNumberis2 I agree. They can’t see it or read it. It’s odd but you see it a lot.

Found the comments about talking your life up interesting. A new friend (once I got to know them well) mentioned that when I first met them I always talked about myself and my son, and emphasising things which showed how good a parent I was.
Little did they know I’d spent 5 years in a relationship being told how shit a parent I was by my sons Dad. I’d spent so long being told I was shit that I needed someone to tell me that I was actually good, even if that someone was me, in order to get validation from friends.

You never know what goes on behind those “perfect life” Facebook posts!

@theymademejoin read my whole post to get the point please.

I'm saying she used to gleefully, happily stealth boast about the times she got asked for ID.

Then she got asked when she didn't have any and had had a stressful day. I go on to Say that I'm being lighthearted.

Please don't use totally misquoted sections of my post to make your own point. It's really not right or fair.

i did actualy used to get id'd not a boast it was bloody irritating

@cricketmum8 - read my whole post to get the point please.

I did read your full post. My point still stands.

I'm saying she used to gleefully, happily stealth boast about the times she got asked for ID. That's your take on it. For most people, it's irritating when it's assumed you're a lot younger (or older) than you are.

Please don't use totally misquoted sections of my post to make your own point. It's really not right or fair.

I didn't misquote you. You stated she stealth boasted about being id'd. I disputed the notion that it was a stealth boast.

I post nothing on social media except pictures of cakes or jars of preserves I have made. At a stretch I might put a picture up of mtpy family having a walk in a muddy, village lane. I was a poor, working class girl who became a teacher and did well by dint of working with no breaks for decades, staying in the same house for decades, staying married and living frugally.

The jealousy and resentment I have attracted has truly shocked me. Everyone assumes that the hard won, boring, respectable, comfortable life I lead is the result of an inheritance or lottery win instead of plodding and resolute frugality. Even my sister resents me as if I were the Countess of Downton. Extraordinary.

So maybe the boasting is in the eye of the receiver.

My family not my mypt family! Doh!

I donated to charity this year in lieu of sending Christmas cards, I only put it on social media because several people had sent me cards already and I didn't want to appear rude. However, I donate to charity regularly throughout the year, and each month through my salary and don't even mention it, so I hope it wasn't seen as a humblebrag.

On the other hand, I have some quite aggressive virtue signallers and humblebraggers on my SM, mostly I can't get rid because they're family or connected to my hobby.

There's the Mum to a toddler who bangs on about her Mum guilt because she works and it's just so hard to be away from her precious for that one day per week, but on comments from well wishers suggesting maybe they could manage to get by with her being a SAHM it's oh no, they can afford that, but she just wants to keep her hand in. Stealth boast = I don't really need to work.

I have someone else who is always posting how awful she feels (she has the same condition as me) but is usually in full make up by 9am and posts selfies captioned "So tired" and "So much pain" which then attracts a slew of "You look gawjus babes" type comments. When I have a bad day it's all I can manage to get dressed, my hands wouldn't work to put make up on nicely, I end up looking like Elizabeth I!

Another likes to alternately do selfies with lots of cutesy "ugly" faces and say she looks hideous for comments, or else she posts blatantly staged photos that she claims are candids (staring wistfully out through a rain spattered window, walking along an empty beach with the most unnatural, posed walk I've ever seen etc.). She also heavily implied on SM that she and her DH had bought their house. I went to their housewarming and DH mentioned that they'd got a great deal on the rent by offering to make good on a few bits that needed work. She'd been posting on SM that they were "ripping out and completely redecorating" and how stressful "renovating" is. Her DH was very quick in telling us it was only a few bits repaired and a coat of neutral paint that had been allowed.

I have another that posts long, rambling posts about how to live our lives, how her heart aches for all the poor and needyin the world and how everyone should always show love and kindness and compassion. Lots of comments saying she's an snfel on Earth etc. In reality she's actually rather petty and has been quite disablist towards me and my family. There's other stuff too but she has shit going on in her life, so if virtue signalling helps her feel better then so be it, I can mute her and rise above it.

*an angel on earth, not snfel!

But no one likes a show off.
That some people have better stuff going on than others is a taken.Theres lots of genuine lovely photos of fabulous places, wonderful weddings, cute kids on my Facebook. Because some of my friends are just posting their normal lives.
If you have to stealth brag about it, it means you think it’s something you don’t deserve on some level. You just want people to think it’s how you are. It’s different.

@foodenvy and @pyongyangkipperbang
I know, right? Why do people do it? If you want to send your love, visit their grave or take a moment to sit in quiet reflection, not plaster it all over social media.

I have a friend who does this regular, professing unending love for a deceased partner and constantly sharing rememberance posts from every part of her partner’s illness, demise, death, and so on. How can you expect to heal and carry on with your own life with this constant reminder and promise to love no other? (And then there’s the forty quid bunch of flowers, picture on SM in the middle of the summer, just left in a field to rot as a momento followed by 100 comments of “Hugs babes” “here for you babes” “so sad” etc etc. It’s very attention seeking.

@shadowweaver
I can understand why some might find it a personal comfort, but I honestly don’t understand it. I’d rather remember my lost ones by lighting a candle, raising a glass, visiting their grave, or just saying a prayer in private. And not posting about it on SM.

Well I was given a box of these as an Xmas tip. I ate the lot in 2 days and then found out the box was £12. Now I know why they tasted so good. M&S Swiss truffles have turned me from 10p Freddo’s to a stealth boast 🙈. Nothing but M&S truffles for me from now on at Xmas (only me though the rest of the family can fuck right off 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️)

In earnest of my post I do have my dads grave to visit I’ve already outlived him 9 years but I still remember him no matter what. It’s the here and now that make my Xmas and no that’s not selfish because it’s my kid xxxxx

fave i iknow onw of those goes on about him every year whats worse is shes with someone else now-i found that quite sad

Hmm not sure I'm stealth boasting that my mum's dead when I wish her a happy birthday on FB

It wasnt suggested that you were, and I am genuinely sorry that you lost your mum. But I must ask, why do you wish her happy birthday on FB? I dont get it. I miss people I have lost, but I wish them Happy Birthday in my heart rather than anywhere else.

@silvercuckoo Omg! What happened? did social services arrive???

@gabsalot how awful for the current partner!

I have another that posts long, rambling posts about how to live our lives, how her heart aches for all the poor and needyin the world and how everyone should always show love and kindness and compassion. Lots of comments saying she's an snfel on Earth etc. In reality she's actually rather petty and has been quite disablist towards me and my family. There's other stuff too but she has shit going on in her life, so if virtue signalling helps her feel better then so be it, I can mute her and rise above it.
A sleb, by any chance?

I’m at all of this
I’m about to get a Range Rover and have always wanted one, I’ve worked so hard and can’t wait. I want to tell every bastard with ears about how I HAVE A RANGE ROVER. However, I won’t, because everyone with think I’m a flash twat.

@gabsalot
@FaveNumberIs2

I always write a FB post on my late partner's birthday and anniversary, though I have now been married to someone else for years now. It's a way of taking a moment with our mutual friends to appreciate and remember a life well-lived, but lost too soon and a friend, father and son much missed by all of us (including my now husband).

Not really me but on behalf of dd (16) who is v tall and gangly, not happy with herself. She has a tiny pretty petite friend who literally constantly finds ways of mentioning how tiny and cute she is - i.e. putting on one of dd’s tops and rushing out to show me how she’s ‘drowned by it’. I just can’t play along even though I know I should be more mature and not care. It’s dd I feel sorry for as I know she is so uncomfortable in her body right now.

Oops yes, forgot the social media bit which is the friend putting photos if her looking as small and cute as possible, usually by pushing dd to the front of photos or pics of her little foot next to dd’s rather large ine. Ew.

Oh yes- the people who say stuff like "I'm so useless at walking in high heels because I have such gangly legs, like a newborn foal"!

I veer between amusement and irritation.