To ask for the funniest stealth boasts you've seen on social media

[GunpowderGelatine]

My real life recent examples:

"About to hang up our Christmas cards onto the wall and gutted to find our stapler is crap, doesn't staple anything, argh!"

Stealth boast translation: look how popular we are

"I'm so sick of getting asked for ID, I just want to buy my gin without ratching for my drivers license, I'm 35 and a mother of three for goodness sake"

Stealth blast translation: I'm soooo young looking

"Wow Holly got a Nintendo Switch for Christmas! 😱😁"

Stealth boast translation: we got her the Nintendo Switch, so we aren't thanking anyone but just want to show you all what good parents we are

Disclaimer: this thread is lighthearted (not everyone finds this obvious!)

I'm lucky I don't recognise many designer labels other than cats....although I have a couple of friends obsessed with Irregular Choice shoes, which I think a vile

@starcrossedseahorse I've no need to, his stealth boast posts make me chuckle.

Ha @fluffyears I am Scottish but live “dan sarf” now! The derek I know likes in Dundee!!

Ha @babyno5 we always give ourselves away. My ‘Derek’ is from nearer Glasgow lol....oh god two of them 😱

We won the hamper but will be giving it to homeless charity

That's not stealth boasting, that's virtue signalling. Oh we're such lovely people, we'll give away our prize to people less well off than we are.

The most common one I see is on a local FB group were people ask for tips about a destination for holidays (translation: we're off to Florida, go us).

My stealth boast on social media is my two beautiful cats, not pedigrees or anything posh like that but I love them to bits and want to share them with everyone.

I have an FB friend who is famous for her boasts about how she is the martyr to motherhood.
Two children, 14 and 19. She would boast about how she just about dragged out herself out of the bed with bronchitis, fever, hacking cough and whatever else to prepare her 19 year old a big nice warm lunch. Got pissed off when instead of admiring her we told her her health should come first so instead of coughing into the mashed potatoes she should have ask her daughter to prepare something for herself or buy something in a fast food joint.
Next time she boasted about how she cleaned her house for the Easter with no help from anyone because surely, she can't ask her 13y old to vacuum clean and worked herself to near physical breakdown as a result while her children were at parties or in their rooms, playing computer games.
She loves being the boasty martyr.

It's a Hunter's wellies kind of day'......... posted by someone who had obviously bought her kid a pair and wanted to show them off. Not just any kind of wellies day. A Hunters Wellies kind of day.

I mean......they're wellies ffs.

Hunters are shit wellies.
I say this as the stealthily boastful owner of horses and dogs and therefore live in my wellies, up to midcalf in shit and mud most of the time oh the glamour
I miss 'proper' hunters, now they're just expensive wet feet tbh. £15 emergency replacement from Asda have lasted much longer.

On the subject of stealth boasting though, I do sometimes think others take a genuine pride in something that someone is boasting. My sister achieved something that not a lot of people from our kind of background do. I'm incredibly proud of her hard work and I posted pics of the day we celebrated. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
I do see the posts that have been highlighted though and scroll on by, in my more charitable moments I think maybe they're genuinely proud they've been able to buy their child this or that, or afforded a fantastic holiday. In not so charitable moments I think they're just posting for likes. Either way I rarely respond when it's a regular thing.

yo
Sharing something nice isn't a stealth boast.

A stealth boast would be just another trip to the vets. Can you believe it's cost us another £200 for an appointment. The trials and tribulations of Benji being a rare pedigree. Still hopefully he'll be better soon (photo of dog with designed collar strategically photographed with some luxury item close by or designed doggie collar)
Aka
Did I mention we have a high disposable income and have a pedigree dog... not just any dog because they're a pedigree you see .

Most people if they were going to share a pet photo would share a pet photo and maybe a get well pet comment or a short complain about out of hours vets bills.

maisy I know, forgot to put in the bit about how many toys they had for Christmas and photos showing them reclining with piles of catnip mice all round them and accepts of Dreamies.

Packets!

I almost posted a photo of my new Givenchy bag and louboutins because I was so chuffed with them, but didn't because I didn't want to come across as boasting.

Can proudly post about it now on this thread though 

The worst offender on my FB is a friend who's very high up in a cosmetics company and who regularly posts pics of the piles of make-up freebies and views from amazing hotels while on business trips. She's worked bloody hard to get there though so most of the time I feel happy for her. Sometimes though I mutter 'fuck off' and scroll past. Maybe our reaction to FB posts reveals more about us than we realise and I bet we're all more tolerant if we're feeling happy with our own lives.

A friend of mine was once posted that she was now the proud owner of a Mulberry handbag. I was tempted to post back that I was a proud owner of a Tesco carrier bag!

Good thing I read more ask was bout to say stealing my kids crisps

The ones that grate on me are the couples who post messages to each other on SM boasting about steak knives, a new fire place etc.
In real life, the couple are awful people. They're very image focused and only want to associate with the "right" type of people or "right" type of things.

They had no interest in my partner until they found out he had a Phd. They then wanted him to come to one of their "occasions". The wife was also rather put out when I posted a picture of our kittens. The kittens looked like ragdolls, we had them from my partner's colleague, not pedigree or anything special but ridiculously cute. She kept questioning me on whether they were our cats.

That said, there is one person on my Facebook who refers to “my team” when talking about work and yes, I get she is the boss and well done her but in my experience only massive pricks refer to their team as “mine” rather than “the team” or “our team”, even if they are in charge of it

My boss always refers to us as ''my team'' on Facebook when he posts how proud he is of us or how well we've done or when he thanks us. He's not a ''massive prick'' Far from it. He's the most decent,kindest,nicest,fairest boss I've had.He's always got our backs as we have his.We are his team,he's our boss.

I follow a blogger called The Fashion Bug Blog (well, mostly instagrammer) and she comes out with some shite.

@cricketmum84 - My sister is 34 but looks a lot younger. She used to constantly stealth boast about getting asked for ID.

It's not stealth boasting. It's really bloody annoying. I look young for my age and it irritates the hell out of me when people tell me I don't look old enough to have a 20 year old, or I must have started very young, or I look to young to do the job I do etc.

I don't get id'd these days (I'm 53 so you'd want to be blind to think I was underage) but I always had difficulty getting served or getting into clubs when I was younger and it was just annoying.

Looking younger (or older) is hardly an achievement so definitely not anything to boast about, stealthily or otherwise.

Oh god @fluffyears can you imagine if they met each other in Benidorm 😂😂. They’d come back talking about “this absolute prick I met on holiday with the same name “ 😂😂

Just remembered one that could have been stealth boasting if I had been clever enough!

"Just ordered my brand new car.... have to wait 6 long weeks for it to be made to spec, but it will be worth it!"

What I actually posted was "OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD!!!! I HAVE ONLY WON A FUCKING CAR!!!!!! AND I GET TO PICK THE COLOUR!!!" In fact I broke the Terry Pratchett rule on exclaimation marks I was so excited :o I dont think I am built for stealth :o :o

What about the posts to deceased people? Am I the only one who feels they are a bit creepy and uncalled for?

Fave My cousin does this and it pisses me right off.

My grandparents had 5 kids, 9 grandkids and a multitude of great grand children. But you would think that she was the one and only. She has taken ownership of anything and everything to do with my grandparents in a virtue signalling way, as if she is the only one who loves or misses them. My uncle, the kindest sweetest man alive once properly lost his shit with her about it and she has toned it down but it still annoys me.

Hmm not sure I'm stealth boasting that my mum's dead when I wish her a happy birthday on FB.

People should boast more.

Exactly!

Boasting = all fine and good
Stealth boasting = tiresome